# 103 - March 26th, 2008

Greetings one and all…Hopefully you are stuffed to the gills with Easter eggs and the various other goodies of the season. I know I am. With Hummingbird out of town visiting family, I was invited to Easter dinner by some friends who took pity on me and then proceeded to spoil me rotten! This brings me to the Wine of the Week…My friends cooked a superb pork roast, from a pig that was born, raised, and slaughtered in Boonville. This was served with roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings, some very tasty green stuff, and topped with delicious gravy. It doesn’t get much better and when accompanied by the multi award-winning 2005 Pinot Noir from The Valley’s Esterlina Vineyards, the whole experience was, dare I say it once again, orgasmic!…Pork and pinot noir = hog heaven – trust me on this, you can thank me later…

Of course, I now have to offer a Whine of the Week; although it’s not so much a ‘Whine’ as a response to an item of correspondence that appeared at the beginning of last week’s letters page here in the A.V.A. The two writers of this letter offered their opinions on which businesses contribute to the community and what constitutes a local scene, before assuring “Vulture” that he should “relax” and announcing that we will all “survive” the closing of The Highpockety Ox pub/restaurant in downtown Boonville. They are entitled to their opinions of course; one can only hope that those opinions are well founded.

Over the past three weeks or so, I have spoken to a couple of the staff at The Ox and many former customers. The reaction to the pub’s demise has been the same in every instance and is best summed up in this response from one the regular patrons, “It may be no big deal to some Valley dwellers, but they are clearly not that familiar with the scene that The Ox provided. When a country community such as ours loses one of its gathering places, particularly one that provided free live music by local musicians every Saturday night for two years; a business that put on a Film Festival in which more than 50% of the movies had a local connection – again free of charge; one that offered wines only from local vineyards – you know, those where many of the community are gainfully employed; one that gave discounts to local people all day and night on both Sundays and Mondays; one which gave much joy (and both useful and not so useful information) to the community at its weekly General Knowledge and Trivia Quiz; etc; etc; etc;, then something of significance to many has been lost…Although tourists certainly patronized The Ox on weekend afternoons in the summer, it was primarily a gathering place for many from the community of Anderson Valley. The writers of that letter need to get out and about in their community a little more, and not just to Lauren’s and Boontberry, although there is nothing wrong with those two places of course. As the otherwise narrow-minded letter said, “community is where you find it” – yes it is, for them and for everyone else…”

I agree. Obviously all those who enjoyed The Ox will “survive” its closure, but perhaps it should be pointed out to the writers who concocted this ill-informed letter that lots of local people were disappointed by the demise of The Ox and, in their minds, there is no similar alternative around – a pub/restaurant at which to spend some of their leisure hours with many other Valley folk…And one more thing, shouldn’t the writers of such an opinionated letter about life in The Valley live in The Valley full-time and not just at certain times of the year. Just a thought…

Let’s get to the Turkey Vulture Quiz before it’s too late…Answers at the end…

1. Who is the new coach of the A.V.H.S. Baseball team?

2. Apart from churches, which organization was the first to be chartered here in The Valley, even before the Odd-Fellows Lodge or The Grange?

3. ‘Philo Pump & Power’ is owned by Jeff Pugh, and a fine job he does too, but who owned the business before Jeff?

I definitely think we need to squeeze in a Quote of the Week…”Work is the curse of the drinking classes” – Oscar Wilde offers an alternative viewpoint to that of Karl Marx and one with which I concur unreservedly…

It had been a couple of weeks since I last flew out to the coast so I headed that way on Friday morning and it turned out to be a very good decision. It was a beautiful day and the sight of the rays of sunshine glistening on the sea was stunning…I stopped for gas at the Fort Bragg Oil on the southern outskirts of the town. Not only was the service very friendly and efficient, unlike another gas station not too far away where one of the employees is a former winner of my annual “Rudest Customer Service Employee” award (the one who makes a curmudgeonly Turkey Vulture seem like a playful clown), but as I began to drive away, I noticed a sign saying “BBQ 2 Go” right next to the mini mart connected to the gas station. Now I don’t mind telling you that ever since my days working at “Big Bob’s Bar-b-queue” in Austin, Texas, I do know my BBQ and endeavor to try new bbq joints whenever possible. I pulled over and entered “J.D.’s Flying Pig”. I tried the benchmark dish of any self-respecting bbq restaurant – the brisket…It was excellent! With the beans and potato salad it was as fine a lunch as I’ve had for some time and strongly recommend you try this place next time you’re that way…I just thought you should know…Oh, and the gas is reasonably priced too…

That’s enough for now…Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches, think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…But first, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at

Quiz Answers…
1. The baseball coach is non-other than A.V.H.S. alumni, Ben Anderson who has taken over from the long-serving Gary Johnson…

2. It was The Ancient Order of Foresters, formed here in The Valley around 1900…

3. Mike “Fix it with a smile” Crutcher and wife Karen used to own P.P. & P…

# 102 - March 19th, 2008

Greetings one and all…Firstly, I must apologize to everyone left confused and/or disappointed by the fact that the date of The St. Pat’s Day Dinner to benefit the Senior Center turned out to be Sunday, March 16th – St. Paddy’s Eve. I had informed you in last week’s column that the event was to be this coming Saturday, March 22nd. That is what I had been reliably told by one of the organizers and also how it appears in the A.V. Grange Newsletter’s Calendar of Events. Apparently they later decided to not go with the 22nd (it’s Easter Weekend) and brought it forward six days to the 16th, still wishing to avoid the popular St. Pat’s event in Elk on Saturday, 15th – the original reason to move it in the first place. Is that clear now? Hopefully people made it to the event on Sunday and nobody is too disappointed. I’m sorry for any confusion…
There’s been so much going on around here that I’ve neglected some of the regular features of the column of late…Let’s begin to put that right immediately with The Turkey Vulture Valley Quiz…
1. At the last official count, what is the population of Navarro?
2. Who is the current owner of the gas station in Philo?...And who were the previous owners?
3. And, going all the way back to the beginning of Anderson Valley’s non-native American history, what were the names of the only two white families that were settled in the Valley between 1852 and 1855?

Now I think it’s about time we had a Quote of the Week - an appropriate one given that it is St. Patrick’s…”Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy” – non-other than one of the truly great Americans, Benjamin Franklin. What a great man!!

On to some words of advice from my #1 Fan – Confused of Comptche, who this week explains how we can all help to combat the terrorist threat around these parts…“I can't see what all the fuss is over the latest bugging row. Infringing someone's civil liberties by listening in to a conversation is a small price to pay for public safety and we should thank the security services rather than criticizing them. In fact we must all do our bit and remain vigilant if we are to defeat the terrorist menace in our midst. I myself rent out a small apartment to two female exchange students and I have installed surveillance equipment in the shower in case either of them goes in there to make a bomb of some sort.”…Err, thanks for your words of advice…err…keep up the good work, I suppose…

I must take a moment to recommend that you try to stop by Lauren’s restaurant in the next month or so to see the current art/clothing on display - the work of local designer/artist/seamstress Helen Papke, one of the ‘Cheesecake Crew’ who have been “doing their thing” in the Valley for many years. Helen is from a family that has been making clothes from an assortment of materials for many generations. Her current offerings are unique and present many “one-of-a-kind” jackets, tops, bags, and miscellaneous items. Opening night took place last Friday and there was a good turnout, particularly from the women of the Valley (“where were the men-folk?” I wondered), and hopefully Helen will sell plenty of her very reasonably priced works. The show runs until late April but don’t delay, her stuff might just sell out…

I left this event and walked into The Lodge for a beer and was greeted by a group of several men whose wives were at the art show at Lauren’s! Question answered – the women were gathered at the artistic event, whilst the men drank in the bar – things haven’t changed for centuries…The men were part of a lively happy hour scene that saw most of the barstools occupied as were quite a few of the tables in The Grill. Owner Tom Towey has certainly done a fine job over the past couple of years and the atmosphere was very friendly and welcoming. The pint of Guinness and fish and chips were pretty good too!...

Anyway, wherever you ended up, I hope your St. Paddy’s was full of good cheer and fine beer. I decided to have a “good drink” on Monday and managed to resist the temptation of the “very good drink” that I have had on this day for more years than I care to remember…As I may have mentioned before, due to the number of “amateurs” out in force on this day I am no fan of the way St. Paddy’s is celebrated in many quarters. In fact, on many a St. Pat’s, when confronted by an obnoxious drunk, I have been heard to growl “Kiss my ass, I’m Irish” rather than the more acceptable version. I should point out that in Ireland itself, until the Americanization of that fair isle over the past decade or so, St. Paddy’s has always passed with relatively mild celebrations or small parades, or at the most a fine meal and a “good drink” - which was just how I spent mine. Honestly!...

Time to go…Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches, think yours, Turkey Vulture… good thoughts, and may your god go with you…But first, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net
Quiz Answers…
1. There are 67 Deep Enders who officially live in the town of Navarro…
2. Chris Tompkins is the main man at Philo’s gas station…Art and Sony Hatcher were there before him. All very good at their job, I should add…
3. Those first white settlers were the Andersons, led by Walter, and the family of J.D. Ball. What must they have thought?

# 101 - March 12th, 2008

Greetings one and all – did you remember to put your clocks forward on Sunday morning? It’s now Wednesday so those of you who still haven’t got round to it are living proof that there is such a thing as “Boonville-time”!...Meanwhile, in the real world, I am a little under the weather so I may be a tad miserable in my comments this week and not the usual Vulture – i.e. full of sunshine and light, bringing the joys of Spring into your lives…We’ll see…
Anyway, how was your Variety Show experience? Most people I spoke to felt that the audience was really “into it” this year, particularly on the Friday night when Master of Ceremonies, Captain Rainbow, was not hung-over – no, no…I kid the Captain!...I had a good time on both evenings, both at the show and in Curmudgeon’s Corner on the parking lot during my unofficial intermissions. Numerous people joined me there for in-depth discussion, analysis of the acts, and naturally a beer or two, perhaps a glass of wine – even as the wine industry was being lambasted from the stage by some of those who rarely say no to a glass of the ‘evil-nectar’ if offered one – strange, isn’t it?…
My favorite moments were provided on Friday by a ‘family-values politician’, played by W. Dan Houck, who was “exposed” as a women’s lingerie-wearing pervert in the opening skit, and then on Saturday, by the refreshingly dark-ish humor featured in the skit by Monica and Marie Schulte-Bisping, and finally by punk band, “30-06”, who closed the show with their superb anthem, “Nine miles to Boonville”…I thought that some of the dancing and singing was excellent – particularly the Egyptian belly dancing act and a trio of rappers from Ukiah; and some was not so good. Some of the comedy was funny, some wasn’t. No, it wasn't...But that doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s the taking part that counts and everyone up on the stage should be applauded for giving his or her best…
The usual politically correct comments were sprinkled around as always, encouraging those in the audience who lap this predictable stuff up to show their unquestioning approval of such comments - yawn!...All-in-all, it was a ‘variety” show in every sense of the word, a little something for everyone, and that’s what it’s all about…So, on behalf of many, many Valley-dwellers, I offer a sincere “Well done!” to Captain Rainbow, Bill Moyer, and their assistants who have all worked very hard over the past few months to put the Show together. Based on attendance numbers, The Variety Show is the “Best Anderson Valley Event” and long may it continue…
There has been lots of talk around The Valley this week with regards to the closing of The Ox pub in downtown Boonville and the ensuing article written in these pages last week by A.V.A. Supremo, Bruce Anderson, that discussed this topic and pub landlord (and A.V. Brewery Owner), Ken Allen’s, level of involvement in it. Based on my somewhat informed knowledge of events, I thought the column summed up the situation very accurately with blame attributed to several factors, not the least of which was “King” Ken’s exorbitant rent requirements – obviously a key factor in the decision to close. Ken Allen is a businessman; a ruthless one perhaps, but as a result he is a successful one - if success is judged solely on the making of money. Some businessmen aim to combine a profitable enterprise with “service to, and goodwill amongst, their community”. As mentioned in this column in the past, Ken does give something back to the community from profits garnered during the annual Beer Festival, but overall his ‘modus operandi’ and social interactions within the community mean that he is not popular in The Valley and surely he knows this…If he cares, does anyone think that this is somewhat sad?…
Finally moving on…In the past I have expressed curmudgeonly opinions about the actions of some people on New Year’s Eve but I have to say it is not the worst night for such behavior…It’s only my opinion of course but, in all my years of bar/restaurant experience and patronization, this ‘award’ clearly goes to St. Patrick’s Day. This is not only an occasion for the poorest “amateur” drinkers to show their true colors but, unlike New Year’s Eve which is primarily an evening affair, for many on St. Pat’s there is a long day of heavy drinking well before the nighttime drinking and inevitable sloppy behavior gets underway.
Of course we here in The Valley do not behave in this way – well may be some of us do - but in the meantime you should be aware that this year’s St. Patrick’s Celebration for the A.V. Senior Center is not this weekend. This civilized and wonderful local event will be held the following week, on Saturday, March 22nd, at The Apple Hall - more details in next week’s column…
As predicted at the beginning, on re-reading the column, it would appear that I’ve been in a slightly miserable mood this week. I’m sure you don’t need this kind of negativity for the approximate two cents this column has cost you! My apologies…Aagghh!...Where’s my meds??...Time for me to go…Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches, think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…But first, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at

# 100 - March 5th, 2008

Greetings one and all…Are you ready for the Variety Show? It’s happening this coming Friday and Saturday, March 8th and 9th, starting at 7pm on each night. Hopefully there will be a wide range of acts, a little something for everyone in fact, and not that tired old acoustic guitar act that wasn’t very good the first three times I heard it…Many people have worked very hard on putting this together and along with recent The Crab Feeds it is a true Anderson Valley event and deserves your support…See you there…
But now it’s time for a little entertainment of a different kind - The Quiz…This week I’m looking for some dates…Answers at the end…
1. When did the pub in downtown Boonville, The Highpockety Ox, open at the location previously known as The Buckhorn Saloon?
2. In what year did the last verifiable family feud shoot-out take place in The Valley? Who were the two families that were involved?
3. In what year did the law change so that it became a requirement for The Valley’s Judge/Justice of the Peace to be a qualified attorney with at least five years experience? a) 1922 b) 1957 c) 1977
Having recently mentioned the number of newborns and toddlers in The Valley these days, it should come as no surprise that there was a baby shower that took place at The Senior Center this past weekend. This was for One Horse Espresso’s Natalie White who is expecting her (and husband, Clay Mattson’s) baby boy later this month. For some obscure reason I was not invited but Hummingbird was and she reports that the heir to the coffee stand in downtown Boonville would be pleased to know that the gathering to celebrate his upcoming arrival was a wonderful affair.
Quote of the Week…This one comes from learned observer of society and man of many wise words, Samuel Johnson…”"There is nothing so far invented by mankind that brings as much joy as a good pub or inn"...I wouldn't dream of arguing with that…
These wise words are particularly relevant this week following the closing, for numerous reasons, of The Highpockety Ox in downtown Boonville - The Valley's only community bar/restaurant, an “eating and drinking establishment for all” - i.e. a pub…The Ox has closed after twenty two months in business and you will no doubt hear of all sorts of explanations for this. There were mistakes made and inconsistencies continued at various times during the period of business – the owners and staff would be the first to admit this, I’m sure. Nevertheless, as a regular patron I am very aware that there were many satisfied customers, just not enough of them over a long period of time, and my inside sources tell me that the ultimate reason for closure is that due to the excessive overheads and costs The Ox was simply not profitable and could not continue to lose money…
In my humble opinion, The Valley has lost a real asset and I hope that, at some point in the not-too-distant future, a similar venue is provided for the many people who enjoyed The Ox and found it to be what every community needs, and what Samuel Johnson was referring to – a decent “local”…
I attended the “Closing Party” on Friday night and, along with a very large number of others, had a great time. Hummingbird enjoyed sitting on her perch (the bar’s front deck) for the final time and, with The Rock Slingers (Pilar Duran, Kevin Owens, and Raul Duran) kindly donating their time and talents, and beer flowing freely for the last time, a wonderful atmosphere was created…But it was not without its weirder, Boonvillian moments…
Firstly, The Ox’s final night coincided with a previously arranged birthday party at the bar for David Norfleet – one of the founders of the A.V. Brewery, which had originally been at this location. It was certainly strange to hear the exuberant rock and roll rendition of “Happy Birthday” by Courtney Reid (wife of current Head Brewer Neil Atkins), as the very-soon-to-be unemployed staff stood by and drowned their sorrows at what was essentially a wake for The Ox. Norfleet makes it to 65 years and counting, The Ox died at 22 months…Secondly, “King” Ken Allen, Norfleet’s former business partner, A.V. Brewery owner, and more pertinently, landlord of The Ox, was clearly seen by many present as the villain of the piece. Evidence of this arguable viewpoint was provided by the scene during his exit in the middle of the ‘festivities’. As he walked down the ramp at the side of the building, his departure was greeted with shouts from several unidentified regulars of “cut the rent you a***hole” that were simultaneously accompanied by the tossing of pennies in his general direction. I heard but did not see this incident so cannot comment on the rumor that he bent down and picked them all up…Finally, another strange thing of note was the attendance by two or three local people who, according to the staff and management, had never been into the bar at any time previously, or, if they had ever graced the bar with their presence then it had only been for one of The Ox’s many free events. The kind of people the barstaff wouldn’t want to see on their final night, I’m sure. Did they come for the freebies on this occasion? Obviously they did. Shame on them…In stark contrast to the many Valley folk who supported The Ox, these few pathetic, classless cheapskates are better off staying at home, or perhaps I should say, in their caves...Please pass me the sick bag, Bruce…
Time to go before I start pecking a few eyes out with my big, red, powerful beak – one that can rip through the hide of a cow or every cheap bastard I’ve ever met……Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches, think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…But first, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at
Quiz Answers…
1. The Ox was open from May 2006 to March 2008…
2. In 1922, the Hanes and Crispin families staged their own version of the ‘Gunfight at the O.K. Corral’…I know and see a couple of Hanes ‘Boys’ around town so does this mean that they won?
3. The answer is b) 1977. Up until then the Valley’s justices had been regular citizens with ‘real-life’ jobs…