# 286 - November 23rd, 2011

Greetings - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... A Happy Thanksgiving to one and all for tomorrow’s big event! What a great day – “Well done!” to whoever thought of it... This Mother-of-All national holidays, and by far my personal favorite, is all about celebrating with friends and family. Throw in food, drink, and football and it surely can’t get much better than that!
Anyway, as you digest that unnecessary yet unavoidable second helping of food tomorrow, and before your nap, perhaps you will be inclined to summon up the energy to take part in my Thanksgiving Day Quiz... Answers at the end of the column...
1. How many people were aboard the Mayflower when it set sail from England in 1620? a) 35 b) 88 c) 102 d) 148 e) 715
2. One year after the pilgrims had arrived at Plymouth Rock half of them had died. So, as they sat down to the first Thanksgiving, what would you say was the ration of men to women at that historical event? a) Even b) 2:1 c) 5:1 d) 9:1
3. What color was ‘taboo’ to the new settlers and was never worn?
a) Red b) Purple c) Blue d) Black e) Brown & Gold
4. What was the last name of the Mayflower’s Captain?
a) Smith b) Brown c) Jones d) Bligh e) Pardini
5. Which two teams in the N.F.L. traditionally play at home on every Thanksgiving – one since 1934, the other since the 70’s?
6. How many degrees can a Turkey see with its eyes?
a) 360 b) 270 c) 180 d) 90
7. What is America’s favorite dessert on Thanksgiving?
a) Pumpkin Pie b) Pecan Pie
c) Sweet Potato Pie d) Crème Brule
8. At the first Thanksgiving which of the following was approved table manners? a) To eat with your hands b) To spit on the floor
c) To throw bones into the fire when done d) All of these
9. Who pushed for the Turkey to be the nation’s national symbol?
a) Benjamin Franklin b) Abraham Lincoln
c) F.D.R. d) George W. Bush
10. Fish, fowl, peas, pumpkins, veal, beef, turkey...Which of these items was not on the very 1st Thanksgiving Day menu?
11. True or False? - Indians attended the first Thanksgiving feast.
12. True or False? - Thanksgiving is always the last Thursday of November.
13. True or False? Male Turkeys are the ones who make the gobbling sound.
14. True or False? The Pilgrims bought beer with them on the voyage to the New World.
15. True or False? At the early Thanksgivings, Turkey Vultures were also on the menu.
Staying with the “Thanksgiving” theme for the Quote of the Week, I have a few words from Matt Groening, creator of ‘The Simpsons’, to perhaps remember when all of the family is gathered together on the big day – “Families are all about love overcoming emotional torture”…Hey, it could have been worse – I was going to share Joseph Stalin’s comment about gratitude which is a feeling we should all perhaps have on this special day. He said “gratitude is a sickness suffered by dogs” – what a miserable bastard; I shall not be inviting him or his ilk over tomorrow!... O.K., let’s have a positive thought to finish with – and with the Thanksgiving Day Dinner the focal point for most of us, what better sentiments than those uttered by English novelist and essayist, Virginia Woolf, who very wisely pointed out, “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well” – who could possibly argue with that!...
Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready... #100 – It’s Thanksgiving tomorrow – just to remind the less alert amongst my readership... #101 – The annual Holiday Bazaar sponsored by the A.V. Unity Club is next weekend, Saturday Dec 3rd at the Apple Hall in Boonville from 10am to 4pm. More details next week... And that’s it – apparently a week dominated by Thanksgiving and not much else...
Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life...
... The 3-Dot was a little quiet last Saturday evening as several regulars decided to take a road trip out to Elk and ‘Bobby Beacon’s’ bar there – up on a hill overlooking the small town and the ocean beyond. It is owned and run by the Elk Fire Chief of that name and with his generous drinks and the bar’s friendly atmosphere, it is no wonder that this very out-of-the-way location is popular – even the Valley’s Bloyd Family – Amy, Eric, and Mea - make it their regular Saturday night haunt!...
... The recent ‘Occupy Hendy Woods’ event was a success according to both those involved and those who attended. Up next, as the community and others try to keep this special place open to one and all, will be a short film and discussion on this very important topic at the 2012 A.V. Film Festival in January...
... The regulars who stayed in town came to the almost unanimous decision that for bar snacks it is very difficult to do better than Lauren’s fries and The Buckhorn’s chicken wings... No argument here...
... A few other customers decided to by-pass the road-trip to the coast, and both the bar snack discussion in the 3-Dot and the Hendy Woods event, to travel down to Rincon Valley just northeast of Santa Rosa, to watch the #2-seeded A.V. High School girls compete in their postseason Volleyball final against the #1 R.V. Christians. And they must be so delighted they did. In what was apparently one of the most amazing games in this program’s long, storied, and very successful history, the Lady Panthers came out on top in a five-set thriller 25-19, 17-25, 25-23, 23-25, 16-14 to clinch their second successive post season title. Many congratulations to the players and Coach ‘Flick’ McDonald...
Well, why not finish on that very high note, I say? I’m outta here... Remember to ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – Happy Thanksgiving!
Answers to the Quiz...
1. Answer c). 102 – 74 males, 28 females. (2 dogs, no Turkey Vultures).
2. Answer d). With only fifty-one survivors, the ration of men to women was 9:1 – there were just five women remaining! I couldn’t possibly comment further...
3. Answer b). Purple. It was associated with wealth and the upper classes in the Old World at that time.
4. Answer c). Jones. His name was Christopher Jones
5. The Detroit Lions (since 1934) and the Dallas Cowboys play at home on this day every year, which for the hapless fans of the Lions, in recent years anyway, has generally meant a miserable Thanksgiving.
6. Answer b). A Turkey can see for 270 degrees around it. This would explain why you’ve had little luck when trying to creep up and capture a wild one for dinner. I suggest you just buy one from Lemons’ Market!
7. Answer a). Pumpkin Pie, although Freshly Squished Squirrel Pie covered in a creamy entrails sauce is the pie of choice here at The Nest.
8. Answer d). All were acceptable – similar to Thanksgiving at The Nest where guests are encouraged to partake in each of these.
9. Answer a). Benjamin Franklin – a great man and obviously a true visionary.
10. Beef. Not even bulls’ testicles or cow eyes. Too bad...
11. True. The Indians easily outnumbered the Pilgrims, more than half of whom had died over that first year.
12. False. It’s always the 4th Thursday of November, even when November has five Thursdays.
13. True. Females do not.
14. True. Yer gotta like that.
15. False. That would be unacceptable, although possibly quite tasty.

# 285 - November 16th, 2011

Greetings - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Most important duty of the day is to inform you of this month’s A.V. birthday boys and girls. Here we go...Jeanne Nickless, Shirley Harris, Judy Long, Dave Kooyers, Cheryl Rajeski, Gerry bowers, Pat Hulbert, Ginny Camping, and last, but certainly not least, Harold Hulbert...’Happy Birthday!’ one and all...
And almost as important...It would appear that there has been a potentially significant change to the A.V. School Board with the election of Ben Anderson who will replace the recently retired Grace Espinosa on this ‘Gang of Five’ who make many decisions affecting our schools and therefore the children of the Valley. Anderson received 25% of the vote, with the other two ‘winners’ being incumbents Dick Browning (20%) and Marty Bradford (19%) – surely a disappointing endorsement of their efforts in recent times, one has to say. Bradford very narrowly (by 17 votes) edged out Ernie Pardini (18%) to hold on to her seat of twenty-six years standing, while ‘new kid on the block’ Don Harris garnered a creditable 16%. There are still a small number of votes to be counted but it is very unlikely that these positions will change... Let’s hope Mr. Anderson, with his fresh ideas and boundless energy, can follow up on his pre-election mission to ‘clean-up’ the school, both literally and with regard to its many contentious issues, and at the very least possibly bring an end to the very questionable number of 5-0 votes that have dominated the School Board’s decision-making for far too long. As he himself said, “I am very willing to be held accountable – you will see me around the school. I will endeavor to work on the connection between the school and community that many feel is not there. Whether that feeling is right or wrong is irrelevant – many perceive it that way. I genuinely care deeply about this school. This is my home and I want the best for where I come from, where I lived growing up, and for the kids of Anderson Valley’s future.”
And with that in mind, here is your Quote of the Week, from David Broder, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for The Washington Post and a political writer for four decades, who wrote, “It is dangerous for a political candidate to say things that people might remember.” I’m very hopeful that Anderson will do his very best to overcome any such ‘danger’ and will ‘walk the walk’ in the ways that he has clearly stated... While I’m here in Quoteville, let’s have another relevant few words from the lighter side – “Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then we did elect them.” That’s from comedienne Lily Tomlin and I can insure you that she did not vote in the election here last week...
Now it’s time for the Public Service Announcements - calendars and pens at the ready... #78 – Tomorrow, Thursday, Nov 17, will see the vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital returning to the Valley after a two-month absence due to staff shortages. They will be at The A.V. Farm Supply from 2pm-3.30pm and have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then have to wait a long time. In fact, everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will definitely be seen... #79 – Although it is not the final weekend of the month, that will be the one after Thanksgiving, the Barn Sale is taking place this coming weekend when it will be ‘Christmas in November’! This will take place at The Big Barn at The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville, from 9am to 3pm, on both Saturday and Sunday, Nov 19 and 20. Many special items for the holiday period will be on sale so this is your chance to get some Xmas shopping done early... #80 – ‘Secrets of Salsa’, the bi-lingual cookbook by the Mexican women of the Valley, celebrates its10th Anniversary edition with some new recipes and a book signing on Sat, Nov 19. This will be from 2pm-4pm at The Shed, behind the ice cream store in Boonville – follow the signs... #81 - Dusty Rhodes and Her Handsome Cowboys are at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville on Saturday, Nov 19 with a 9pm show...
Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life...
... Once again a very moving Veterans’ Day event was held last week at the Evergreen Cemetery on A.V. Way. Despite inclement weather, a crowd of over forty Valley folks, aged from nine to ninety and beyond, showed up to support this poignant occasion honoring those who have given their lives while serving in the military. Special mention was made of the powerful readings by Patty Liddy, Joe Patelle, and John Toohey of letters written by soldiers from the war zones of Vietnam and Iraq to their loved ones back home. No doubt those in attendance had many thoughts about those who had ‘fallen’ and hopefully everyone took a few moments at some point last week to follow the words - ‘We shall remember them’...
... Those regulars who attended the recent wine and mushroom evening at The Buckhorn, Boonville, were full of praise for the delicious five-course dinner prepared by Chef/Owner Tom Towey and his crew, along with the wine pairings provided by Tom Rodrigues of maple Creek Winery... The overwhelming consensus was that hopefully another such evening is already in the works...
... Several of our patrons expressed a desire to pass on their best wishes to Bob ‘Oyster’ Sites for a full recovery from his recent illness. Bob, whose life companion and better-half is school advocate Terry Ryder, is a popular figure on the Valley social scene where his wit, joviality, keen observations, and ability to make short stories long is being missed by many... Miss ya, Bob – get well soon...
... ‘Black Saturday’ for A.V.H.S. sports was a major talking point amongst the regulars at the 3-Dot following November 5th’s last minute defeat for the football team in their regular season championship-deciding game at Pt Arena and the overtime penalty-kick shootout loss by the boys’ soccer team in their play-off game against Emeryville High on the same afternoon... The #2 seeded girls’ volleyball team continues to roll however and will play a play-off semi-final game tonight at home against #3 Mendocino with an appearance in the final on Saturday as their reward for a win...
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave... So, ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace...

# 284 - November 9th, 2011

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... This coming Friday (November 11th) is Veterans Day (Remembrance Day in Europe and Canada), and is rightfully regarded as a very important day for observance and commemoration. The actual day marks the anniversary of the end of hostilities in World War One or ‘The Great War’ (the so-called “War to end all Wars” - if only it had been), which took place specifically at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 1918. It is not a day to celebrate victories but rather one to take a moment for remembrance of those who fought, and in many cases gave their lives, in that war and the many since so that our lives may be better today and in the future.
With this in mind, I am going to forego my usual ‘chat and conversation’ and instead present a poem. These very moving words are entitled “Disabled”, a poem written in 1917 by World War One poet, Wilfred Owen, arguably the finest war poet of all. They express the tormented thoughts and recollections of a teenaged soldier in the Great War who has lost his limbs in battle and is now confined, utterly helpless, to a wheelchair. The subject contrasts the living death he is now facing with the youthful pleasures he had enjoyed "before he threw away his knees" and he goes on to recall the impetuous and frivolous circumstances in which he had joined up to fight in the war. He also notes how the crowds that greeted his return were smaller and less enthusiastic than those who cheered his departure, and how women no longer look at him but instead at "the strong men who were whole". In the opinion of many, it is one of the finest anti-war poems ever written. Please read on...
“He sat in a wheeled chair, waiting for dark,
And shivered in his ghastly suit of grey,
Legless, sewn short at elbow. Through the park
Voices of boys rang saddening like a hymn,
Voices of play and pleasure after day,
Till gathering sleep had mothered them from him.
About this time Town used to swing so gay
When glow-lamps budded in the light blue trees,
And girl glanced lovelier as the air grew dim---
In the old times, before he threw away his knees.
Now he will never feel again how slim
Girl's waists are, or how warm their subtle hands.
All of them touch him like some queer disease.

One time he liked a blood-smear down his leg,
After the matches, carried shoulder-high.
It was after football, when he'd drunk a peg,
He thought he'd better join.---He wonders why.
Someone had said he'd look a god in kilts,
That's why; and maybe, too, to please his Meg,
Aye, that was it, to please the giddy jilts
He asked to join. He didn't have to beg;
Smiling they wrote his lie: aged nineteen years.
Germans he scarcely thought of; all their guilt,
And Austria's, did not move him. And no fears
Of Fear came yet. He thought of jewelled hilts
For daggers in plaid socks; of smart salutes;
And care of arms; and leave; and pay arrears;
Esprit de corps; and hints for young recruits.
And soon, he was drafted out with drums and cheers.

Some cheered him home, but not as crowds cheer Goal.
Only a solemn man who brought him fruits
Thanked him; and then enquired about his soul.
Now, he will spend a few sick years in institutes,
And do what things the rules consider wise,
And take whatever pity they may dole.
Tonight he noticed how the women's eyes
Passed from him to the strong men that were whole.
How cold and late it is! Why don't they come
And put him into bed? Why don't they come?”

p.s. Wilfred Owen was killed in action at the age of twenty-five, on Nov 4th, 1918, a week before the war ended. Ironically, the telegram from the War Office announcing his death was delivered to his mother's home as her town's church bells were ringing in celebration of the Armistice, signaling the war’s end.
Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready... #251 – The ‘Occupy Hendy Woods’ movement of local folks is acting on their words and doing just that, starting on Friday, November 11th at 4pm and going all weekend in their efforts to save that majestic place for all of us to share and enjoy. It will be a time for information sharing, community networking, and discussion as they unite as one clear voice to save our park. The park will close forever in June 2012 if something is not done to save it. Let's not let that happen! More details of the weekend’s activities can be found on the group’s Facebook page... #252 –The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital are back – they will be at The A.V. Farm Supply next Thursday, November 17th to be precise, from 2-3.30pm. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time - everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen...
Be careful out there...May your god go with you… Let us pray… Very humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at

# 283 - November 2nd, 2011

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... As Election Day approaches, I’m sure most of you are aware that there is a vote on libraries coming up – the ‘Vote ‘Yes’ on Libraries’ signs are everywhere, although other than that, given the distinct lack of signs, slogans, and political discourse around these parts in general, you might not be aware of an even more important vote taking place - for the A.V. School Board. Yes, folks, five candidates are running for the three open seats on the Board, and this too will be decided upon next Tuesday, November 8th. I just wanted to remind you as nobody else seems to be. Now you know, so please do try to get out to vote – you know it makes sense – and remember, if you do not vote, then any complaining about the government is not really valid…P.S. For further information about the candidates and their thoughts, check out the Candidate Interviews somewhere nearby in this very newspaper...
There are many excellent quotes that have been made on this topic so here we go with my three favorites for your Quotes of the Week... Let’s start with the classic by Abraham Lincoln who unforgettably said, “The ballot is stronger than the bullet.” Up next is drama critic George Jean Nathan’s comment, “Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.” And finally, one which I think should be followed to the letter here in the Valley, Madonna’s saucy remark, “If you don’t vote, you’re going to get a spankie!” – making it tempting to not vote I would say! I’m (half) kidding...
Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready... #343 – On Sat Nov 5 at The Grange on Hwy 128, it’s The Ruth Moody Band with Laurie Lewis and Tom Rozum. This is a benefit for local public radio station, KZYX/Z, and it ‘kicks-off’ at 7pm... #344 – Tuesday, November 8 is Election Day... #345 – It’s the second Tuesday of the month on November 8 and that means Dinner and Bingo Night at the Senior Center – good food, beer and wine, top quality bingo with prizes, and, as you know by now - you don’t have to be a senior to attend! So, after your hard day at the polls, I urge you to come along and support this event, and remember - all proceeds go to our Senior/Community Center... #346 – The ‘Occupy Hendy Woods’ movement of local folks is acting on their words and doing just that, starting on Friday, November 11th at 4pm and going all weekend in their efforts to save that majestic place for all of us to share and enjoy.
It will be a time for information sharing, community networking, and discussion as they unite as one clear voice to save our park. The park will close forever in June if something is not done to save it. Let's not let that happen! More details of the weekend’s activities can be found on the group’s Facebook page...
And now to a public service announcement that gets a paragraph of its own... The special Veterans Day (officially Friday Nov 11th) event held annually at Evergreen Cemetery on A.V. Way will take place this coming Sunday, November 6th at 10.30am It should be stressed that this occasion is not a political or religious event. It offers a chance for us to show support and gratitude for both those who gave their lives or were wounded in wars of the past, and for those who have served or continue to serve so that we may have the freedoms and liberties that we continue to enjoy today. In terms of taking a deep breath and thinking about what really matters, in my humble opinion, this is one of the more important community gatherings of the year. Despite it’s significance it will take less than an hour so please think seriously about attending... Hopefully I’ll see you there... N.B. A little inclement weather will not postpone this ceremony, after all those we are remembering went through far worse I’m sure, but in the event of significant rain, signs will be posted at the cemetery informing you that we have moved to the Veterans Hall / Senior Center in Boonville. Different place, same time – 10.30am...(Remember to move your clocks BACK earlier that morning)
Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life...
... How was your Halloween? Hopefully you did not get caught up in the annual ‘Battle on the Streets of Boonville’ between The Zombies and The Angry Villagers, thankfully won once again by the Villagers. With their burning torches and sharpened pitchforks, the Villagers saved the town from those walking corpses who would no doubt have made things very difficult around here had they been victorious – certainly with their plans to ban all speed limits, bring in a Starbucks and a Taco Bell, invite outsiders to plant even more vines, open a medical marijuana dispensary in the school cafeteria, and shockingly install former Brewery Supremo ‘King’ Ken Allen as Mayor of Anderson Valley. It was a narrow escape and we have much to be thankful for...
... From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series - ‘Forget The Rapture and worry about The Approach of the Apocalypse’... Buzzard reports, “I recently read in this newspaper about the plague of flies in the Valley at this time of year, and its connection to the significant decline in the number of frogs – the flies’ natural enemy – quite likely as a result of the spraying done by the wineries. A winery advocate said, ‘you can’t grow grapes without sulfur, so what if a few frogs go, too?’ Charming, eh? I would respond to such nonsense by mentioning that a couple of months ago I was reliably informed that at one of the winery’s ponds there had been sightings of six-legged frogs! Six-legged frogs! This once again prompts the question, ‘What the hell is been sprayed around here?’... Anyway, after a few more moans and groans, Turkey Vulture and I opened a bottle of Pinot and moved on with our discussions”...
... Yes, we did - showing what hypocrites we are! I love wine, and many of the varietals produced by our locally owned wineries are not to be missed. All I can do to explain my hypocrisy is to refer you to the proverb – “all are not saints that go to church.”... Or to give you yet another Quote of the Week, how about these words from Greek philosopher and tragedy writer, Euripides, “Often a noble face hides filthy ways.” Come on Euri, didn’t you mean, “Often a filthy face hides noble ways”?... Hope you enjoy and get to share these bonus Quotes of the Week with your friends...
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave... ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!
p.p.p.s. Vote, vote, vote!