# 313 - June 27th, 2012

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... So how was it for you? The Sierra Music Festival that is…Apart from a few complaints about the loudness of the music late on Friday and Saturday ("I live over a mile away and didn't hear a song I liked until 1am on Saturday!") and the sheer number of people in town clearly under the generally very mellow influence of various substances, I heard mainly positive comments as I hovered in and around downtown Boonville over the weekend. Deputy Craig Walker tells me that there were five arrests on Friday and none at all to his knowledge on Saturday or Sunday – quite amazing considering there were perhaps as many as 7,000 visitors in town …

       I finally landed at The Buckhorn on Sunday afternoon and, along with about seventy others, watched some live soccer from Europe. It was England against Italy in the European Championships (think World Cup for European countries only) and the crowd in attendance, mostly visiting for the Music Festival but taking a break to watch some soccer, featured a wide spectrum of nationalities, including French, Australians, English, Irish, Ethiopians, Nigerians, a German, an Italian, a Scotsman in a kilt (not Bruce Anderson) and a sprinkling of Valley folk. It was a veritable Pub of Nations! They all seemed to have a great time and only one local left in disgust at the whole proceedings, muttering to himself as he left, “I f***in’ hate this s***”. I’m not sure whether he was referring to the soccer, the Music Festival, or his life in general - or perhaps all three…

       Overall, I’d say the Festival was a success for most, and it has grown significantly over its seven years here in The Valley with this year’s event the largest yet in terms of attendance. It has a good ‘feel’ about it, with virtually none of the silly behavior that comes with The Beer Festival, and those “in the know” say it is one of the best music festivals anywhere. No doubt we will hear about any problems and inconveniences that arose but, as I mentioned above, there were many, many “thumbs-up” for the event, both from visitors to our Valley and locals alike...    

  

         Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready... #127 – Don’t forget that the Boonville Farmers’ Market takes place every Saturday morning from 10am to 12.30pm in the parking lot at the Boonville Hotel… #128 – With the new owners at the A.V. Farm Supply continuing to run the operation just as before their purchase, the vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will still be making their visits to the Valley in order to see our pets on a regular basis. In the month of July they have two visits planned - on Thursdays July 5 and 19, from 2pm to 3.30pm each day… #129 – Just around the corner it’s the 15th Annual Boonville ArtWalk when you can enjoy the warm hospitality and vibrant art that Boonville is famous for. ArtWalk is an event sponsored by AV Arts, the AV Chamber of Commerce, and Boonville merchants, ArtWalk takes place on Saturday, July 7th from Noon - 6 p.m., with dozens of local artists and craftspeople at businesses throughout the downtown area. With creative art activities for kids and adults, it’s a great summer family outing! Call 707-895-2204 for more information… #130 - The 2nd Annual PawFest to benefit the A.V. Animal Rescue is once again at the A.V. Brewery. Fun, food, drink, live music, raffle, silent auction, dog demos and an appearance by local Deputy Walker and his dog Argus, all taking place from 2pm to 6pm on Sunday, July 15th… #131 - the Kate Wolf music festival is this coming weekend, but that’s in Laytonville and I would humbly suggest that you will have a better time by staying in the Valley, hanging out with local people, and supporting local small businesses…

       Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life... 

... As mentioned above, the new owners at the A.V. Farm Supply are settling in well and doing a fine job as they learn the ropes with the assistance of previous proprietors, Dave, Nancy, and Mark Gowan. There is a lot to learn for the new guys before the Gowan’s depart for Oregon, although if enthusiasm and friendliness count for something, then the Ardzrooni’s and their crew will be absolutely fine… 

… A regular stopped by and showed us the recent issue of ‘Wine and Spirits’ magazine featuring an article on Valley wines by Talia Baiocchi. However, the piece, which focused on the Valley’s Pinot Noirs, appeared beneath the confusing headline “Brightliners in the Deep End”. ‘Brightliners’? Really? Surely she meant to use the Boontling phrase ‘Brightlighters’ when referring to city folks. Come on Talia, if you’re going to write about the Valley do us the courtesy of getting the basics correct – certainly if it’s your headline!…  

… The Valley was also in the ‘headlines’ when it featured in the most recent issue of the national news magazine, ‘The Week’ by way of the New York Daily News! The latter’s Jeff Heilman was quoted in the magazine’s travel section, describing the Valley as ‘charming wine country, free of the tourist hordes that can spoil Napa’ and ‘a patchwork of vineyards, orchards, and sheep-dotted hills sweeping up to forested ridges’. However, Mr. Heilman goes on to say that his ‘moment of true rapture’ came when driving along the 11-mile redwood tunnel (the Navarro Redwoods State Park) to the sea, a journey ‘ as moving as a cathedral.’ Difficult to argue with that part, although for ‘sheep-dotted hills’ one has to go back several decades when there were 75,000 of my woolly friends who called the Valley their home, rather than the 3,000 who reside here now. Still, I guess it’s nice to get a mention, and now we can expect more hordes of brightlighters (but not brightliners) to head this way…

       Well now I think it’s time to take my leave. So until we talk again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

# 312 - June 20th, 2012

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… As happens with most ‘scandals’ in these parts, the story of a ‘change in direction’ for the local store, ‘All that Good Stuff’, planned by landlord Johnnie Schmitt and friends’, that gripped the community a few months ago, had its loud ‘fifteen minutes of fame’ and then quietly disappeared. Both sides involved in that episode believed they had solid points to argue in their favor and the discussions could have gone on and on as a disappointed community became increasingly involved, but the story soon passed into Valley folklore and we all moved on. However, inevitably in this case, there would be more developments to report at some point and, following recent in-depth investigations, I can now do so… 

       According to owner Leslie Hummel, she and business partner Claudia Jimenez, have managed to find a ‘new home’ for their store, which has been one of the most popular small businesses among most Valley folks for many, many years. Apparently at some point towards the end of the year, or perhaps very early in 2013, they will be moving to the property next to the Fire Station on Hwy 128. At this new location, they will have a fair and reasonable lease agreement with property owners Aaron Weintraub and Anne Bennett, who are developing their property in that up and coming area of town known as SoBo (south Boonville). This is already the home to local businesses, ‘Sheer Elegance’ hair and beauty salon, owned by Amanda Hiatt, and Steve Woods’ architect’s office and, I am reliably informed, there are more to come. No doubt the community, which showed virtually unanimous support for Leslie and Claudia in their dealings with the Farrer Building and its human associates earlier in the year, will get together to enjoy to a big send-off party for Leslie and Claudia when they make their move to what will hopefully be, given their recent problems, a more satisfactory situation for all. The question now is – what goes into the Farrer Building in their place? I could make an educated guess but I’ve said enough for now… 

       Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready, it’s a busy weekend coming up… #125 – The annual Sierra Nevada World Music Festival takes place at The Fairgrounds in Boonville this coming Fri thru’ Sun, June 22-24. Thousands of reggae-loving visitors will be here and they will no doubt be joined by many locals too… #126 - Those of you wishing to get a feel for the European Soccer Championships currently taking place in Poland and Ukraine, can watch two of the quarter-finals this Saturday and Sunday (June 23 & 24) at The Buckhorn in Boonville. Both kick-off at 11.45am and with the big festival just down the street I would expect quite a large crowd to take a break from the music and watch a little of the world’s game with some hot wings and a few cold beers… #127 – This Saturday and Sunday will also see the monthly Barn Sale at The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory from 9am to 3pm each day on A.V. Way just north of Boonville… #128 – The monthly I.C.W. (Independent Career Women) gathering is a week from today - Wednesday, June 27. Call Sandra at 895-9020 for details… #129 – And finally this week, it’s an early-ish heads-up for this year’s PawFest – the annual fundraiser for the Anderson Valley Animal Rescue. PawFest 2012 will take place on Sunday, July 15 at the A.V. Brewery and will once again feature a bbq by the Lions Club, live music with the Peanut Butter Jam Band, beer and wine, raffle, silent auction, dog demonstrations, and much, much more…

       It’s been a quiet week around the 3-Dot this week and all I have for you is this ‘deep analysis’ of an aspect of Valley life from our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard…

       “‘I am very aware that living in a small community has many pro’s and con’s. This week I wanted to share one of the latter with you. One of the problems is that people can relatively quickly get on each other’s nerves – ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ is a phrase that comes to mind. While ‘contempt’ is too strong a word for the people I have in mind, I have come up with a few key monikers to apply to some of the folks we have to tolerate socially in and around the Valley who, as a group, would come under the title ‘Annoying Valley Dwellers’ – the A.V.D.’s…”

       “There are basically five types… 

1. The Self-Obsessed Bachelor / Bachelorette, or S.O.B.’s to give them a useful and appropriate acronym. These are the friends most of us have who are single and have become self-indulgent to such a degree that they lose all sense of social and personal etiquette when they are with you. They rarely want to talk about anything except themselves, and think only about what is best for them, not caring about you and your ‘less important’ issues. They are simply not used to having to answer to anyone else and expect to do whatever they want to do without compromise. We normally stick by them of course, after all we loved them before they became S.O.B.’s, and we hope they ‘find the way’ either alone or with a partner. Nevertheless, they push us to the limit. For a full list of such characters check out… (continued on page 64)... 

2. The Cappers – those who, having listened to you for a few minutes at the most, have to ‘cap’ your tale/news with a similar tale/news of their own that takes much longer to tell and, more often than not, is quite boring if the truth were told. Nevertheless, they just have to grab a little limelight whenever they can, always lecturing, unable to just listen and converse. For a full list of such characters check out… (continued on page 74)... 

3. The Interrupters, in less polite company these are often called ‘The Rude Bastards’. They are acquaintances that come up to you when you are clearly involved in a private conversation with someone and just stand next to you. You obviously will courteously acknowledge them but they do not go away even when your personal conversation resumes. What is their problem? Fortunately I cannot think of many of these particularly annoying people although I do have one or two in mind. For a full list of such characters check out… (continued on page 84)... 

4. The Prompters – those who ask you a question with apparent sincerity only to jump in after a few seconds or so and deliver a lengthy monologue about the topic they had prompted you with. It was all a ruse to get to talk about their experience and themselves. For a full list of such characters check out… (continued on page 94)… And last but certainly not least… 

5. The Know-it-Alls – those who pontificate endlessly and self-righteously about many different topics. There are many of these around the Valley but perhaps the one we all know to be one of the most annoying of them all is the Turkey Vulture – what an Annoying Valley Dweller that curmudgeonly bastard is, between you and me, of course!” 

       “I realize that dealing with such people in a social situation is one small part of the human experience, and that most of us have such people in our lives. However, they often have many good qualities too. In fact they are often our friends. Nevertheless, I do wish there was a way of making this aspect of their personalities go away - please forward ideas to moaningoldbuzzard@apocalypseapproaching.org”

       After such a tirade of nonsense, I have asked the Old Buzzard to get his coat and leave… To the rest of you, I say, ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

p.p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace...

# 311 - June 13th, 2012

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... And we’ll start off this week with a question for you. What do these Valley folks have in common? – Eva Holcomb, June Lemons, Diane Herron, Carolyn Short, Alice Fashauer, Rod Basehore, Barbara Bowers, Larry Lombard, James Crabtree... No, they’re not all regulars at newly reopened Boonville Saloon, not that there would be anything wrong with that if they were… Yes, you’ve got it – every one of them celebrates a birthday in June! Many happy returns to them all…

       Great news!!! The A.V. Farm Supply is still with us! The new ownership, Ardzrooni Vineyard Management, took over last week from long-time owners, Dave and Nancy Gowan and have pledged to continue the farm supply operation, in all its guises, as much as they possibly can. This means gardening and livestock supplies, items for your pets, etc, etc, even selling the A.V.A.! Well done to them, and to the Gowan’s who really wanted the business to continue in the traditional way after they move on to greener pastures in Oregon in the very near future. Now its time to do our part – so please get over to the store, say ‘Hi’ to the new staff, led by Andrea Ardzrooni, and support your local farm supply!...

       Moving on… The Graduation Season is at an end and the school students have departed for a summer of fun and frivolity, and perhaps even to find time to give a little help to their parents around the house and in the yard! I attended some part or all of each of the four graduation ceremonies in the Valley, although there are just two that I personally feel are really meaningful – the one last Wednesday for the 6th graders going on to ‘the big school’, and Thursday’s ceremony for the high school seniors. I am certainly not alone in thinking this way. Just the other night on the local radio station, presenter W. Dan echoed these sentiments and several parents have also voiced similar thoughts. I am not against the pre-school graduation or the 8th grade event as such, each are lovely occasions, but with four graduations before our students are even eighteen I feel we somewhat downgrade the significance of the other two ceremonies – each of which are particularly important watershed moments in a young person’s life. I could go on, but won’t; after all, the joy on the faces of every child and parent at all four events was something both very special and even moving and, I must admit, even bought a tear or two to this curmudgeon’s eyes…  

 

       Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready... #124 – As mentioned above, the Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will continue to make regular visits to the Valley. In fact they return here tomorrow, Thursday, June 14th. They will be at The A.V. Farm Supply from 2pm to 3.30pm and if you call them 48 hours in advance (462-8833) you can ensure that your pet’s charts are brought ‘over the hill’ and also order any medications your pet might need. New customers and their pets are always welcome… #125 – It’s the 3rd Friday of the month so that means the Grange Groove is back, coming to The Grange on Hwy 128, on Friday, June 15th from 8pm on, and featuring dancing and gyrating to the sounds of D.J. Pete (KZYX d.j. from ‘Up All Night’)… #126 – And talking about sleepless nights, it’s time to seriously start thinking about getting tickets for this year’s Sierra Nevada World Music Festival which comes to the Valley on the weekend of Fri-Sun, June 22-24… #127 – And finally, I do believe that there is a Lions Club meeting at The Grange on Monday, June 18th at 7pm. Not joined yet? Check it out - they are a fine group of Valley folks who contribute many great things for the Valley and have lots of fun doing them…

       Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life... 

... The Boonville Saloon (formerly The Boonville Lodge) has re-opened for business after a few months’ hiatus. There has been a bar in this location or thereabouts for over one hundred years and that makes it a veritable Valley institution. Some people like to be in an ‘institution’ and I for one shall be joining them there very shortly…

... From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series - ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse’... Buzzard reports, “The summer is just about here – we are past Memorial Day so I believe that makes it official. That means it’s time to reiterate my ‘Five Rules of the Road’ for these parts, the breaking of any of which surely goes to show that the Apocalypse is fast approaching… #1. All drivers shall follow the rules of the road. That most definitely includes California Vehicle Code # 21656 – ‘Slower vehicles must pull over to allow others to pass’. Furthermore, we shall have no driving over 60mph anywhere and no driving under 40mph in the 55mph limit without pulling over in the Valley’s many turnouts to let others pass. Of course driving at 30mph or less in town is to be strictly enforced, with very grave consequences for those who do not follow these guidelines. Do I hear ‘feed ‘em to the pigs’ from anyone?... #2. All drivers parking at 90 degrees to the sidewalk outside businesses and stores will have their vehicles egged. Eggs will be paid for (upon proof of receipt and photograph of the eggs on the windscreen) by Captain Rainbow, as failing to park parallel to the sidewalk is his pet peeve and he wants to see the practice brought to an end more than any of us... #3. Residents will be asked to 'verbally confront' the ‘biker hordes’ when those weekend visitors (mostly accountants, bankers, and lawyers posing in their rarely worn, stiff and shiny leathers, pretending to be ‘rebels’) arrive this summer and annoyingly begin revving up their very noisy Harley motorbikes. From now on hopefully they will be pointed at and told, "Don’t be late at the office on Monday morning". What are they going to do? Throw their man-purses at us?... #4. Caltran workers who are standing around doing nothing will not be allowed to scowl menacingly at drivers as they pass. It’s not clever, funny, or even that menacing, but it does seem to keep many of them from their work for long periods of time... And #5 – Try to remember that when driving you are surrounded by many members of the public you would not dream of interacting with in any other situation. While most are considerate and aware of their surroundings and follow driving etiquette, some are aggressive, some are rude, and some are just plain stupid. It is what it is, and I would suggest a policy of ‘smile and drive-on’ is the only way to deal with this. As my friend, the self-proclaimed wise Turkey Vulture, likes to say, ‘Trust me on this; you can thank me later’…” 

       Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… Until we talk again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace...

p.p.p.s. Hope you’re doing well, Jamal

# 310 - June 6th, 2012

       Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... News reached me a couple of weeks ago that the Valley’s police dog, Bullet, had been re-assigned and has left the Valley for good. I wanted to find out more details before sharing this information and last week spoke at length with Deputy Craig Walker. He confirmed the facts but felt that while this initially appears to be disappointing news, in the big picture it is a positive development for all involved. Walker was saddened to lose what had become a good friend and capable working companion but he had become aware that Bullet’s overly zealous strength of will would be better suited to a more experienced handler and probably a city environment. Dogs in this part of the world have to be dual-purpose dogs – ones that are adept at both drug detection and also patrol work and arresting suspects. While Bullet was excellent at the latter duty he was inconsistent with some drug detection techniques and this, coupled with his overly boisterous nature, meant that he was not a good ‘fit’ here in A.V. However, after some more training he will move on to what many of us who knew him hope will be a more suitable and rewarding environment for his particular skills and abilities. Good luck, Bullet!

       The latest news is that Deputy Walker now has a new dog – a German shepherd by the name of Argus, whose somewhat milder demeanor and solid abilities in all aspects of rural police dog work should work well in the Valley. Craig informed that their training was going very well, that he and Argus had bonded in a very short time, as had Craig’s family dogs with their new housemate, and that the duo hope to make their first official public appearance at this year’s fundraiser for A.V. Animal Rescue – PawFest 2012 on Sunday, July 15th at the A.V. Brewery. I’m sure many of you are looking forward to seeing them there. Welcome to the Valley, Argus!

       Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready... #123 – The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will return to the Valley twice more this month – tomorrow, Thursday, June 7 and also next week, June 14. They will be at the A.V. Farm Supply on Hwy 128 from 2-3.30pm on each occasion but have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time - everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen. And if you call 48 hours (462-8833) in advance you can ensure that your pet’s medical charts are brought over and you can also order any meds that may be needed… Having said all of that, there is the question of what is to become of the A.V. Farm Supply, the host venue for these much appreciated vet visits? A little bird informs me that Dave and Nancy Gowan, owners of this Valley institution for 38 years no less, will sign over that ownership to Ardzrooni Winery Management on Friday, June 8. What happens then is still not certain. It is hoped that by Monday, June 11, everything is continuing as normal, or close to it, and that most if not all of the services and products provided to so many, for so long, will be still be on offer. This would include the aforementioned vet visit on June 14. As I’ve said many times recently, let’s all cross our fingers and claws and hope for the best – after all, every self-respecting Valley surely needs its farm supply…

       More Public Service Announcements… #102 – there is gathering this Sunday, June 10 from noon to 3pm to celebrate the recently successful campaign to keep Hendy Woods open. Hendy Woods Community spokesperson, Cyd Bernstein, informs me that this will feature a potluck lunch, music from the Motherland Family Band, and information sharing… #103 - The following Tuesday, June 12, is the second Tuesday of the month and you all know what that means – Dinner and Bingo at the Senior Center. Dinner (chicken cacciatore) is served at 6pm with Bingo following at 7pm. All ages are welcome and a good time for all is guaranteed… And here are three announcements that I like to make every few months or so to make sure you have the information at your fingertips… #104 – A reminder that every Tuesday and Saturday, the A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club, is open at The Fairgrounds - on Tuesdays 1.30pm-4.30pm and Saturdays 2pm-4pm... #105 – And another reminder, and one that people always seem to appreciate, is that every Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday, the County Dump, a couple of miles out of town on Mountain View Road, is open from 9am-4pm. Remember, no dead animals!... #106 – And one last reminder – the A.V. Historical Museum at The Little Red Schoolhouse opposite the Elementary School on A.V. Way, is open every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday from 1pm to 4pm. I encourage local folks to check it out, it really is very impressive and I guarantee you will learn something you didn’t know about the Valley if you do. As I’ve said before, and I haven’t heard differently from anyone, it’s the best little museum in the West!...

       Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life... 

... There was one very satisfied customer at the 3-Dot the other day, and not just because of the generous drinks he was getting! He was also very happy with the restoration work done on a very old (200 years) family portrait that was performed by Adele Pruitt, the Conservator at Pruitt’s Fine Art Restoration in Ukiah… I saw the painting before and after and was amazed at the difference. If any of you have a similar project that you have been intending to get to, then I highly recommend that you call Adele at 462-7193 – you will be happy you did…

… Beginning this coming weekend, Paysanne, the ice cream store in Boonville, will expand its hours of business to seven days a week, 11-6 every day. This is pleasing news to many and hopefully such hours can be relied upon. There is little in life more disappointing than the expectation of some delicious ice cream being dashed either because the shop closed before it is supposed to or hasn’t yet opened for the day. To some people it’s the same feeling with pizza – and many of you will remember with great chagrin how that felt a few years ago during the days of the town’s most recent pizzeria ‘experience’…

... More missing dogs in the Valley this past week and following lengthy discussions, the regulars wanted me to pass on the need to get tags for you dogs, or better still have them micro-chipped. The tags are easy and cheap at www.tagxpress.com and all those hard working volunteers at the Animal Rescue, plus the many other animal lovers in The Valley, will certainly appreciate it… 

       I’m outta here…Until we talk again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

p.p.p.s. Have you read any good books lately, Skylark?