# 330 - October 24th, 2012

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... 

Talking of ‘sitting comfortably’, no doubt the person at PG & E who made the call to shut off the power in Boonville at 9pm last Saturday evening was doing just that at the time. Unfortunately for the restaurants/bars in town, whose staff had rushed and scrambled around to close and get out before darkness descended in the expectation that this would happen, and who were no doubt very upset to loose the Saturday night business, the outage did not happen until midnight and they could have remained open until their usual closing times. It says alot about the county-wide malaise when it comes to such agencies and the general public’s feelings about their inefficiencies, that many folks were not at all surprised, although many questioned the wisdom of making such a decision for a Saturday night in the first place…

       Moving on… Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready... #765 – The Vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital will return to the Farm Supply in the Valley once again this month – tomorrow, Thursday, Oct 25 from 2-3:30pm. If you are a previous client you can call them 48 hours in advance (462-8833) to ensure that your pet’s charts are brought ‘over the hill’ and also order any medications your pet might need. New customers and their pets are always welcome and they will be back in the Valley on three Thursdays in November… #766 – KZYX & Z Pledge Drive is from Sat, Oct 20 to Sun, Oct 28. Please give generously… #767 – It’s your best opportunity to get rid of all that ‘nasty stuff’ that you don’t want around your property all winter – the Haz Mat people are in town at the Fairgrounds parking lot from 9am-1pm on Fri/Sat, Oct 26/27. Call 895-3011 if you have any questions about what they will and will not accept… #768 – This coming Friday, Oct 26, Lauren’s Restaurant is the venue for the visit to the Valley of ‘celtic pipe rock’ band, ‘Celtica’ – featuring a bunch of Austrians, a Scotsman, and local bag-piper Wendy Rowe. The show starts at 9pm following the usual dinner hours …#769 – It’s the final Boonville Farmer’s Market of the year this coming Sat, Oct 27 from 10am to 12:30pm and will be followed by an end of season pot luck. ‘From farm to fork’ – bring your own settings… #770 - the 31st annual Chestnut Gathering is on Saturday Nov 3 at the Zeni Ranch from 10am-3:30pm, rain or shine. These 100 year-old dry-farmed European seedling chestnut trees are a testament to the sustainability of tree crops. Pick your own fresh chestnuts off the ground for $3.00/lb. Please bring: Potluck dish (re-heating oven available) and your own cup, plate, napkins and utensils. Bring your wine, fruit, nut, or vegetable harvests to show us what works for you. Call Barbara/Rob Goodell 895-3897 for further details…

       Well, with the 3-Dot Lounge undergoing refurbishment and remoddelling, I have little more to add this week and I think it’s time to take my leave… So, until we talk again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace...

      

# 329 - October 17th, 2012

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... What better place to start than to announce that it gives me great pleasure to announce Hummingbird’s birthday tomorrow (Thursday, Oct 18th). (I should just perhaps mention that, if I failed to do so, she had threatened to remove my claws one by one with some pliers. This would not only be very painful but would also result in me being unable to eat any carrion. In other words, it was a death threat). But I digress - she’s a wonderful creature – “Many, many happy returns my little piranha fish!”...

         And with birthdays in mind, let’s take that word a little more literally and talk about ‘days of our birth’ for your Quotes of the Week… Let’s start with a couple of the more somber views on the subject. This comes from the English poet Edward Young (1681–1765) - “Our birth is nothing but our death begun” – true, but let’s try to be a little more positive, Ted… How about this dose of reality from non other than The Bible, 1 Timothy, Chapter 6, Verse 7, “We brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out”…That’s all very well but let’s look on the brighter side with Gracie Allen (1895–1964) the American comedienne who became internationally famous as the zany partner and comic foil of husband George Burns, and who wittily remarked, “When I was born I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half!”… And, perhaps inevitably, let’s leave it to the Bard himself, William Shakespeare (1564-1616), widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language to call it exactly as it most likely is, with his comment, “When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools”…

       Moving on… Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready... #369 – The final Guest Chef Dinner of the year, benefiting the A.V. Senior Center, is this Friday, Oct 19, when the Guest Chef(s) will be the A.V. Brewery’s Fal Allen and friends. Fal will be serving Wild Pork Sausage, Beer-steeped Sauerkraut, German-style warm Potato Salad with bacon and onions, and for dessert it’s German Chocolate Cake made by Fraulein Loretta Houckuchen. This event will sell out but at the time of writing there are still a few tickets remaining. Call 895-3609 for details… #370 – It’s that time of year again! The U-Pick Pumpkins and Wagon Rides will be at Gowan’s Oak Tree and Fruit Stand for a second and final weekend - 11-4 on Saturday and Sunday, Oct 20/21… #369 – The Vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital will return to the Farm Supply in the Valley once again this month, on Thursday, Oct 25 from 2-3.30pm… #370 – KZYX & Z Pledge Drive is from Saturday, Oct 20 – Sunday, Oct 28. Please give generously… #371 – It’s your best opportunity to get rid of all that ‘nasty stuff’ that you don’t want around your property all winter – the Haz Mat people are in town at the Fairgrounds parking lot from 9am to 1pm on Fri/Sat, Oct 26/27. Call 895-3011 if you have any questions about what they will and will not accept… #371 – It’s the final two weeks for you to visit, enjoy, and perhaps even purchase some of the splendid local art/crafts of talented Valley folks before they close their exhibitions at the end of October. There’s the excellent wire sculptures by Ismael Sanchez currently on display at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville, while down the street at Mosswood Market, it’s the fine paintings of A.V.H.S. graduate Celestino Jimenez…

       Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life...

... As always, Homecoming was a weekend enjoyed by many Valley folks, not the least of them being a few of our regulars at the 3-Dot. Even though both the soccer and football teams lost, they each gave good accounts of them selves against very good opposition and there were many justifiably proud Panthers on the streets of Boonville on Friday evening…

… Talking of the ‘streets of Boonville’, many of you will no doubt be pleased to hear that Deputy Craig Walker is once again patrolling those ‘avenues and alleyways’ now that he has returned from an intensive training course along with ‘our’ Valley police dog, Argus. I came across them both in the Deep End on Sunday afternoon and was assured that their training had gone very well, their relationship was developing extremely successfully, and that the ‘bad guys’ had better beware – the ‘wild west’ was going to have to revert to the ‘mild west’ once again…

… Many locals are expressing their approval of the fine job being done at the property owned by Aaron Weintraub and Anne Bennett alongside the downtown Boonville firehouse. A couple of new small businesses have been there for some time and a couple more are soon to arrive in the appropriately named ‘SoBo district’ (South Boonville)…

… A wonderful time was had by all at the first Annual (?) Hendy Woods Jamboree held last Saturday at the campgrounds’ visitor center among those majestic trees. With a bountiful pot luck and enjoyable sing-a-long around the campfire, it was a very fitting end to a successful year’s work by so many folks in their efforts to keep this most special of places open to the public. On behalf of the community-at-large, may I pass on the deep gratitude that has been expressed to all the volunteers, led by Kathy Bailey, and on this occasion Janet Anderson and Deanna Apfel, for their hard work and selfless dedication in achieving this most important of goals.

... From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series - ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse’... Buzzard reports,

“If the reliable rumors prove to be correct, the CHP officer, of whom it has long been believed had a habit of writing unwarranted/false tickets, particularly on the coast but also around here on occasion, may finally be receiving some come-uppance having been caught on film giving a seat belt ticket to an innocent party. Unfortunately this fact may not be shocking to us, a ‘bad cop’ not being the most disturbing thing you will read about in today’s newspaper, and that very fact that this does not surprise but merely disappoints us, is in itself yet another sign that the Apocalypse is getting closer all the time…

       Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… So until we talk again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; with yet another warm front on its way, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace...

p.p.p.s. Skylark – enjoy your discussion and dinner this evening!

# 328 - October 10th, 2012

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Let’s start with these October Birthdays that are being celebrated in the Valley – ‘Many Happy Returns’ to Jo Gowan, Sheri Hansen, and Bobbie Tucker…

       And of course there is also the A.V.A.’s Major Contributor, Mark Scaramella, who on October 4th reached an age somewhere between 60 and 104. I was fortunate enough to attend his extravagant celebration held at the General Knowledge and Trivia Quiz that evening at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville which saw the former Captain guzzle down an unknown number of beers before wallowing in the adoration as the 43 people at the Quiz sang 'Happy Birthday.’ This hedonistic display culminated in him very confidently blowing out the candle on his ‘cake’ before waving people away as he devoured his birthday dessert as if he hadn’t eaten for a week.

       ‘The former Captain?’ I hear you say. Absolutely, and the Quiz's final question of the night was, “Which one of the following positions was once held by 'Birthday Boy' Mark Scaramella - Captain in the Coast Guard; Captain on a Cruise Ship; Captain in the Air Force; Captain in the Fire Service; or Captain on his school chess team?”

       Of the ten teams competing, four got this right – he was a Captain in the Air Force. The same number though he was the school chess team captain. Oddly, nobody chose the Cruise Ship option. Following more wildness, Mark finally scuttled out of the restaurant at about 9:15pm after his team, that included the brilliant Muriel Ellis, the competitive Terry Ryder, the brilliant, competitive, and lovely Anne Fashauer, the delightful Robyn Spector, and Ms Spector’s pleasant significant other, had won by 1 point. Clearly the evening could not have been better for the ‘guest of honor’ and I would suggest it was one of the greatest nights of his life – certainly since his days in the Air Force.

       Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready... #364 – Don’t forget, Valley dwellers, if my memory serves me right and I think back to the notice that I cannot now find, PG & E is turning of the power for many of you from 9pm this coming Saturday evening (Oct 13) until sometime early the next morning. Why a Saturday night when restaurants/bars are open and people are out having a good time? It’s PG & E, folks, not ‘the brightest streetlights in town’, in fact the same people who a coupe of years ago informed us over the radio during a power outage that they themselves were without power... #365 – The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital continue to make regular visits to the Valley and they return here tomorrow, Thursday, Oct 11, when they will be at The A.V. Farm Supply from 2pm to 3.30pm. If you are a previous client you can call them 48 hours in advance (462-8833) to ensure that your pet’s charts are brought ‘over the hill’ and also order any medications your pet might need. New customers and their pets are always welcome and they will be back in the Valley on Thursday, Oct 25… #366 – This weekend sees the A.V.H.S. sports teams in action to celebrate 2012 Homecoming. On Friday, Oct 12, at The Fairgrounds, it’s JV Football at 3:30pm, then the Varsity at 5:30pm, both playing against the ‘hated’, or perhaps the ‘very much disliked,’ Mendocino Cardinals, and finally, under the lights at 7:30pm, it’s the Boys Soccer team playing against arguably the league’s best team, Roseland University Prep from Santa Rosa… #367 – When the power goes out hopefully you will be at The Hendy Woods Jamboree that starts at 7pm or so on Saturday, Oct 13 and will feature a campfire sing-a-long with Patty Liddy, a pot luck dinner, and overnight camping. Call Janet Anderson at 895-2575 for further details… #368 – It’s that time of year again! The U-Pick Pumpkins and Wagon Rides will be at Gowan’s Oak Tree and Fruit Stand for two consecutive weekends - 11-4 on Saturdays and Sundays, Oct 13/14 and 20/21… #369 – The final Guest Chef Dinner of the year, benefiting the A.V. Senior Center, is on Friday, Oct 19 when the Guest Chef will be the A.V. Brewery’s Fal Allen and friends. Fal will be serving Wild Pork Sausage, Beer-steeped Sauerkraut, German-style warm Potato Salad with bacon and onions, and for dessert it’s German Chocolate Cake made by Fraulein Loretta Houckuchen. This event will sell out. Call 895-3609 for details…

       Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life...

… To those of you who think being the County Sheriff is all glamor – you may be right! I spoke with Sheriff Tom Allman on Saturday morning but he had little time to pick my brain for any insights as he was rushing off to judge at The World Championship Abalone Cook-Off in Fort Bragg before playing his tuba in a polka band at an Oktoberfest Celebration in the afternoon. It gets better… On Sunday lunchtime he was the bbq cook at a Public Safety Foundation Fundraiser before later in the day heading to Laytonville where he performed as the auctioneer at a fundraiser for the Humane Society. Lots of food and music, all while helping the animals - nice work if you can get it!...

... The Valley’s top men’s soccer team, Valladolid, won their league championship for the fifth time in eight years last Sunday when they defeated Fetzer 5-4 in Ukiah. The post-game celebration and season-ending awards event held at the A.V. Senior Center was a wonderful affair featuring delicious goat stew, lots of Modelo Especial cerveza, and some very funny and frequently moving speeches expressing the love and team spirit that this team clearly holds for each other, their families and their fans. It was a very special and memorable time…

… I am indebted to Eva Johnson for pointing out to me that there was no County Fair in the War years, from1942 to 1945. As a result we actually just celebrated the 82nd, not the 86th as previously stated – good to know!...  

       Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… Until we talk again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

p.p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred…

# 327 - October 3rd, 2012

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... It seems to have been a week without much news, certainly not the important stuff that regular readers rely on hearing about in this column, so I’ll get straight to the P.S.A.’s…

       Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready... #238 – The monthly Barn Sale on A.V. Way just north of Boonville, has moved to the first weekend of the month, Saturday/Sunday, Oct 6/7, open each day from 9am to 3pm… #239 – The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital continue to make regular visits to the Valley and they will be here twice in the month of October. Their next visit is Thursday, Oct 11 when they will be at The A.V. Farm Supply from 2pm to 3.30pm and they will be here again on Thursday, Oct 25… #240 – The Hendy Woods Jamboree will take place on Saturday, Oct 13 and will feature a campfire sing-a-long with Patty Liddy, pot luck dinner, and overnight camping. Call Janet at 895-2575 for further details… #241 – The final Guest Chef Dinner of the year benefiting the A.V. Senior Center is on Friday, Oct 19 when the Guest Chef will be the A.V. Brewery’s Fal Allen and friends, Fal will be serving Wild Pork Sausage, Beer-steeped Sauerkraut, German-style warm Potato Salad with bacon and onions, and for dessert it’s German Chocolate Cake made by Fraulein Loretta Houckuchen. This event will sell out. Call 895-3609 for details…

       Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life...

... Several regulars at The 3-Dot were discussing famous bar-fights in the Valley over the years and it was concluded that, apart from the odd punch thrown now and again, the full on brawls are pretty much a thing of the past when drunken men were drunken men and women and sheep were scared. Those were the days when The Boonville Lodge was well worth its ‘Bucket of Blood’ nickname. As for other ‘drinking’ establishments in town, The Hotel has seen a couple of mild incidents over the years while The Buckhorn has been the scene of several half-decent punch-ups and near-kickings, at least two of which involved a former landlord being ejected. Meanwhile, perhaps not surprisingly, apparently only one punch has ever been thrown at Lauren’s Restaurant. The victim was an inebriated former Supervisor; the perpetrator, a rational Englishman, who is now Lauren’s accountant. Wild and crazy guys those accountants…

… Rave reviews for the Elder Home fundraiser held at Libby’s Restaurant on Sunday evening. Serving two seatings of over 60 people each is no easy feat but Jose, Libby, Belma, their wonderful crew, and several ‘friends of the Elder Home’ as volunteer staff, pulled it off with barely a hitch and to enthusiastic plaudits for the delicious dinner they had prepared and presented. The early word is that about $5000 was raised and the amount needed to begin final construction on the homes dropped to below $150K…

… Some ads that were recently sent in for publication… ‘Joining nudist colony!
 Must sell washer and dryer £100’.
.. ‘Wedding dress for sale. Worn once by mistake.
 Call Stephanie’… ‘For sale by owner - complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
 Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
 No longer needed, got married, husband knows everything’...

       Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… So, until we talk again, - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace...