# 129 - September 24th, 2008

Greetings one and all…Are you sitting comfortably - then I shall begin…And what better option to start with than The Valley Quiz…I thought we’d go with a sports theme this week…Answers at the end…
1. What was the name of the now defunct Navarro adult baseball team?
2. Who is currently coaching the A.V.H.S. Football teams?
3. Who coached the school tennis team to their very successful season last semester?
Quote of the Week…In light of those unexpected yet quite heavy rain showers last Friday morning, I thought perhaps I should offer a few words of commiseration to our local farmers. This one is from nineteenth century American author, poet, and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson…”The good rain, like a bad preacher, does not know when to leave off”…Hopefully, not too much damage was done…
As I flew over Boonville on Saturday morning I was greeted by the wonderful sight of throngs of kids running around on the school playing fields. At first I couldn’t work out what was going on but then I zoomed down and on closer inspection I could see that they were involved in three soccer matches, and upon further investigation discovered that it was the first day in the Valley’s Youth Soccer schedule. With the departure of longtime administrator Adam Springwater, local soccer mums Bronwyn Hanes and Nicole McLain are running the program with help from various volunteer coaches and referees. “Good job, guys” - the enthusiasm amongst kids and parents alike was infectious and there was clearly lots of ability on view, which all bodes well for the future High School teams. The tamales and lemonade provided by “futbol madre”, Antonia Perez, were pretty good too!...Talking of High School sports, I’m sure the football teams’ first games of the season on Friday night will be covered elsewhere in this issue but I would like to point out that the fact that we have teams at all this year is due in no small part to the sterling efforts of the coaches whose names appear at the end of the column - as the answers to quiz question 2…
Heads up! It’s time for The Barn Sale once again – this coming weekend (27th/28th from 9am to 3pm) at The Big Barn behind the St. Elizabeth Seton church rectory off A.V. Way…Bargains galore, Holcomburgers on the grill, and perhaps some border collies working the sheep in the field alongside, including recent County Fair runner-up – Brenn of Yorkville – yer gotta like all that…
‘It’s The Time Of The Year To…#14 - Bare Your Breasts’...Two sightings last weekend must mean that this delightful time of year has finally arrived - a little later than usual but a welcome addition to Valley life at any time…The most recent sightings of “The Girls” were firstly provided by a well-known Bareologist in Boonville who flashed her mountainous mounds on Saturday night at The County Fair right in front of the stage to musician Dean Titus as he played his set with the Coyote Cowboys…Then, the very next afternoon, as County Sheriff Tom Allman waved to the crowds from his perch on a float in the Parade, he was confronted by two very similarly voluminous ‘Girls’ when a Fair “Exhibitor” bared her all right before his startled eyes. He tried to keep a straight face but bystanders could clearly see that he could not prevent a guilty smile…Meanwhile, don’t be bashful out there - “carpe diem” - I look forward to more sightings before this year’s ‘season’ comes to its inevitable end when the first frosts arrive…
Moving quickly on…The ‘inevitable end’ comes to us all of course and there will be a gathering at the Apple Hall in The Fairgrounds this coming Saturday (September 27th) at 1pm to remember Richard Reitz, the recently deceased husband of Amy Bloyd. It’s a potluck and flyers giving the details for this memorial event can be seen at the Valley’s post offices and other locations. Richard, by the way, seems to be doing quite well, as evidenced by his appearance, in the form of ashes in a black box adorned with The Lodge logo, with Amy, family, and friends for a drink on Thursday evening…
I’ll get my coat shall I?...Be careful out there, remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle, try to enjoy life despite the fact that living sometimes gets in the way, think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
P.S. “Hi, Silver Swan and Duck Lips, ‘Congratulations’ - a little bird tells me that you were runners-up at The Lodge Trivia Quiz contest last week!!”
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at
turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
Quiz Answers…
1. Using one of Navarro’s several nicknames, the team was called the “Iteville Clams”…
2. Panther football is being run by Head Coach Pastor Bill Nobles with assistants, Logo Tevasu and John Toohey – no doubt under the watchful eyes of Jack Graves and Woody at the Life Works group home…
3. The tennis coach is Dick Browning, who on his day could still probably take a point or two off Federer – so he tells me!!

# 128 - September 17th, 2008

Greetings one and all…Are you sitting comfortably?...Then I shall begin…My apologies for not coming up with a Valley Quiz this week – I just don’t have the space…
Talking of apologies, I must offer a retraction of a comment that I made in last week’s column concerning the new winery and tasting room shortly to open just south of Philo on Hwy.128. My investigative reporter on that story gave me false information and he will be dealt with in the usual Valley way, reserved for particularly treacherous acts, i.e. hung until nearly dead from the Hanging Tree besides the church rectory on Anderson Valley Way and then, whilst painfully weak but still aware, fed to the ravenous pigs on Ornbaun Road…
Anyway, to my point…Contrary to an assertion I made that the winery had not given jobs to local people, it turns out that Jim Ball Vineyards does in fact have five employees from the Valley, including cellar manager Alex Crangle and wife Molly. I am assured that they have worked very hard on the new winery for six months or so. I therefore apologize for the incorrect statement made last week. Furthermore, according to Crangle, the company has done their utmost to “go green” in both their construction plans and the system installed for their future operations, with special efforts being made to reduce water consumption.
Crangle writes, “From the inception of Jim Ball Vineyards the treatment of the environment during development and building has been of the utmost importance to us. In terms of the watershed, two years were spent cleaning up the landfill left on the property by its previous owners and preparing/augmenting the soil to limit sediment runoff during the first rainy season before planting. Water conservation methods were built into our vineyards and winery from day one. The vineyard is farmed organically and has been planted with rootstocks known for their drought-tolerant characteristics. To mitigate the winery's effect on the watershed, a state of the art process water handling system was installed and by the year 2010 we will be 100% solar- powered.
Hmmm…It would seem that if we must have another vineyard/winery then at least it’s a good thing that the new venture is behaving in this way…I have generally been a supporter of the current Valley winery businesses and, as regular readers will know, I do like to sip a little of the red nectar now and again. However, and with Hummingbird working in the wine world, the word ’hypocrisy’ may come to your mind, I fail to see why we need any more of them. I do know that several people are suffering from dried up wells or water pressure as low as they can ever remember...As for my comments that the companies involved with the construction are not from the Valley, Alex pointed out that the local construction companies could not attempt such a big project. I would say that if that’s the case then perhaps this was an indicator that such a project was too big; but that’s just my humble opinion and who am I to suggest to Jim Ball how he spends his $$$$?…
Reflections on the 81st County Fair from The Three-Dot Lounge, high in the hills above the Valley…No alcohol allowed at the soccer game on Friday? – the A.V. victory over Mendo needed to be celebrated in the time-honored fashion...Good corn dogs – not so good after-effects though!...Fine beer from the A.V. Brewery; not so fine alcoholic beverage called Bacardi Raz on sale alongside the Bud and Bud Lite at the Lions Club booth – nasty stuff…Some fair-goers are still not 100% convinced about the Hypnotist – consensus amongst the audience around me was running about 80-20 that she’s for real…My favorite Sam Prather Dinner yet – “help yourself, Turkey Vulture”, I was perhaps mistakenly told as I hovered over the goat ribs. They were delicious, although devouring such a large portion whilst standing just twenty feet from the baby goat corrals was a little thoughtless of me – “from the cradle to the grave”??…I missed Bitzy the Clown – I won’t lose any sleep over that though; also missed Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys – I needed to get some sleep!…Pleasing to walk round and see so many F.F.A./4-H teenagers taking pride in, and care of, their pets/livestock; not so great to see even more teenagers spending all their time on the rides and never venturing anywhere near the corrals and the other display/exhibition halls…Favorite livestock watching? – the pigs and piglets of course…Guilty pleasure - the extra-crispy, and delicious in a sickly sort of way, Kurly Fries provided complementarily to me on Friday by my “new Carnie friends” for whom I had bought a few beers on Thursday…Impressive apple hall displays and amazing quilts…The Rodeo seemed better attended than in the past and yet the Fair as a whole appeared to be a little quieter than usual…Enjoyed watching the bull-riding, but I wouldn’t want to do it - as the "politically insenstitive" commentator said, "it can be like having dinner with your ex-mother-in-law”…Overheard visitors from S.F. saying what a great event the Fair was, and how different it was from their own lifestyle and experiences just three hours away that they “might as well be in a different country”…Many Congratulations to Yorkville’s own Kevin Owens and Border Collie Brenn on their 2nd place finish in the Sheep Dog Trial…I thought it was also one of the best parades in years with the usual participants being joined by some new faces - my particular favorites were that whole entourage featuring a dancer on stilts (was that Polly Bates?) and the hula-hooping Angela DeWitt...Overall, it was certainly another wonderful Fair and long may it continue…and in case you’re wondering, my Carnie friends and I made no plans to keep in touch…
Public Service Announcements: #’s 182 and 183…It’s that time again – the Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be here to service your pet needs at Dig Landscape and Garden Supplies (formerly the A.V. Farm Supply) tomorrow - Thursday 18th at 2pm…Dig itself is now closed on Sundays but the rest of the week they’re “good to go”, as ‘they’ say, from 9 to 5…Now you know…
I’m outta here!...Be careful out there, remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle, try to stay out of the ditches, think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. “Hi, Silver Swan and Duck Lips – that wasn’t you barrel-racing was it?”
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at
turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net…

# 127 - September 10th, 2008

Greetings one and all…Are you sitting comfortably?...Then I shall begin…So, are you ready to “get your Fair on”??!! It’s that time again and the festivities get underway on Friday when the gates open at 9am with all the usual fun ‘stuff’ to see and do. That evening shall see the Apple Cup Soccer match at 7pm featuring the A.V.H.S. Boys vs. arch-rivals Mendocino – “Come on you Panthers - let’s keep the Cup here in Boonville and send the Fog-Dwelling Cardinals back to the Coast with a second successive defeat in this showpiece game!”
With The Fair as the obvious theme, here’s the Valley Quiz for this week…Answers at the end…
1. In which year did the Fair first feature Sheep Dog Trials?
2. How many Mendocino County Fairs have happened up to now?
3. How holds the record for being the longest serving Fair Manager?
One of the sponsors of the Fair is The Anderson Valley Brewery and it is with regret that I announce that Head Brewer Neil Atkins, his lovely wife Courtney, and their five-year old son Owen, have decided to move to new and different pastures on Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts where Neil will be a head brewer at The Off Shore Ale Brewery. It's sad news for their friends and a big blow to the Brewery as once again a highly valued and top quality employee has left. Why does this keep happening over there at Ken's “Castle”? I couldn’t possibly comment…
And as usual let’s have a relevant Quote of the Week…This is a little gem from the one and only Bill (William) Shakespeare, who perhaps is showing particularly keen insight to the workings at our local brew house when he says, “Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown”…
Talking of “Those who would be King”, I’m sure many of you have noticed that large sign alongside the huge development opposite Golden Eye Vineyards on Hwy.128 just south of Philo. It features the names of the construction companies that have been working on the project that will soon see the opening of yet another winery facility and tasting room. According to the sign, this blot on the landscape of the Valley is called Jim Ball Vineyards and is owned, not surprisingly, by the clearly not too modest Jim Ball of Chicago. According to the workers I spoke to he is a “nice guy” and I also learnt that he is a descendent of one of the white families who settled in the Valley during the mid 19th century - hopefully not from those who committed some of the worst atrocities against native Americans anywhere in the country – see “The Mendocino Papers – Vol. 1” by Bruce Anderson. Anyway, as for his employees on this project, a few of the companies listed are from the Ukiah/Willets/Kelseyville areas but others are from much further a-field. None of the workers I met are from the Valley and they did not know anybody who was. Some are from many, many miles away – the Chicago area in fact. It would be nice to think that before taking vast amounts of water from the Valley to help add to his already large fortune, at least Mr. Ball could have seen to it that the Valley was thanked in some way – with jobs for instance. Furthermore, isn’t a sign thanking workers from other areas a little unnecessary? Anyone would think these guys were firefighters for god’s sake! Surely Mr. Ball could have asked one of his administrative minions to pass out “Thank you’ cards instead of erecting a large gaudy sign with his own name at the top. Dear, oh dear…please pass the sick bag, Bruce…Next week in part two of “The Rich get Richer in The Valley” we feature that monstrosity opposite Breggo Cellars on Hwy.128; a.k.a. “Bill Hill’s Big Hole”…
Moving on to far more pleasant topics, once again Dave and his crew at the Navarro Store played hosts to a fine evening of entertainment last Saturday as the Live Summer Music series continued down in The Deep End. This time round it was Les Tar and The Smoke Detectors, accompanied by the excellent saxophonist Lauren Johnson, who had the dance floor filled and the beers flowing. Pablo on the grill saw to it that everyone who ate his bar-b-q enjoyed a tasty and hearty meal, and when the encore featuring a cover of The Band’s great song “The Weight” gave the crowd the opportunity to join in on the chorus, it was one of the highlights of the season…Great stuff…

Well, now I think it’s certainly time to take my leave...Enjoy the Fair, be careful out there, stay out of the ditches, remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle, think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
P.S. “Hi, Silver Swan and Duck Lips –see you on the Ferris wheel!”
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at
turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net….
Quiz Answers…
1. In 1976 – and the dogs and their handlers will be dealing with the often-irrational sheep once again at the usual time - Sunday at 10am…
2. There have been 80 Fairs since the first one in 1927, making this year’s the 81st…Actually, the first eleven Fairs were called “The Apple Show” and it was not until 1938 that the first “Mendocino County Fair and Apple Show” took place.
3. Harwood June was Manager for 19 years from 1937 to 1956, narrowly edging out Jim Clow who later served for 17 years.

# 126 - September 3rd, 2008

Greetings one and all…Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…Like many others, I was very sad to hear of the passing of everyone’s favorite “High Tech Red Neck”, Richard Reitz, last Thursday afternoon in Philo. I have seen a lot of Richard and his wife and long-time companion, Amy Bloyd-Liljeberg, over the past few years and we never failed to exchange some amusing comments over a beer or several!…Amy, along with son Eric and daughter Mea (both from her previous marriage to Mickey Bloyd), drowned their sorrows in The Boonville Lodge on Thursday night in the company of the many friends who had shown up to pass on their condolences. She seemed in fine form and surprised many with her ability to look positively to the future. She even claimed that she would outlive the next husband too! I will miss both Richard’s brevity of speech and preciseness of opinion (something that one or two others around these parts would do well to emulate on occasion), and also his tendency, when confronted by someone he could not relate to, to adopt that incredulous, curmudgeonly stare with a hint of mischievousness in his eyes, as if he was saying, “You’re not nearly as clever as you’d like to be – but that’s o.k., neither am I”…Be careful ‘up there’, Richard, and thanks for the memories…
And with this in mind, I offer you this Quote of the Week from one of my favorites, Woody Allen, “The chief problem with death is the fear that there may be no afterlife – a depressing thought, but not so bad for those who haven’t shaved. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it’s being held”…
So let’s keep with this theme for the Valley Quiz and have some questions about those who have recently gone but who are not forgotten…
1. A longtime Valley “celebrity”, firefighter, etc., etc., and fluent speaker of Boontling, was known by many old-timers as “Chipmunk”. What was his real name?...
2. More recently, the Valley suffered a loss that was felt throughout the community, but particularly amongst those who feel a greater presence of law and order is needed around here and who appreciate a good man doing a difficult job very well. Of whose passing am I talking?...
3. A man who was one of the older statesmen in a long established Valley family whose years of hard work in the apple orchards has paid off with some of the best apples anywhere - in my somewhat ‘expert’ opinion. His name is synonymous with Anderson Valley. Who was he?
Talking of things synonymous with the Valley, let’s turn to Turkey Vultures. I’m sure (?) you’d agree that it’s about time I once again shared with you some “interesting and informative” ‘Jive Turkey’…Here we go…Did you know that we have bald heads (naked red heads, to be more precise) because bits of carrion (dead meat) do not adhere to the skin as they would do to feathers? – oh, yes, we thought of everything! Just thought you should know…
Public Service Announcement #312 – The very capable and personable vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital were unable to make their monthly visit to Dig Landscape and Garden Supplies (formerly A.V. Farm Supply) in August so they have announced that they will be here twice this month. Their first visit is on Thursday, September 4th (tomorrow!) and then again in two weeks on September 18th. They usually arrive around 2pm and stay for approximately two hours so if you have any pet needs or issues then I suggest you grab the opportunity to save yourself a trip ‘over the hill’ to Ukiah and at the same time support their efforts in providing this excellent service.
My roving investigative reporter, The Balding Eagle, files this report from the front lines at the Battle of Trivia at The Boonville Lodge last week…”A team calling themselves ‘Wilted Faces” were big favorites to win the Quiz this week. The team featured former “Fresh Faces” - Terry Ryder, Mother Muriel, and The Bobcat, a team that had won on several occasions, including the previous week. On this occasion they were joined by the A.V.A.’s Supremo Bruce Anderson and Major Scaramella – an unbeatable line-up you may think? Wrong! The Jubs of Comptche, along with Maria G, and The Thomas Boys of Ornbaun Road and Beyond edged out the “Wilted Faces” by one point. What went wrong for The Faces? The only difference from the previous week’s winning line-up was the addition of the A.V.A. “Brain-trust” – surely you’re not thinking what I’m thinking?!?!”...
Ooops, I’d better get my coat - I think it’s time to take my leave...Be careful out there, remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle, try to enjoy life despite the fact that living sometimes gets in the way, think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at
turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net… And before you get too ‘down and dirty’, try to remember – we Turkey Vultures are Nature’s Garbage Collectors - an honorable profession, even if I do say so myself…
P.S. “Hi, Silver Swan and Duck Lips – have a drink for me!”
Quiz Answers…
1. Bob Glover, a true Valley person through and through…
2. Deputy Scott Nordin’s passing was hard on his friends and family and has still not been addressed by the powers-that-be with regards to the safety and well-being of the community at-large…
3. George Gowan passed a couple of years ago and what I remember most about his memorial was the number of stories shared about him by friends, neighbors, and the many, many Gowans in attendance…