# 508 - 27th April, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    What kind of new businesses do we need in Anderson Valley? It’s a  question that gets asked quite often around here, and to which over recent years the answers have usually been such establishments as a bank, a tasteful motel, a pharmacy, a dry cleaners, a bookstore, a carwash, a pizzeria, and my own personal choice, a lingerie shop. With that in mind, I can inform you that, from long-johns to lingerie, boxers to bras, the world’s largest museum exhibition of undergarments opens today at the Victoria & Albert Museum in London. Tracing the evolution of the most intimate attire from the 1750s onward, “Undressed: A Brief History of Underwear” uncovers even more than you might expect. Butt-lifters, crotch-enhancers and corsets tell the story of how natural assets have been coaxed into physical ideals, many of which have not changed much over time. The exhibition demonstrates the human appreciation for function, form and even fetish. In brief, it’s all very revealing and if anyone is planning a visit to England this summer I urge them to visit the exhibit - far more interesting than Buckingham Palace…
    It is clearly a slow news week as all of the above is obviously a very transparent way of including a bunch of underwear/lingerie comments for your Quotes of the Week… “I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear” - Woody Allen… “Underwear makes me uncomfortable and besides my parts have to breathe” - Jean Harlow… “This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me” - Rodney Dangerfield… “I don't always wear underwear. When I'm in the heat, especially, I can't wear it. Like, if I'm wearing a flower dress, why do I have to wear underwear?” - Naomi Campbell… “When my father came over here penniless with $100 sewn into his underwear, thank God some well-meaning liberal didn't come put his arm around him and say, 'Let me take care of you’.” - Ted Cruz… “You can tell a lot about a person from his underwear” - Rachel Bilson… “Wearing underwear on the outside of your clothes can turn a tedious trip to the store for a forgotten carton of milk into an amusement park romp” - Patch Adams… “I just happen to have one of those skill sets that allows me to work in my underwear” - Garry Trudeau… “I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me” - Emo Philips… “From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first” - Bertolt Brecht… “Without editors planning assignments and copy editors fixing mistakes, journalists quickly deteriorate into underwear guys writing their columns from their den” - George Vecsey… It’s as if he has been watching me!…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #487 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have one more visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. That’s tomorrow, Thursday, April 28 and then next month they will be over this way on just one occasion - on Thursday, May 19… #488 - The 20th A.V. Beer Festival takes place this coming Saturday, April 30, from 1-6pm at The Fairgrounds in Boonville. Tickets are $45 prepaid or $60 on the day. Of course I shall be getting my usual $5 non-drinking ticket… #489 - With a strange and, for many of us, unfortunate sense of timing, the very next morning, May 1 at 10am, it’s the 34th running of the Boontling Classic. The 5K (3-mile) race starts and finishes at the Anderson Valley Elementary School and race day registration will begin at the School at 8.30am. Alternatively, registration forms are available by calling or emailing race director Mike ‘Flick’ McDonald at 707-621-2701 or flick@mcn.org.… #490 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, May 3. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #491 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…    
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, April 28, the lunch, always served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Pizza: Cheese, Pepperoni, & Veggie with Cookies and Cream Cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, May 3, the lunch will feature Meat Loaf and Mashed potatoes, with Birthday Cupcakes for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week! Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond
… High School Soccer Coach Steve Sparks reports back after his comments in last week’s column… “Following a confusing few days of decision-making regarding the significantly damaged high school soccer field, which was as a result of the strange mistake of deciding to mow the field when it was wet (and carried out with equipment unfamiliar to the user), the powers-that-be at the school managed to ‘do the right thing.’ Instead of going with their initial idea of ripping the field up and re-seeding it, a process that would probably not have worked - certainly not in the timeframe required, they simply rolled it and rolled it - as many folks had suggested. It worked and the field appears to have survived and should recover well… This can now result in the Junior High team completing their season on a proper pitch; the High School team being able to practice in the summer and begin their fall season on a good field, along with the youth soccer program; and also, perhaps a return of the adult soccer team to its home field - assuming the aforementioned powers-that-be and the team’s officials can reach an agreement on what is expected of the team so that its ban for fighting last year can be expunged… Yes, I am very pleased to say that soccer is once again alive and well in the Valley”…
… Along with several 3-Dot regulars, I enjoyed a few hours at The 2nd Annual A.V. Goat Festival held last Saturday afternoon among the redwoods at The Fairgrounds… Numbers were disappointing - about 200 - but those in attendance were treated to a fine Goat Parade, won by Jinny Reynolds and her three goats from Redwood Valley; the Celebrity Goat-milking that was won by Fire Chief Andres Avila who narrowly beat out former Elementary School Principal Donna Pierson-Pugh and Captain ‘Nine Fingers’ Rainbow; the Goat-calling, won by a youngster by the name of Garnet; and the excellent Birria competition (Mexican (Jalisco) spicy goat stew) which saw last year’s runner-up, The Redwood Drive-In, return to take the title this time round… Well done to all those who made this event happen and we’ll do it again in 2017…
… Mendocino Crime Watch… … A cement mixer collided with a prison van on Highway 101 near Hopland. Motorists are asked to be on the look-out for 16 hardened criminals…
… A number of curmudgeonly Three-Dot regulars came up with some rarely followed pieces of advice that seem to have become less important for the younger generation to adhere to… Little children should be seen and not heard… Don’t do as I do, do as I say… Don’t eat with your mouth open… Don’t talk with your mouth full… Put your hand over your mouth when you cough… Say your ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’s’… No means No… The list goes on…

        I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home”… And until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time… May your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…

# 507 - 20th April, 2016

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… Let’s go straight to the Public Service Announcements…
    Calendars and pens at the ready… #543 - There is a second Barn Sale this month, as there will be in every month through the summer. It will take place this coming weekend, Saturday/Sunday, April 23/24, from 9am-3pm at The Big Barn next to the St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have one more visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. That’s on Thursday, April 28 and then next month they will be over this way on just one occasion - on Thursday, May 19… #545 - The Unity Club’s annual Wildflower Show will take place this weekend, Saturday/Sunday, April 23/24 with the 2nd Annual Goat Festival on the Saturday. This will all take place at the Mendocino County Fairgrounds in Boonville and Goat Fest will feature a full day of Family Fun, Goat Education, and Goat Celebration plus such fun events as ‘Best Dressed Goat’ contest, a ‘Goat Milking Competition,’ and a Birria (goat stew) Cook-Off. For more information go to avgoats@gmail.com; or Facebook at Anderson Valley Goat Fest; or call King Goat, Jim Devine, at (707) 496-8725… #546 - On Saturday, April 23, it’s the Open Mic at Lauren's Restaurant in downtown Boonville. Dinner served 5 to 9 before the Open mic starts at 9 pm. All are welcome - musicians, singers, poets, writers, impressionists, magicians, comedians, actors, fire-eaters, pole dancers, sword swallowers, ventriloquists, raconteurs, exotic dancers, animal callers, etc. No clowns - apparently they would scare any kids who might be there, and no mimes, please - they scare almost everyone else! For more information call 895-3869… #547 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday thru’ April, at its winter venue outside The Boonville General Store from 10.30am-1pm. For more info call Cindy at 895-2949… #548 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by - you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #549 - The A.V. Lending Library, run by The Unity Club, is open at The Fairgrounds on Tuesdays 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm… #550 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!  The new ‘Dump Guy’ is Mike Mannix, adding his name to a salubrious group of folks who have previously held that position. The number for the Dump is 895-3569 and double-checking first to see that they are open is probably well worth the small effort. F.Y.I., the Recycling Center in Boonville at The Fairgrounds’ parking lot is open Wednesday -Saturday, 9-4pm (489-2033)… #551 - Heads-up for Saturday, April 30, when the 25th Annual Anderson Valley Beer Festival will take place at the Fairgrounds in Boonville… It’s also the day of the Caspar Ukulele Festival…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, April 21, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Chicken Picata with pasta and Chocolate Reveal Bars for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, April 25 at 6pm, the meal will feature a Roast Beef Dinner and Strawberry Lemon Squares for dessert. As this is the 4th Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bunco at 7pm. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… Mendocino Crime Watch…  After a series of crimes in the Willits area, Sheriff Tom Allman has announced that he is looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn't find him, he's fully prepared to go ahead and use both eyes…
… It was a gloomy High School Boys’ Soccer Coach Steve Sparks who stopped by the Three-Dot on Friday lunchtime having just been told that the school soccer field - “ the best in the league” - will have to be torn up and re-seeded in the next few weeks. Coach Sparks explained, “For inexplicable reasons, following the heavy rain a few weeks ago the soccer field was mowed with new equipment which the user was unfamiliar with, and as a result significant damage has been caused. It is very disappointing indeed and the knee-jerk reaction of a ‘Plan A’ idea of tilling and re-seeding will impact the current junior high season, the summer practices for the high school team and their season that follows, youth soccer, and possibly the adult league team(s) that were hoping to play there. This should never have occurred and the powers-that-be are surely not going to simply tear it up and re-seed without seeking professional advice on how to repair the field. I also hope that the school will be forthright and open in sharing both with those affected directly and the community beyond what options are available to guarantee that this happens”… Monday morning update… Steve reports, “Thankfully there has been a change of thought. I do not know how this came about but the aforementioned ‘Plan A’ has been shelved. Today (Monday, April 18) the field will be treated with a heavy roller in the hope that this will repair the ruts created by the mower. That seems like a very sensible idea to me and many others. If this works the field will be saved and soccer can resume. If it fails, then the decision-makers will hopefully continue to look at options that are better than Plan A. Fingers and toes crossed”…
… Three-Dot regulars came up with some frequently less heard or rarely followed pieces of advice that used to be important for the younger generation to adhere to… Little children should be seen and not heard… Don’t do as I do, do as I say… Don’t eat with your mouth open… Put your hand over your mouth when you cough… Say your ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’s’… Take responsibility for your actions… No means No… The list goes on…
… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “Bruce Springsteen has cancelled a concert in North Carolina, joining business groups in condemning a state law that rolls back protection for gay and transgender people. Ringo Starr has also cancelled a concert while Cyndi Lauper is continuing with her gig but this will focus on increasing the awareness of the harm being done by the new legislation. There have also been calls for the 2017 NBA All-Star Game to be taken away from the state. These are just some examples of the fallout from this discriminatory law and there have been many protests around the state itself. The law has invalidated several local anti-discrimination measures that protected gay and transgender people. It also requires people to use public toilets that correspond to the sex listed on their birth certificates. Governor Pat McCrory, a Republican, defended the law, calling it "common sense,” while some supporters of the law said allowing transgender people to choose their restroom could lead to women and children being attacked… Oh, please! What nonsense. There have been more crimes committed in public restrooms by members of the U.S. House of Representatives than by transgender people and this step backwards by yet another southern State is one very good example of the Apocalypse fast approaching…”

        I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday… On the sheep, Grace… Keep on humming, Hummingbird… 

# 506 - 13th April, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    The Unpresidential Race for the Presidency: Chapter 7 - Satan is from Texas… Perhaps I have been remiss in that my recent comments about The Donald and his controversial campaign for the Presidency have resulted in the devil incarnate, Ted Cruz, escaping my Turkey Vulture wrath, rhyme, and reason. Let me address that… ‘TrusTed’ not only looks demonic, his comments and manner of speaking on many issues seem to me to suggest he is indeed possessed by a monstrous mix of Satan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, the Evil One, and Old Nick too… Ted Cruz is no doubt every bit as vile, bigoted and hateful as Trump. None of his peers appear to like him - surely not a good quality… He’s not as big of a blowhard as The Donald, but then Trump is not a narrow-minded evangelical conservative like Cruz. ’Pastor’ Ted’s strategy rests on mobilizing alienated conservatives, in particular the millions of white evangelical Christians who, his team believes, can swing elections when they are galvanized to vote. Conversely his appeal to moderates is limited. Furthermore, he has had little to say to or about the poor. and his flagship economic policy is a regressive flat-rate income tax of 10%. Black Americans, Mexican Americans, gay Americans, anyone concerned about climate change (which he denies) or a woman’s right to choose, and non-Christians should all look elsewhere to place their vote. Cruz demonstrates little more interest in foreign alliances than he does in domestic ones; the only foreign leader he name-checks approvingly is Israel’s right-wing autocratic leader Binyamin Netanyahu. He evinces an unholy relish for “carpet-bombing” Islamic State and ‘making the desert glow,’ with little regard for the consequences or the innocent victims of ‘collateral damage.’ However, for some, perhaps the biggest reason for hoping he does not become President is that, according to those close to him, Cruz is a Texan “from his head to his boots” - seems like a good reason to me…Speaking of his boots, his lucky pair are made of ostrich skin - not the ‘presidential' look required when attending summits with other world leaders, unless of course the Brits arrive in bowler hats with umbrellas tucked under their arms, the French in berets on bicycles, the Muslim leaders in burqas (even if they are men), and the Germans goose-step into the meeting precisely on time… Onward…
   
    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #486 and #487 - Two busy weekends are approaching - on Saturday/Sunday, April 23/24 its the annual Wildflower Show presented by the Unity Club, with the 2nd Annual Goat Festival taking place alongside on the Saturday afternoon; and then the following weekend, on Saturday, April 30, it’s the 25th Annual Anderson Valley Beer Festival. Both events will take place at the Fairgrounds in Boonville… #488 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, on two occasions this month - the first of these is tomorrow, April 14 and then again in two weeks, on April 28. They are there from 2-3.30pm and to avoid a line perhaps go around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!… #489 - As  mentioned last week, the ‘Second Wednesday Drumming Circle’ will be taking place at The Grange tonight, Wednesday, April 13 from 7-9pm. To confirm, perhaps call Andy at 895-3020…#490 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, April 19. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #491 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’… #492 - The Food Bank is open from 8-10am on the 3rd Tuesday of each month - which is next Tuesday, April 19. Starting this month, they will also be open the Monday evening before (April 18) from 4-6pm. Gardeners, farmers and produce growers of all kinds, remember to donate your extra produce and drop it off on the Monday behind the Boonville Methodist Church. If you need someone to glean your produce to take to the Food Bank, contact Valerie Kim at valerie.h.kim@gmail.com. Denisse Mattei is the Food Bank director. You can reach her at 895-3763…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, April 14, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Stir Fry Chicken with Strawberry Short Cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, March 19, the lunch will feature Salisbury Steak with Noodles, plus Cherry Crisp for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week! Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… What a marvelous gesture! A local benefactor has stepped in and donated over $3500 so that the high school soccer program can replace their old dilapidated goals and nets with much-needed new ones. The successful program (five postseason titles in the last six years) was in danger of having to forfeit games in the fall if this vital but expensive equipment had not been replaced and it looked like money was not forthcoming from anywhere. Many people do not have the big hearts to match their bank balances but those that do are so important in communities like ours and we are very fortunate to have quite a few of them who live in and support the Valley…
… Hummingbird and I made our first visit to the ‘new’ Aquarelle and thoroughly enjoyed the delicious meal and a more informal and relaxed ambience than the previous version… With Chef Christina’s undoubted culinary expertise and host Satoru’s excellent front-of-house skills this well-located establishment should have a very busy summer… I certainly hope so…
… I often hear Valley people comment that too many Valley functions happen on the same night and folks frequently have to make a difficult choice. With this in mind, and as someone who spends what some miserable bastards might think is an unhealthy amount of time on the Valley ‘scene’ in one way or another, may I suggest that the event planners for our various restaurants, bars, organizations, and institutions start thinking about Friday evenings as a good night for their functions. You’re probably thinking ‘what is the Turkey Vulture smoking/drinking?’ But my ‘research’ shows that, apart from Tuesdays which, with few exceptions, has always been the slow night of the week in the hospitality business, the most under-utilized evening of the week for Valley events is, very surprisingly, Friday. Strange but true, and perhaps something to be aware of in your future planning… Just trying to help…

    I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Tired of relaxing yet, Round-eyed Robin?

# 505 - 6th April, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    The Unpresidential Race for the Presidency… Hillary Clinton is more popular than The Donald with general election voters according to ‘reputable polls.’ However, those same polls also reflect that she still has the highest unfavorable rating - 53% - of any Democratic candidate in the past 30 years. To many, she fails the basic trust and likability tests. Antipathy towards the political class, containing ‘professional’ (in a derogatory sense) politicians like Clinton and a number of the Republican candidates, explains the rise of protest candidates like Trump and Bernie Sanders - who is a career politician but hardly a man of the establishment. The billionaire Trump has risen to the top of a shallow Republican talent pool. The best that the GOP establishment could come up with - Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, Chris Christie and John Kasich - managed between them to win only three contests, in Minnesota and Puerto Rico (Rubio) and Ohio (Kasich). However, whether they are products of the establishment or protest candidates like Trump and Sanders, rarely have those running for high office been held in such low esteem. So with polls repeatedly suggesting that both Clinton and Trump are viewed unfavorably by a majority of Americans, with historically unprecedented negative ratings, America is heading towards a ‘lesser of two evils’ style of presidential election. Such a great country deserves so much more…

    So with that in mind, let’s have some comments on leadership for your Quotes of the Week… As a woman and head of a continuously embattled Israeli, former leader Golda Meir had many vital decisions on issues that one may not wish the likes of Trump to face. She wisely observed “A leader who doesn’t hesitate before he sends his nation into battle is not fit to be a leader”… And for a second relevant quote, I turn to the Bible and Matthew 15:14, “If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch”… It’s up to you…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready…
… #479 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, on two occasions this month - on April 14 and 28… #480 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday thru’ April, at its winter venue outside The Boonville General Store from 10.30am-1pm. For more info call Cindy at 895-2949… #481 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by - you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this…#482 - The A.V. Lending Library, run by The Unity Club, is open at The Fairgrounds on Tuesdays 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm… #483 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!  The new ‘Dump Guy’ is Mike Mannix, adding his name to a salubrious group of folks who have previously held that position. The number for the Dump is 895-3569 and checking first to see that they are open is probably well worth the small effort. F.Y.I., the Recycling Center in Boonville at The Fairgrounds’ parking lot is open Wednesday -Saturday, 9-4pm (489-2033)… #484 - I am led to believe that the ‘Second Wednesday Drumming Circle’ will be taking place at The Grange on Wednesday, April 13, from 7-9pm. To confirm, perhaps call Andy at 895-3020… #485 - The Anderson Valley Grange is having its regular second Sunday Pancake Breakfast on April 10 from 8:30-11am. Prices range from $5-10 - kids through hungry folks, for a delicious, locally-sourced breakfast. Choices include pancakes (gluten free available, gluten extra is not served), eggs, and bacon, with a choice of juice, tea or coffee included… #486 and #487 - Two busy weekends are approaching - on Saturday/Sunday, April 23/24 its the annual Wildflower Show presented by the Unity Club, with the 2nd Annual Goat Festival taking place on that Saturday afternoon; and then the following weekend, on Saturday, April 30, it’s the 25th Annual Anderson Valley Beer Festival… Both events will take place at the Fairgrounds in Boonville…

    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, April 7, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Chicken Alfredo and Pasta with Chocolate Amaretto for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, April 12 at 6pm, the dinner will feature Ham and 
Twice-baked potatoes, with Banana Split Cake for dessert…
All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week! As this is the 2nd Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bingo at 7pm… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 
    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… Mendocino Crime Watch… Sheriff Tom Allman announced at the weekend that he wishes to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly panties, but District Attorney C. David Eyster has insisted that the  Sheriff must wear his regular uniform…
… Many regulars, and none more so than myself, continue to be puzzled and perplexed with regards to the trend to serve Shepherd’s Pie with beef inside? Sometimes it’s Turkey?? And even Elk??!!… What is the world coming to? It’s Shepherd’s Pie - the name gives a huge clue that it is lamb which should be featured, along with various vegetables that must include peas, onions, and carrots, plus creamy mashed potatoes on top of course, in what can be a delicious taste-bud tantalizing and stomach-satisfying dish… Trust me on this - you can thank me later… Incidentally, a similar dish does have beef, but with puff pastry on top instead of mashed potatoes. This is called Cottage Pie by the cognoscenti among us… Seems like the ideal time to share the old classic - Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood… You can laugh now…
… Sunday was a truly beautiful day in the Valley… As I meandered along Highway 128 from Boonville to The Nest, a flight of about fifteen miles, I could not help but think that, with a couple of pints of Guinness inside me, Hummingbird waiting to greet me, and a delicious ‘proper’ Shepherd’s Pie’ in the oven, it really does not get much better than this…
… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse’… Buzzard reports, “I have nothing of any interest to anyone to say at this point”… Why can’t more folks be like that?...

        I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird… Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday… On the sheep, Grace…
p.p.p.s.Just time to re-remind those who think badly of us that a fellow by the name of Charles Darwin said about Turkey Vultures, “A disgusting bird whose bald scarlet head is formed to wallow in putridity” – Thanks for the compliment, kind sir…