# 477 - 23rd September, 2015

   Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…  This week let’s start with our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, and his report on last weekend’s County Fair held in Boonville for the 88th year…
    Buzzard reports, “I should point out that this is far from a complete review of events at this year’s Fair - perhaps that has been done elsewhere in the newspaper by a ‘proper’ journalist? This is more of a scatterbrained report of what I can actually remember. Here we go… Despite widespread fears, only two local girls, now college graduates in fact, ran off with the carnies at this year’s Fair and both were back at work on Tuesday morning, neither of whom were the worse for wear for their experience. I say this because the carnies are ok. They just get a little lonely sometimes and so a little female company at the end of a hard day working on the The Gravitron, The Wheel of Fire, and The Zipper is always nice. However, three local boys did ‘run away with the fair’ and have not returned. They will no doubt be having the times of their lives for the foreseeable future. I feel I should support the carnies and protest their unfortunate reputation because I know that Turkey Vulture himself was a carnie at one point in his life and he has ensured me several times over a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey that he is a fine upstanding citizen around these parts… Yes, I have heard many of his tales of when he worked the bumper cars on the famous boardwalk in Asbury Park, New Jersey, during the summer of 1980 - the debauchery and the craziness - T.V. will tell you that it was the making of him!… But I digress, back to the Fair… Many folks shared with me their thoughts on the various food on offer at this year’s event.  Darrell’s various sausages and grilled onions along with the cheeseburgers from the A.V. Volunteer Firefighter folks were tied at the top of the list I would say, just beating out the teriyaki chicken-on-a-stick; several folks said that the pizza and the baskets of Kurly Fries (about the size of the average newborn child) were better than expected, and the corn dogs impressed many folks, particularly the bacon-wrapped jalapeño variety – not a bad way to die, I thought, as I watched Turkey Vulture devour his 17th one – a new Fair record by the way…
    “I observed, and was involved in, the very social drinking by Valley folks in and around the Lions Club ‘Bar’ where there was lots of meeting and greeting of old friends and familiar faces... Unfortunately, there was no beer available to folks who wanted to watch the high school football game in the main arena. Apparently ‘we can’t have the beer near to the kids’ - a change that was introduced a few years ago after a single complaint was received, thus ending a tradition of many years standing. As if the kids do not see beer and wine being sipped at other times. Is it that hard to work out? Just don’t serve the kids - what is the problem here?... On a related topic, for those many folks who wondered why there was no Coors Lite available anywhere, the answered is that the working relationship with the Budweiser people has been good one for several years and it is not worth changing for an insignificant amount of extra money that Coors may, or may not, offer. From a personal standpoint I don’t think there is much to choose between Coors Lite and Bud Lite anyway, but it just so happens that the former has been in vogue in recent times amongst many Valley beer-drinking folks and hence their desire to see Coors Lite at the Fair…
    “I enjoyed a Saturday evening of strolling around the livestock enclosures where I observed some wonderfully presented and cared for animals – particularly the pigs and sheep – I’ve never seen such large and well-kept yearling ewes… Many people were pleased that the Parade of Champions was finally moved back one hour this year to 7pm on Saturday – a time when many more folks are around so we get the ‘Best in Fair’ winners parading in front of the bigger audience they deserve… I heard that County Sheriff Tom Allman was there to meet-and-greet on Saturday afternoon in the Redwood Grove. A person who chatted with him informed me that he was prepared to be once again bamboozled, or is it bamboobled, by the Large-breasted Boonville Flasher. She has done this to him on a number of occasions and when I spoke to her earlier, her reasoning was quite simple, ‘I think Sheriff Tom understands by now – it’s what I do!’… Finally Fair Manager Jim Brown’s sense late on Monday morning, before any actual numerical count had been taken, was that numbers were down a little overall once again this year, with Friday definitely down, Saturday up, and Sunday down a little too... He also reported that everything went very smoothly, there were no significant problems for the sheriff’s deputies, and everyone who was involved with the organizing and presentation had done a great job… I had to agree and it seemed to me that everyone there was having a wonderful time and on their behalf may I be so bold as to thank all of those concerned for their hard work in putting together “The Best Little Fair in the West”...

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be visiting the Valley on one more occasion this month - that’s tomorrow, Thursday, September 24, at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. Their next visit is some way off after that - not until Thursday, October 29… #545 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday at the Boonville Hotel, from 10am-12:30 pm, featuring locally grown and produced vegetables, herbs, fruit and meat, as well as crafts, knife and tool sharpening some weeks, and music and conversation every week. For more info, call Cindy at 895-2949… #546 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open at The Fairgrounds in Boonville on Tuesdays from 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays from 2-4pm… #547 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!…
    As a bonus P.S.A., here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, September 24, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Sesame Chicken and Wendy’s Oatmeal cookies for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, September 29, the lunch will feature Short Ribs, with Mudslide for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!  Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… Back to the Fair… It was pointed out by several 3-Dot old-timers that Eva Holcomb has the record for most Fairs attended: 77 - yes, seventy-seven!!! She has not missed one since first attending as a four year old in 1938. Surely at this point Eva eats, drinks, and goes on as many rides as she likes – all for free of course!…
… ‘Schadenfreude’ is defined as ‘pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.’This word is taken from German and literally means "harm-joy". It is the feeling of joy or pleasure when one sees another fail or suffer misfortune. An English term of similar meaning (but with no noun equivalent) is "to gloat”, which means ‘to feel, or express, great, often malicious, pleasure, or self-satisfaction, at one's own success, or at another's failure’…. To my point… Last week, when Hummingbird was overtaken by a dangerously driven red pick-up truck doing about 50mph at least as she passed through the heart of Philo’s 30mph section, she was furious at such driving, knowing that it could have easily have led to a serious accident… However, several minutes later, as she approached Boonville on Hwy 128, there at the side of the road was that same red pick-up - pulled over by a C.H.P. officer and the driver receiving a ticket - no doubt for speeding. She could not help herself - she tooted her horn and waved in a perfect moment of schadenfreude… Sometimes life is perfectly fair…
… You should be aware that a betting pool has started amongst 3-Dot regulars to see who can correctly guess the number of tourists in the month of September whom I spot on my travels pulled off on to the shoulder of Hwy 128 between Boonville and Navarro feverishly picking raspberries. Bonus points are available to those who also guess the number who are in a thicket of poison oak as they unsuspectingly gather their goodies…

    Now it’s time to take my leave as I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, ‘take me drunk, I’m home,’ and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…

# 476 - 16th September, 2015

   Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… With The County Fair taking place this coming weekend, I would like to remind some of you, particularly the younger generation, that it is not all about the carnival rides and looking cool with your date – important though such pastimes certainly are. Try to also check out the various display halls featuring arts, crafts, agriculture, etc, along with the impressive livestock corrals, the traditional rodeo, and the always-exciting sheep dog trials. This Fair is a really unique event and one of a dying breed, so why not broaden your horizons and enjoy everything ‘The Best Little Fair in the West’ has to offer? In my humble opinion, that would be cool too…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be visiting the Valley on one more occasion this month - that’s next Thursday, September 24 at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo… #545 - There’s Karaoke at The Buckhorn tonight, Wednesday, September 16. The show is hosted by Sarah Songbird Larkin of The Real Sarahs and it runs from 9pm until close… #546 - And we have Open Mic at Lauren's Restaurant, also in downtown Boonville, this coming Saturday, September 19. Dinner is served from 5-9pm with the Open Mic starting at 9pm. All styles and expressions welcome - well almost all. Info at 707 895-3869… #547 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, September 22. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #867 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week at the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, September 17, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Steak Pizzola with Root Beer Floats for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, September 22 at 6pm, the dinner will feature Fish & Chips and Lemon Bars for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!  Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
... Let’s start with some intriguing questions that were raised by Three-Dot regulars about this weekend’s County Fair... Will the attendance be an increase on the last couple of year’s slightly down numbers?... Will the A.V. Brewery’s former Supreme Leader, Ken Allen, last place finisher in the unofficial A.V. Mayor’s election five or so years ago, turn up and for old times sake jump to the front of the line upon his arrival at the Sam Prather Dinner on Saturday night?... Will the Varsity Football team put a ‘big hurt’ on Mendocino High in The Apple Bowl?... Can Yorkville’s Gel and his handler/shepherd Kevin Owens bring the County Fair Title back to the Valley at Sunday morning’s Sheep Dog Trial? (Kevin and wonder dog Bren won two successive years in 2012 and 2013)… Will Pickles the Clown scare any small children?... Will any teenage girls run off with a Carny?... Will any local school boys run off and become a Carny?... Will the corn dogs be as good, unhealthy, and diarrhea-inducing as ever?... Will I win the Carrion-Eating Contest for the tenth year in succession?... All this, and possibly more, will be revealed at The Mendocino County Fair and Apple Show this coming weekend, September 18-20…
… On the topic of what will be revealed at the Fair, there will be a special appearance by County Sheriff Tom Allman at The Fair on Saturday, September 19 at 3.30pm in the Redwood Grove. He will be relaxing in the sunshine, meeting-and-greeting, prepared to answer questions folks may have or accept any ‘advice’ they may wish to pass on… However, if the  Large-breasted Boonville Flasher turns up, the same one who has revealed her enormous orbs to the Sheriff on previous occasions, Tom may have to make a quick exit before he finds himself in some compromising and undoubtedly soon-to-be viral photographs …
… It’s been a ‘war zone’ once again in the Christine Woods region of the Valley, and quite possibly other places too. Following the early spring offensive by the frost-protecting helicopters, I am now referring to another annoying practice adopted by the wineries - in this case it is the use of ‘bombs’ to get rid of gophers. Or perhaps it is their use of ‘bird bangers’ that duplicate gunfire to ward off birds from pecking at the grapes. Either way, and I suspect it to be the former, this latest offensive by the wineries is well underway. The ‘bombs’ are gas explosives inserted in the burrows which are supposed to kill gophers with concussion. Some experts believe this really isn’t very effective, and can cause fires and damage pipes. Given the fact that winery folks are not entirely sure of the actual impact gophers have on vines, I can assure them that the impact of their ‘bombing raids’ in the dawn hours and often through the mornings, are most annoying to many nearby residents… I would like to believe that these comments, ones that incidentally do represent the feelings and thoughts of the many other Valley folks who are awakened by the ‘bombing raids’ and then repeatedly taken aback at each ensuing explosion, will result in the winery bigwigs scrambling to come up with a different technique to rid themselves of the gophers, one that will not upset their neighbors… Or is my faith in human nature misplaced and naive?…
… … On a lighter note, from our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “On my travels through the Valley recently I stopped by at a local store and witnessed the following interchange. A customer had just walked out forgetting a bag of his purchases and upon his return to collect this from the clearly amused cashier he sheepishly said, ‘And I’m not even stoned.’ The next customer in line, with a wide grin on her face, said ‘I’m not stoned either.’ At which point the cashier commented, “Well, neither am I.” Now while this is obviously not a sign of the Apocalypse’s approach, it is certainly a sign of our times and a undoubtedly an accurate slice of Valley life that is led by some folks around here…”

    Well now I think it’s time to take our leave - besides I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, that’s enough, “take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday… On the sheep, Grace… Keep on humming, Hummingbird…

# 475 - 9th September, 2015

   Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… We have a very significant birthday celebration coming up this weekend here in Anderson Valley. Our community’s oldest man, Ross Murray, will be turning 97 years of age. Yes, Ross was born on 16th September, 1918! (The oldest resident in the Valley is Freda Fox who turned 97 back in March). In recognition of this wonderful occasion, the Elder Home is hosting a gathering on Saturday, September 12th from 1pm - 4pm at the ElderHome side-lawn area at which cake and refreshments will be provided. Friends of Ross are welcome…
    On a related note, and not intended to refer to Ross in any way (particularly as I expect to celebrate with him on his 100th in 2018), there will be the second in a series of group discussions entitled ‘Preparation for the Rest of our Lives’ at Lauren’s Restaurant on Sunday, September 13th at 4.30pm. Deliberation on life and end-of-life
is invariably put on hold by many of us and having observed first hand the results of what avoiding such discourse can have, I urge folks to think seriously about attending. The group, led by Lauren and others, wish to get community feedback to enable them to offer a community based educational program that addresses the needs and concerns of folks when it comes to these issues. Topics will include creating options for living with autonomy, dignity, and joy as we age, advance directives, estate planning, hospice and palliative care, etc.
   
    So, on a closely related topic, and to bring a little levity to the column, let’s have a few Quotes of the Week that come under the topic of ‘The Afterlife’… First, here’s an unsettling observation from the poet John Keats, who said “Is there another life? Shall I awake and find all this a dream? There must be, we cannot be created just for this sort of suffering”… And who can lighten the mood on this better than Woody Allen, who remarked “The chief problem about death is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it’s being held”… Russian author Leo Tolstoy made an observation that will upset some folks when he wisely said “Never did Christ utter a single word attesting to a personal resurrection and a life beyond the grave”… But let’s leave it to one of my favorite wise men, Mark Twain, to sum it up with his comment “Heaven for the climate; hell for the society”… See you down below, Mr T…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready…
    #304 - There will be an A.V. High School All-Year Reunion at the Senior Center in the Veterans Hall during the upcoming County Fair. This special event will be on Saturday, September 19th from 1-6pm… #305 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be visiting the Valley on two occasions this month - that’s Thursdays, September 10 (tomorrow!) and 24 at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo… #306 - The A.V. Lending Library, run by The Unity Club, is open Tuesdays from 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm at The Fairgrounds in Boonville… #307 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!… #308 - The Anderson Valley Grange is having its regular second Sunday Pancake Breakfast on August 9 from 8:30-11am. Prices range from $5-$10 - kids through hungry folks, for a delicious, locally-sourced breakfast. Choices include pancakes (gluten free available; gluten extra is not - somewhat discriminatory one has to say), eggs, and bacon, with a choice of juice, tea or coffee included… #309 - For those wondering, or even wandering, there will be no ‘Second Wednesday’ drumming circles at The Grange until October… #310 - Karaoke will take place as usual on the third Wednesday at The Buckhorn, Booknville at 9pm - that’s next week, September 16… #311- The Food Bank is open on the 3rd Tuesday, September 15 - gardeners, farmers and produce growers of all kinds, remember to donate your extra produce. It will be greatly appreciated. Please drop off on the Monday before, behind the Boonville Methodist Church.  If you need someone to glean your produce to take to the Food Bank, contact Valerie Kim at valerie.h.kim@gmail.com. Denisse Mattei is the Food Bank director. You can reach her at 895-3763…  #312 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday at the Boonville Hotel, 10am-12:30 pm, featuring locally grown and produced vegetables, herbs, fruit and meat, as well as crafts. You will also find knife and tool sharpening some weeks, music and conversation every week, plus other featured events throughout the summer and fall. For more info, call Cindy at 895-2949…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, September 10, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be BBQ Ribs, with Strawberry Whip for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, September 15, the lunch will feature Tostadas – Chicken or Beef, and Apple Crisp
for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!  Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
…… There was an important discussion held a least week’s School Board meeting on what the school district’s new school menu should and should not consist of. Many local people, including some Three-Dot regulars, have not been satisfied with the new ideas that have been introduced since school started a couple of week’s ago and showed up at this meeting, adorned in all-for-one black, to debate this issue… There was a good turnout and hopefully, for student health reasons, the much-criticized pre-packaged stuff will not be served up for much longer - not to mention the fact that those used package wrappers are unsightly around the campus where I am informed many seem to be ending up… High School Principal and new School District Superintendent, Michelle Hutchins, has had a good run in terms of winning the general public’s support since arriving in the Valley two years ago - deservedly so, I would suggest. This issue would seem to be her first community ‘hiccup’ as it were, so let’s not be too quick to judge. She may have stumbled a little on this one but I am sure she has the best interest of the students and the school in mind as this issue develops…
… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “I have been writing this series for several years and last week we came the closest yet to the Apocalypse when ‘The Big Outage’ hit the Valley and beyond. Internet and cell phone services went out throughout the county and as a result grown men were heard crying, women observed tearing their hair out, high school students spotted self-consciously indulging in face-to-face conversations with each other, and Facebook users were at a loss as to whom they could share the news about the ‘awesome ham sandwich’ they had just enjoyed… On a more serous note, the 911 system was down and services at hospitals, pharmacies, etc, were impaired… It was always going to be this way. For all the usefulness that the internet and cellphones provide, we are so reliant on them that when they stop functioning, many people, including myself, are at a loss and verging on mild panic. Undoubtedly this anxiety will approach hysteria if an outage lasted for  a few days or more. It will not be a pretty sight I am sure - but then the Apocalypse never is…”

    Thanks for the comforting words, Buzzard… Well now I think it’s time to take our leave - besides I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, that’s enough for now, “take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Keep up the good work, Round-eyed Robin…

# 474 - 2nd September, 2015

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    Labor Day weekend is virtually upon us and whilst it’s not the ‘Mother of All Holidays’ (that is obviously Thanksgiving), it is still a pretty good one as we celebrate the economic and social achievements of workers. Labor Day has its origins in the labor union movement, specifically the eight-hour day movement, which advocated eight hours for work, eight hours for recreation, and eight hours for rest – seems about fair, although personally I continue to question the eight hours for work part. To me it also means that the kids are back in school where they belong and up here at The Nest it signifies a weekend overflowing with the old classics - fried chicken, hamburgers, corn dogs, coleslaw, potato salad, lemonade, corn on the cob, baked beans and sliced tomatoes. Finish up with sliced watermelon, apple pie, and freshly churned ice cream... Oh, and a few sips of beer and wine too of course - it would be un-workmanlike not to...
    So perhaps inevitably, for your Quote of the Week, I offer these words about ‘work’ from French writer, historian, philosopher, and wit, Voltaire, who said “Work spares us from three great evils – boredom, vice, and need.”... That’s all very well but, in my humble opinion, Oscar Wilde was far more perceptive with his remark, “Work is the curse of the drinking classes”... Enjoy your weekend!...

   
    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #862 - The wonderful electric blues harmonica player Charlie Musselwhite returns to the Valley this Saturday, September 5 when he plays at The Navarro Amphitheater at 6pm. We do not get enough quality music around here so it’s a chance to see and hear one of the greats on our doorstep. The opening act at 3pm is the always entertaining Black Horse Blues Band and with BBQ Grill Master Guy Kephart putting the heat to the meat all afternoon, it is destined to be a tremendous afternoon in the Deep End - hope to see you there… #863 - The 25th Annual Yorkville Ice Cream Social takes place on Labor Day - Monday, September 7. The party kicks off at noon and runs until 5pm. All proceeds go to support the Yorkville Volunteer Fire Station, maintain the Community Center building and provide scholarships for our high schools seniors and regular attendees will know it’s one of the best Valley events of the year and not to be missed… #864 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be visiting the Valley on two occasions this next month - that’s Thursdays, September 10 and 24 at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo from 2pm until 3.30pm… #865 - The Barn Sale returns on the first weekend of the month - that’s this coming Saturday and Sunday, September 5 and 6 from 9am-3pm at The Big Barn next to the St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville … #866 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, September 8. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #867 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week at the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, September 3, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Lime Cilantro Chicken with Buried Treasure Cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, September 8 at 6pm, the dinner will feature a Rosemary Pork Dinner and Carmel Apple Cake for dessert. As this is the 2nd Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bingo at 7pm… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!  Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… It just seems somehow wrong to mention the recent passing of Donna Reilly at this point in the column but many Three-Dot regulars wanted me too. Surely a woman of her standing should lead off the newspaper’s front page! However, Donna was never one to grasp the limelight despite the fact that she was one of our more deserving residents of such acclaim, and I’m sure a mention here in the Three-Dot report would have suited her down-to-earth side. I say this because having had many interesting and informative conversations with her I would suggest she was one of our most discerning citizens on many levels. She was an erudite, charming, wise, knowledgeable, no-nonsense woman with great integrity and class; a person who had an inherent and profound sense of right and wrong, and one who took responsibility for her actions and was always prepared to be accountable for her comments and reactions. I also found her to be kind, thoughtful, and supportive, and even when correcting me for my inevitable indiscretions and faux pas, she did it in a calm, warm, and comforting way. Yes, Donna Reilly was certainly ‘old school’, in all the good ways, and it is a sad state of affairs that we don’t have more of her kind on the horizon and heading this way… She will be missed…
… Such folks would surely not let the recent events surrounding the Valley’s soccer scene develop… A.V. High School Boys Soccer Coach, Steve Sparks, now in his 13th season with the program, dropped in at the Three-Dot to share this unfortunate development… “A couple of months ago, the three adult soccer league teams in the Valley, each featuring many former high school soccer players, were banned from playing the remainder of their home games here at the high school field. This comes as a result of a fight that one of the teams was responsible for during one of their Sunday matches at the school field, and which led to some unruly behavior and the police being called. That particular team should quite rightly be punished in some way, preferably by deducting points, suspending guilty players, and, as in most leagues, some fines being levied. However, the other two teams were not involved and to impose this punitive penalty seems very harsh, particularly on them, with all three teams now having to travel all over the region every single Sunday to play their matches… The decision to ban the teams has resulted in effects far more widespread in the community that just among the soccer players, and possibly will have greater repercussions than the the folks who have made the decision actually realize at this time. It is most certainly not ‘just a game of soccer’… The Mexican community makes up more than 50% of the Valley population and almost the entire rosters of all three teams. One of their big passions, and an intrinsic part of their communal life, in fact the tie that binds many of them together, is watching soccer being played by their loved ones and friends every Sunday here at the school field. Parents, children, grandparents, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends - all come out for the community event as these matches are not just about the soccer, or fútbol as the Mexicans call it. These gatherings are an integral part of the Mexican culture, the depth and complexity of which many Valley folks, through no fault of their own, are generally unaware of. I would suggest that those involved in making the decision are among that sector of our residents. I have spoken to many people in our Valley’s Mexicans community since the decision was made and it is clear that this issue, and its ramifications, have created some bad feelings and ill-will and, while the decision, guided by law enforcement, is understandable up to a point, perhaps, with more forethought, alternative resolutions might have been considered and less divisive actions taken… They still can be…”
… Talking of disappointment, several Three-Dot regulars inform me that they are feeling somewhat disgruntled that the A.V. Farm Supply is without alfalfa hay once again. They hope the store stocks up soon so that this most desirable of livestock food can be bought locally, not just for the convenience but also to support an important local business. Going ‘over the hill’ to Ukiah to get this feed is not a desirable alternative on any level…
… Other than that, according to some, everyone and everything in the Valley is ‘very nice’… I would say much is far better than that; and some is considerably less… Keep it real…

    Now I’m outta here as I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So that’s enough for now, “take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday… On the sheep, Grace… Keep on humming, Hummingbird…