# 206 - April 28th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... With the summer approaching and The Valley ‘getting its groove on’ as some might say, let’s get straight down to business with the latest Public Service Announcements...
#64 – The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital are making their monthly visit to the Valley tomorrow (April 29th) and I urge you to support this wonderful service for your pets’ needs. They will be here for a couple of hours at the A.V. Farm Supply from 2pm onwards. And while you’re there, maybe show a little support for the Farm Supply itself – remember, buying local makes you feel good... #65 – They’re back! Yes, this Saturday (May 1st) sees the return to the parking lot of the Boonville Hotel of the Boonville Farmer’s Market. It runs from 9.45am to noon and for ‘Opening Day’ there will a special spring plant sale. So before you go out to wildly celebrate ‘International Workers’ Day’, I suggest you do a little produce and plant buying in town... #66 – The next day, Sunday, May 2nd, it’s the annual Boontling Classic 5K Footrace. Register from 8.30am for the race that starts at 10am from the A.V. Elementary School. I’ll be the Vulture in the Hanging Tree on A.V. Way exhaustedly watching you run by as I nibble on a few scraps of fresh carrion. Enjoy!... #67 – And finally a quick reminder that the A.V. Lending Library, run by the ladies and women of The A.V. Unity Club, is open every Tuesday (1.30pm – 4.30pm) and Saturday (2pm – 4pm) at The Fairgrounds in Boonville. I encourage you to check it out and suggest you do not believe the Chinese Communist Leader Mao Tse-Tung who once stated, “To read too many books is harmful.” One can only assume he’d been drinking a few too many Tsingtao beers when he uttered that gibberish...
Speaking of drinking beers, I just wanted to give you an update on the Valley bar scene. I should point out, for the umpteenth time (although I haven’t mentioned this topic for at least two or three weeks), that we still have two buildings in town, The Buckhorn Building and The Boonville Lodge location, either of which would make a perfectly good bar/restaurant. The owners may not wish to have such a place on their property, and that is their prerogative of course, although if such a community-minded venture does not happen soon, I fear that the Valley will inevitably continue along the road to Ghost Town and all local businesses will feel the effect. Hopefully someone is moving behind the scenes to secure the valuable and currently available liquor license from Tom Towey (formerly of the Lodge); someone who has plans to keep it in the Valley by negotiating at either of these buildings or perhaps somewhere else of their choosing – if such a venue can be found. It certainly would seem that the biggest obstacle by far is the lack of a building in which to place that license – an issue that many of the Valley’s ‘bar experts and business entrepreneurs’ continue to evaluate, so I am reliably informed. At some point, Tom, who would much prefer the license to stay local, will sell to the best offer wherever in the County that may come from, and one cannot blame him. If the license leaves the Valley it may be a long, long time before it comes back... Meanwhile, with summer almost upon us, I am keenly aware of many Valley folks who eagerly await the time when someone with the necessary drive and resources, and the Valley’s best interests at heart, steps up and does the ‘right thing’. After all, a fun night out drinking a pint or two of beer, or a couple of glasses of wine, sipping a cocktail, nibbling on some spicy chicken wings or devouring a juicy burger and fries, and enjoying a lively and stimulating conversation with friends and family in a bar setting, is a relatively simple combination that is surely not too much to ask for...
Talking of small businesses in the downtown Boonville area, I am delighted to hear that we will soon have a new-and-used bookstore for the bibliophiles amongst us to indulge our tendencies. It will be located between the ‘Pick and Pay’ and ‘Mosswood Market’ in what is known as Tom Town at the space recently vacated by the A.V. Land Trust. New businesswoman Loretta Houck (the very significant other of KZYX &Z’s erudite presenter W Dan) plans to open around May 21st and I encourage you all think twice before going online to Amazon/Powell’s/Google etc, etc for your book needs and to get down to ‘Laughing Dog Books’ and support Loretta in her new venture...
‘Out and About on the Town’... I stopped by at The Fairgrounds and took a peek in at The Unity Club’s Annual Wildflower Show on Saturday afternoon and was informed by the ladies on the door, Sue Davies and Eileen Pronsolino that over 123 people had already visited. I purchased some raffle tickets and walked around, enjoying the company of various Unity Club Members such as Robyn Harper, Miriam Martinez, Alice Bonner, Valerie Hannelt, Heather Schoeneman, Barbara Scott, and Gloria Abbott... Unfortunately I was unable to get to The Cops and Robbers Ball at The Grange later that evening so I have no report as to the goings-on there, but I hope it went well and plenty of money was raised for KZYX & Z, the local public radio station... And finally on the social scene for this past week, I did get back into town on Sunday afternoon to visit the monthly Barn Sale. As usual, I was greeted by the idyllic rural Valley scene of bargains galore, burgers on the grill by the Mendoza’s, all sorts of Valley folks paying a visit, and shepherds, sheepdogs, and sheep in the adjacent field getting a good workout in the warm midday sun. All that was missing was a cold beer. Oops, what’s this I see in the cooler? It ended up being a perfect afternoon.
Talking of that “perfect afternoon” in the country, for the Quote of the Week, let me refer you to the British poet and hymn composer, William Cowper, who wisely observed that, “God made the country and man made the town.” I must say that it certainly seemed as if I was in God’s country when hanging out on Sunday afternoon just north of Boonville...
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave, I have to see a man about a sheep... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Poking and stroking, and as always, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 205 - April 21st, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Along with about fifty players and perhaps seventy spectators, I attended the A.V. High School Alumni Basketball tournament last Saturday evening in Boonville at the gym. Of the three games played, the big draw was that between the ‘Legends of 86-92’ and the current High School team. After several lead changes, in what was a very competitive game, the youngsters came out on top by just two points, although some Legends claimed with some justification that the scorekeeper had made a couple of errors in favor of the opposition. Anyway, the ‘old guys’ gave a fine account of themselves and hopefully this will become an annual event, although the feeling in the crowd was that ‘Legends’ will need to get back to their original uniforms if they are to truly live up to their name...
Talking of sports, this week’s Quote of the Week goes as follows – “Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence; in other words it is war minus the shooting.” These cynical comments come from George Orwell (‘1984’, ‘Animal Farm’), who clearly spent far more time on social commentary than participating in sports. And furthermore, while the Legends’ game at the Alumni tournament certainly had a little ‘edge’ to it, Mr. Orwell was obviously never around a successful Panther team – coached to be honorable in victory and noble in defeat.
O.K. then, let’s get straight to the Public Service Announcements for what is a very full week ahead ... #143 – This Saturday, April 24th from 7pm to midnight, sees a costume party to benefit public radio station KZYX & Z at the Grange. It’s a ‘Cops and Robbers Ball’ so the ‘dress-up’ possibilities are endless, and hopefully will include one or two female ‘law enforcements officers’ with handcuffs who will be there to arrest a very naughty Vulture. Dancing to the sounds of The Peanut Butter and Jam Band is encouraged and the Master of Ceremonies is someone who I think goes by the name of Corporal Raindrop... #144 – The Unity Club’s Garden Section present their annual Wild Flower Show this weekend (April 24th/25th) at The Fairgrounds in Boonville. The show goes from 9am to 4pm each day, it’s free, and there will be quite a selection of plants, books, and home-cooked treats for sale, with all profits going to school student scholarships... #145 – The Barn Sale is also this coming weekend at The Big Barn between A.V. Way and Hwy 128 (enter via the church refectory driveway on A.V. Way). It runs from 9am to about 3pm on both Saturday and Sunday with burgers served off the grill from 11am to 2pm courtesy of grill master Ephron Mendosa. As I have said many times before – ‘bargains and burgers – it doesn’t get much better than that’... #146 – This month’s Senior Center dinner is next Tuesday, April 27th and you will be pleased to hear that a guest cook has been invited this time round. It’s Natalie Matson (formerly of One Horse Espresso) who, with help from Candy Slotte, will be presenting her special enchiladas for this event and I personally can attest to their deliciousness. Dinner is served at 6pm and all are welcome... #147 – Finally this week, a heads-up for the visit of the Vet to the Valley. The guys from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be coming to The A.V. Farm Supply at 2pm next week on Thursday, April 29th. Final details in next week’s column...
Details are also needed with regards to the $15million-plus required by the upcoming School Bond issue, something that most of you will be aware of, I’m sure. Or maybe not. I have to say that I’m not seeing the groundswell of support that such an important topic might be expected to evoke in our community. The bond calls for $60 for each $100,000 of the assessed value (not actual value necessarily) of your property as it appears on your property tax notice. For example, this would mean a payment of $300 on a property assessed at $500,000. Hopefully those pushing this bond will get out and about amongst the community in the upcoming weeks, meeting the voters and explaining what it will provide in detail, and what will happen if the bond does not pass. I have seen Donna Pierson-Pugh, elementary school principal, out in town pushing this on one occasion but I’ve also heard from many locals that apart from one letter from the school they have seen or heard virtually nothing since on this issue. What’s the hold-up? Why aren’t we being bombarded with information and encouragement to vote for this vital issue? The vote is less than two months away...
I just want what is best for the school; the hub of our community, and this issue needs to be passed. Enough already - I’ll get my coat and leave... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 204 - April 14th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin...They’re back! No, I’m not referring to the delightful blossoms on the apple trees; nor to the buttercups and daisies scattered around the hillsides; nor the newborn lambs prancing in the pastures; not even to the sound of the metal bats of the high school baseball team crushing balls into outfields and beyond; no, folks, I’m talking about something that, unlike these bucolic sounds of the Valley in late spring, is not welcomed at this time of year – the ridiculously loud, freeze-protecting fans used by certain wineries in the middle of the night!
Valley dwellers who have seen us close-up will be aware that Turkey Vultures need their beauty sleep more than most so when, at 2.30am last Friday morning, the deafening noise started up and then continued for five hours or so, I was ready to peck the eyes out of any winery owner I could get my claws on. This would have been a little unfair as there are just one or two culprits at this point, to my knowledge, but for those average working folks living in the Christine Woods/Floodgate area of the Valley just trying to get a good night’s sleep, one or two ‘bad guys’ is definitely more than enough to make it virtually impossible to do so. Did I use the word ‘deafening’ yet? Good, because that what it is. “Like helicopters in our driveway” is one description I have heard from those living close by!
I’ve been reliably informed that there are fans which are much quieter although more expensive. So why haven’t they been installed? Or have I answered my own question? This sort of noise pollution is particularly short-sighted and selfish and it goes without saying, although I’ll say it, that the absentee owners of wineries in this Valley wouldn’t put up with it if they ever had to spend a night in its midst. Instead they get to sleep soundly through the night in their mansions and ivory towers many miles from here. There could be several more nights of this abomination still to come for local folks to endure, but what do those people care? It’s shameful, that’s what it is.
Not for the first time I turn to Mark Twain for our Quote of the Week and with the topic of ‘shame’ cropping up why not go with his classic, “Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.” Are you listening in Napa? Please pass me the sick bag, Bruce...
On a more positive note I feel it is time to once again mention the wonderful attitude and service one invariably gets when visiting the post office in Philo. Joe, Sheila, and Anne are always a pleasure to see and never fail to offer a smile and a cheerful ‘Hi’ every time a customer walks in. They are a credit to their profession and their demeanor is always welcoming, which is unlike my experiences in some post offices I could name...
This week’s big sporting event in the Valley will be the Alumni Basketball tournament that’s taking place at the school gym on Saturday evening. Four teams will compete, each representing a different era of A.V.H.S. hoops, and the hottest ticket, particularly among some ‘lady vultures’ I know, is for the rumored appearance of the late80’s/early90’s team in contemporary uniforms. No surprise there - short shorts and high tube socks on a grown man is always going to be a big draw. Good on them, I say, it’s all for a good cause and hopefully a good crowd will show up to enjoy this feast of Panther basketball history.
Talking of Valley history, this month is the time to celebrate the birthdays of these seniors in the Valley - Robert Fowler, Tom Burger, Linda Stewart, and Charmian Blattner – congratulations, well done so far, and may you each have many more! And talking of Seniors, they and all concerned at the Senior Center welcome you one and all to the Bingo Night and Spaghetti Dinner that will be held at the Veterans Building on Tuesday, May 11th, the first in what is hoped will be a regular event on the second Tuesday of every month. Bingo and spaghetti - yer gotta like that!
Public Service Announcements.... #91 – The Grange Groove will be taking place this coming Friday, April 16th from 7.30pm to 10pm at The Grange on Hwy 128. With music by D.J. Pete and lighting and effects courtesy of the indefatigable Cruncher, what’s not to like?... #92 – As a precursor to the Annual A.V. Wildflower Show coming up on April 24th and 25th, this Saturday, April 17th at 1pm sees the Wildflower Walk organized by the Land Trust. Call 895-3150 for details... #93 - Those of you thinking of joining The A.V. Grange should go for it this month when membership is free! The all-important meeting will be held at 7pm on Tuesday, April 20th at, where else, The Grange!... #94 – Not so much an announcement as a warning: check your propane gas bills and make sure the gas company you use has not suddenly hiked up your price in the last couple of months. I am told its something they have been known to do as your usage goes down and their revenue stream begins to be affected. I just thought you should know...
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave as I have to see a man about a sheep... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – nice to see you last Friday evening, even if it was just for a brief, carefree wave across a room full of diners...

# 203 - April 7th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Aaagghh! Having looked forward all week to buying some goodies at the Bake Sale held last Saturday morning at Lemons Philo Market, I completely forgot to go. Curses! Never mind, I’m sure a generous and kind-hearted soul out there can drop off a little something (Huckleberry Pie preferably) for a hungry Turkey Vulture at the usual address – The Nest, Anderson Valley. I would suggest dropping it off at the A.V.A. office but, knowing the characters that lurk thereabouts, it would be very unlikely if the pie were to make it beyond the grubby, clasping hands of such unscrupulous people...
Meanwhile, with regards to my obviously poor short-term memory, as a very appropriate Quote of the Week here’s a few words of wisdom from American novelist and essayist, Joan Didion, “We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget”... And my particular all-time favorite on this subject from the wonderfully funny mind of Groucho Marx who said, “I never forget a face, but I’ll make an exception in your case.” Certainly a line I like to use as often as possible on my travels...
On to this week’s Public Service Announcements.... #216 - A friendly reminder that the A.V. Museum – “The Best Little Museum in the West” – located at the Little Red Schoolhouse Building on Hwy 128 by the Elementary School is open every Friday and at weekends from 1pm to 4pm. Remember, the history of Anderson Valley is full of fascinating stories, artifacts, and true heroes, great and small, all worth your visit... #217 – There will be Winemakers Dinner a week from today (April 14th) at The Boonville Hotel to benefit the A.V. Housing Association. It starts at 6.30pm and will cost you $125 for your dinner and wine. For those who have some disposable income and the inclination to enjoy some of the fineries of life it is a fair price by all accounts, particularly given the cause. Contact Sheila at 895-3525 for further information... #218 – Recently I have been remiss in not mentioning one of my favorite weekly events here in the Valley – a County Dump visit! You can drop off trash and recycling up there a mile or so out of Boonville on Mountain View Road on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and weekends from 9am to 4pm. Remember, ‘No Dead Animals’ so please leave those to me and my buddies – nature’s finest garbage collectors...
Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... Regulars at The 3-Dot inform me that the sale of the A.V. Brewery has finally gone through and the new ownership is installed with promises to the staff that all will remain the same - hopefully not another example of empty corporate promises. Does this mean that ‘King’ Ken Allen has departed these parts? Not yet, I’m told, as apparently he is to be an ‘employee’ for the next four months during the transition period, during which time the annual Boonville Beer Festival will take place (May 8th). Perhaps now we peasants will go to the Brewery Visitor Center without fear of retribution and be greeted by the even richer ‘deposed King’ before sitting down to enjoy a conciliatory pint or two with the old bugger! I’ll have a pint of Poleeko Gold, please, Ken – obviously you’re buying...
... A little bird turned up at the Lounge and informed us that starting in May there will be a Bingo Evening at the Veterans Building in Boonville that will continue to be held on the 2nd Tuesday of every month thereafter. These fun evenings will not only have prizes for the winners but will also benefit the Senior Center and you are encouraged to attend the special dinner served prior to the evening’s activities. More details to follow, although I can tell you the first session will be on Tuesday, May 11th – please mark it on your calendar...
... Due to unforeseen circumstances (torrential rain/hangover) I was unable to attend the Sunday morning Pancake Breakfast/Easter Egg Hunt put on at the Apple Hall and Fairgrounds in Boonville by the Lions Club to benefit the A.V. Teen Center. However, Hummingbird was on hand at the event and swung by The 3-Dot to let us know that despite the atrocious weather there was a good crowd and the Lions themselves were out in force, working hard to ensure it all went well. Many thanks to all these volunteer Lions - Judy Long, Olie Ericksen, Candy and Ed Slotte, Derek Wyant, Nicole Johnson, Joanie Clark, Willie Housley, Patty Liddy, Kevin Lee, Frank Wyant, and Bob Sites. (The rumor that Bob did more eating than cooking cannot be confirmed).
Finally this week, I should inform you that I did show up at The Grange for the Dan Hamburg campaign fundraiser (Mendocino 5th District Supervisor) featuring up-and-coming comedian Mo Mandel. I should add at this point that I am unable to endorse any of the four Candidates as Turkey Vultures are still not allowed to vote in this county - ridiculous, I know... Regardless, it was a good show by Mo, a Boonville boy born out of the loins of Benna Kolinsky and Danny Mandelbaum – two people who feature prominently in their boy’s act, somewhat to their consternation I would imagine, although they are currently vacationing in China and can temporarily avoid any embarrassing ‘repercussions’ until their return! I have been to hundreds of comedy shows over the years, mainly in San Francisco, and can declare that Mo is good; he may well go very far in fact. His act is certainly not aimed at the kids and it was refreshing to be able to have an adult evening in town – finally! I sometimes think the whole Valley social scene is based around shows for/by the kids (not that there is anything wrong with that on occasions of course) and wonder whatever happened to an evening of adult discussion/humor/banter without interruption from ‘the little people.’ May be it’s just me. But I digress... Anyway, Mo’s humor was caustic, contemporary, and cutting-edge; the audience responded well; the Hamburg camp would have been pleased with the turnout; and if only the lovely and vivacious bartender had not poured me such large servings of beer then I would have made it to the Pancake breakfast!
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net