# 241 - December 29th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Happy New Year! In a couple of days it’s the amateur party-go’ers Big Night Out of the Year – New Year’s Eve! That’s fine of course but I encourage others to try and enjoy the festivities too, and wherever and with whomever they may find themselves, if someone is behaving badly to just smile and walk away – you know it makes sense...
In a week with little news to report on up here at The Nest, or from my travels out and about in the Valley that were somewhat restricted by the holidays and the weather, I thought that I’d do something a little different. So, for your Quote of the Week, what about some quips, comments, and downright abuse of newspapers? I’m sure none of these would be aimed at a newspaper as high-minded as The A.V.A. but knowing the machinations of some lesser principled organs of the press, the following words would appear to be very wise indeed... First let’s go with Charles Dickens’ vicious comment that newspapers are “so filthy and bestial that no honest man would admit one into his house for a water-closet doormat”... And almost as damning are the words of author Norman Mailer who said, “Once a newspaper touches a story, the facts are lost forever, even to the protagonists”... Then there is George Orwell who adds to the abuse with the comment, “Early in life I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper”...
On the other side of the discussion, whilst “newspapers should have no friends” (Joseph Pulitzer), in the defense of such rare newspapers such as the A.V.A. – ‘America’s Last Newspaper’, I offer you the comment by somebody you would perhaps not particularly wish to see on your side in any discussion about ethics and morals – former Chicago Mayor (1955 – 1976), Richard J. Daly, who commented, “A newspaper is the lowest thing there is!” I think newspapers would generally take that as a compliment considering the source... But perhaps the most positive comment about newspapers is that by Thomas Jefferson, who would have been an avid A.V.A. reader in his day I am sure, who said, “Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.” Thanks for your support Thomas; I think that might have guaranteed you a free subscription...
Public Service Announcements… #21 – Lauren’s New Year’s Eve Party will feature Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys and a good crowd is expected featuring all sorts of Valley people, plus those who will have been to Boonberry Bert’s annual sushi party earlier in the evening... #22 – For many Valley folks of perhaps a different ilk, then The Boonville Saloon will have a party on the same night and this will probably be a sort of alumni gathering for large numbers of the A.V.H.S. grads of 1970 to 2005 and their families and friends... I hope to see many of you at both of these traditional Valley gatherings to welcome in the New Year... #23 - Another heads-up for the upcoming Crab Feeds that will take place in the New Year and for which tickets are now selling like hotcakes. The first ‘Feed’ will benefit the Senior Center and takes place on Saturday, January 15th - you can call Gina Pardini for tickets at 895-3609 or pick them up at any one of these Valley outlets – Lemons’ Market in Philo, Laughing Dog Books, All that Good Stuff, or The Fairground Office in Boonville, or at the Yorkville Market... Then it is the ‘Original’ Crab Feed on Saturday, February 5th for which, for now, you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071 or Eva Holcomb at 895-3307...
Finally this week, here is a list (probably not complete and for that I apologize) of those Valley folk who have gone but who are most certainly not forgotten. The following Valley people have passed away in the last fifteen months or so but they are fondly remembered by many of us who remain...
Guido Pronsolino. Bob Mathias. Dustin Dilley. Dick Sands. JoAnne Wyant, Elwin Maxey, Bea Coffman, Andy Abbott, Tom Smith, Patricia ‘Pat’ Erickson, Warren ‘Skip’ Harris, Ava Glover, Laurie Howes, Charmian Blattner, Peter C. Boudoures, Carroll Pratt, Free Lovelight Starseed Dreamchaser ‘Derek’ Hanes, David Broadbent, Thomas Berger...
Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… May your dreams come true for 2011... Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. Keep the Faith...
p.p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 240 - December 22nd, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... So here we are once again – the holiday season and the end of yet another year just around the corner. What happened to 2010? It was just beginning and now it’s about to end. It would appear that, just like many others, I was just too busy living it to really enjoy it. That’s too bad and a lesson to be learned...
First up it’s Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzai or whatever, and all of the razzamatazz, hype, and pressure that this event smothers so many with. Every year it seems to get more frantic. However, up here at The Nest we plan to have a relatively calm and very relaxing few days. In fact, let’s be honest, ultimately this is only really for a couple of groups of people. As a result of spending many Christmas holidays in San Francisco as the only straight fellow on a construction crew of five, I feel that I can state with a degree of authority that Christmas is primarily for the enjoyment of gay men (they have the best Xmas parties) and children (for all the obvious reasons). Not that there is anything wrong with this of course... Meanwhile, if you’re out Xmas shopping try to remember that I’m an XXL; otherwise fresh carrion is always good...
Searching for a last minute Christmas gift idea? Look no further... Crab Feed tickets are now available. The first of these will benefit the Senior Center and takes place on Saturday, January 15th - you can call Gina Pardini for tickets at 895-3609. Then it is the ‘Original’ Crab Feed on Saturday, February 5th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071 or Eva Holcomb at 895-3307... Both events are at The Apple Hall in Boonville and are two of the best Valley gatherings of the year; trust me on this, you can thank me later...
And for an appropriate Quote of the Week, let me refer you to this observation by one of the greatest of all Americans - Benjamin Franklin, who said, “How many observe Christ’s birthday! How few, his precepts! Oh! ‘Tis easier to keep holidays than commandments.” Yes, Ben, it would appear that it certainly is, but, as you uttered those words back in the 1700’s, it would seem things were the same back then as they are today. That’s surprising. After all, in matters of piety and social behavior, I always assume things were so much more ‘civilized’ back then. I don’t feel so bad knowing that maybe they weren’t...
Public Service Announcements… #21: Useful numbers at this time of year - for road conditions and closures call 1-800-gas-road (427-7623) and for power problems and outages call 1-800-PGE (743)-5000. I just thought you should know… #22 – The Quiz at Lauren’s Restaurant will take place tomorrow, Dec 23rd at 7pm. Yes, it is near to Christmas, but if you’re going to be hunkered down at home with loved ones for two or three days then perhaps a night out in the Valley, sipping beer and wine, enjoying a tasty meal, and exercising the mind, would be ideal preparation... #23 – An early ‘heads-up’ for the 5th Annual A.V. Film Festival that will take place at The Grange over the weekend of January 28th-30th. The program is as eclectic as ever and will include films in tribute to the late Tony Curtis (‘Some like it Hot’) and Dennis Hopper (‘Easy Rider’), some excellent documentaries, romance-with-a-twist movies, and the usual assortment of socially aware and environmental films, plus the recent work of the A.V.H.S. Film Class. More details can be found on the website which will be updated soon, I am reliable informed, and when that happens I shall give you the address...
Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley...
... Dog lovers at The 3-Dot were both excited and yet concerned at the news that the female Border collie sheepdog of Sam Prather, the Valley’s #1 Shepherd, has most unexpectedly given birth to a litter of pups. These will be excellent dogs for the right owners – someone who can at best work them on sheep or at the very least spend lots of time exercising them, and not leave them at home all day long where there is a good chance, given that this wonderfully intelligent breed is very intense and highly strung, that they might literally go ‘nuts’. Hopefully good homes will be found for these pups so if anyone who qualifies is interested they should please contact Sam at 895-3049...
... Some regulars were still a little hung-over even as late as Friday evening following the celebrations the night before at The Boonville Saloon for Amy Bloyd’s birthday bash. I was there for a short time and clearly those in attendance were having a rip-roaring time. Amy was too, I could tell, although she may not remember that she did!
... Not for the first time around here, and not for the last I’m sure, the conversation at The 3-Dot turned to the ‘luminaries’ who live here in the Valley. After skipping quite quickly through names of current residents such as the Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Alice Walker (‘The Color Purple’), accomplished actor Rene Auberjonois, and Nobel Laureate Cary Mullis, inevitably the less celebrated but perhaps equally famous or rather infamous names of those who at one point lived here were discussed in greater depth. Many readers not from this area may not be aware of this but I am reliably informed that the list includes convicted killer Charles Manson (of the Manson Family), formerly of Gschwend Road in the Christine Woods region; Jim Jones of People’s Temple fame and a member of the A.V.H.S. faculty in the late sixties; convicted sex offender and kidnapper Kenneth Parnell, resident of Mountain View Road in the early seventies; serial killer Charles Lake, commune-dweller in Philo in the early eighties (just before embarking on his diabolical murder spree with Charles Ng in Calaveras County); and ‘Tree Frog’ Johnson, formerly of Boonville in the seventies, another infamous child abductor/abuser... I mention this because it is a topic that is quite often discussed around here; I do not wish to make light of it. Obviously these days the Valley is an exceptionally friendly, harmonious, and community-minded place to live. However, these former ‘Valley People’, the perpetrators of some of the most heinous crimes imaginable, all once lived here and that fact is a small but unique part of the Valley’s history, albeit in a way that some choose to ignore and I’m sure this information does not appear in the Chamber of Commerce’s literature... ‘Tours of Evil People’s Homes’ anyone?...
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave... Happy Holidays!!!... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. Keep the Faith...
p.p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
p.p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace...

# 239 - December15th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... How about a few birthday greetings, no doubt belated in some cases, for those celebrating a December birthday? Here we go, ‘Many Happy Returns’ to Wilma Brink, Cleo Hixon, Bill Holcomb, Barbara ‘Bobbie’ Peterson, Pete Benville, Harold Hulbert, and Rick Rajeski... As my old friend Bill Shakespeare once wrote, referring to the female lead in a little play he wrote, entitled ‘Anthony and Cleopatra’, “Age cannot whither her nor custom stale her infinite variety.” So that’s your Quote of the Week and hopefully those words can be applied to each of our Birthday boys and girls, but I’ll let their friends, families, and acquaintances decide on that...
Public Service Announcements… #33 - Another heads-up for the upcoming Crab Feeds that will take place in the New Year and for which tickets, that make excellent Xmas gifts, are now available. The first feed will benefit the Senior Center and takes place on Saturday, January 15th - you can call Gina Pardini for tickets at 895-3609. Then it is the ‘Original’ Crab Feed on Saturday, February 5th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071 or Eva Holcomb at 895-3307... #34 – It’s the Grange Groove with D.J. Pete this Friday evening, Dec 17th from 7.30pm onwards at, where else, The Grange... #35 – The Christmas Carols Sing-a-Long at Lauren’s is this Saturday, Dec 18th at 8.30pm – it’s a beautiful thing... #36 – The Senior Center will be closed from Dec 20th to January 2nd inclusive, although there is a casino trip on Dec 27th – call 972-2723 for details...
Moving quickly on to a few of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley...
... Several regulars enjoyed the appearance of ‘local boy done good’ Mo Mandel on A.B.C. television’s ‘Modern Family’ last week. Branching out from his stand-up comedian vocation, Mo produced a fine two minutes of comedic acting playing opposite Ed O’Neil (of ‘Married with Children’ fame). I only hope that friends of Mo’s parents’ (Danny Mandelbaum and Benna Kolinsky), several of whom I believe may not have televisions, did not miss out on seeing the young man’s latest successful step up the entertainment world’s very steep ladder...
... Word spread like wildfire around The Three-Dot this past week that Patty Liddy was on the winning team at last week’s General Knowledge and Trivia Quiz at Lauren’s Restaurant. Along with teammates Alan ‘The Butcher’ Thomas, Matthew ‘Yves St. Laurent’ McMullen (all the way from Healdsburg), Beverly Bennett (Philo Pottery Inn), Peter ‘Pool Man’ Field, and Nikola Milojevich (from Serbia via the East Bay), she claimed the first place prize and then had to fend off accusations that she had inside information as a result of her ‘excessive canoodling’ with the Quiz Master. She sincerely defends herself, saying, “So I ‘canoodle’ with the bastard, yet despite my efforts he has never told me a single answer and if that doesn’t change soon then I will be withdrawing his privileges I can assure you”...
... A few people turned up at The 3-Dot following the Community Pot Luck at The Grange on Sunday evening. It was a fine affair by all accounts but they were gasping for a beer and/or glass of wine as the gathering was ‘a non-alcohol event’. That sounds sort of scary to me...
... Speaking of which, the I.C.W.’s (Independent Career Women) Christmas party, to which I was invited, was cancelled this past Sunday. They had hoped to get about forty attendees, a number that is traditionally easily reached for such an occasion, but ended up a few short for various reasons, one of which was the clash with the Community Pot Luck. Many people were disappointed, particularly those who like to sip a little wine with their meal, a very civilized thing to do I should add, and one can only hope that this will not happen again... Meanwhile I shall forlornly await my invitation to the group’s first meeting of the New Year...
... It was a busy Sunday afternoon at the County Dump but new Dump Guy, Will Housley, kept everything in order and managed to have a pleasant chat with everyone, complain about his defeated Oakland Raiders, and still make sure nobody was trying to drop off any dead animals...
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Poking and stroking egos wherever necessary and, as always, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. Keep the Faith...
p.p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
p.p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace...
p.p.p.s. Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll?...

# 238 - December 8th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Well done to The Boonville Hotel! Owner Johnny Schmitt, staff, and friends have added a great deal to the Christmas spirit here in the Valley with the addition of Christmas lights to the tree in the hotel parking lot in the heart of Boonville. It’s been a long time coming... A few years ago I was talking with Wayne Hiatt and he told me that there had never been a community Xmas tree in his entire lifetime (57 years and counting) and possibly not before that either. It seemed that every year or so for the past five or six he and I talked about getting something done at The Fairgrounds parking lot but just never got around to it. Anyway, now the Hotel has come through and what a wonderful job they have done. To paraphrase Winston Churchill, completely out of context, “Never has so much been owed, by so many, to so few”... And that’s your Quote of the Week...
I am indebted to reader Ed Smith of Brooklyn, New York for his recent kind letter about an article in British Columbia Magazine on both the migration of my Turkey Vulture brethren from British Colombia to Central and South America and also our “mighty peculiar habits”. As I have no intention of heading south and fully intend to stick around these parts, perhaps readers trying to understand us a little better might like to check out those ‘habits’ at www.bcmag.ca where they can click on ‘Stories’ and go to ‘turkey vulture behaviors’ on page 2 for further fascinating details. However, I must protest the claim there that we Turkey Vultures ‘rely on clumsy dance moves to attract mates.’ I think if you ask Hummingbird why she fell for me, it was due to my Astaire-like moves on the head of a recently deceased sheep, not to mention her attraction to the features of my own head—the color of exposed flesh—that is featherless and tapered, perfect for plunging repeatedly into the cavities of carrion. Apart from that one error, the short article provides fascinating reading, I can assure you...
Moving on... Public Service Announcements… #73 – The Vets are in town tomorrow, Dec 9th for their final visit of 2010. They will be at the A.V. Farm Supply from 2pm to 3.30pm and, as I always suggest, how about making a purchase while you’re there and thus give little support to the store that makes sure this wonderful service is provided in the Valley every month?... #74 – It’s that time again – the Dinner and Bingo Night at the Veterans Hall to benefit the Senior Center is at 6pm on Tuesday, Dec 14th. Chef Natalie will be serving her famous Chicken and Dumplings, beer and wine is available, and as always the Bingo prizes will be unbelievable! See you there... #75 – The I.C.W.’s (Independent Career Women) Christmas Party is this coming Sunday, Dec 12th at Lauren’s. It is invitation only and, guess what, – I am invited! Yer gotta like that...
Moving quickly on to some ‘Facts and Fiction’ that were under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge...
... Fiction – Jim Jones, yes that Jim Jones, is not going to miraculously appear at the A.V. Film Festival at the end of January when the documentary, ‘Jonestown” is shown here in the Valley. However, if anyone who was in any of his classes at the high school when he taught there would like to say a few words at that time please get in touch with me and I’ll pass you name on to the Festival Committee...
... Fact – the A.V. Animal Rescue is in need of a small area in which to set up their kennels somewhere in the Valley. Things have not been the same since losing that ideal spot behind the Drive-In in the heart of Boonville and a place of similar dimensions and location somewhat close to the hub of things would be ideal. It would be terrible to lose such an important asset to our community – and that is a FACT!
... Fiction - The Rhys Winery that has sprouted up out of virtually nowhere just south of Navarro in the last year or so, taking out most of the surrounding beautiful hillsides in the process, is not owned by a young couple whose families have always lived in this area and who love to garden and sip wine...
... Fact – the Jim Ball Winery on Hwy 128 just outside Philo is not closing. Jim tells me that the winter hours are now in effect but that’s it. “I suppose it is better than some of the false rumors that have been spread about me,” said Jim wistfully...
... Fact – the two upcoming Crab Feeds in the Valley will both sell out. The first one is on January 15th to benefit the Senior Center and then three weeks later Gloria Ross will be putting on the Original Crab Feed at the same venue – the Apple Hall in Boonville – on the evening of Saturday, Feb 5th – Get your tickets early to avoid disappointment at missing tow of the best Valley events of the year...
... Fiction – it is untrue that I have eaten more than my fair share at both of these events in the past. Trust me on this...
... Fact – The Buckhorn in Boonville will open in January...
... Fact – the winning team at last week’s General Knowledge and Trivia Quiz, which is held every Thursday evening as Lauren’s Restaurant, was ‘The Bar Team’, featuring luminaries such as Seisha, Julie H, Nora, Cora, and Lauren herself! Congratulations girls/women/ladies – I knew you could do it!
... Fiction – the former A.V. Brewery owner, Ken Allen, is not planning to set up and then run for the office of Mayor of the Valley. This is a very sensible move on the ‘King’s’ behalf wouldn’t you say?...
Oh, dear, I think I’ll get my coat and leave... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Poking and stroking egos wherever necessary and, as always, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. Keep the Faith...
p.p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

# 237 - December 1st, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... So how was your Turkey Day? Excessive and ‘over-the-top’, I hope. Here at The Nest it was a beautifully messy affair and that’s the way we like it...
And for your Quote of the Week, and to perhaps explain my philosophy regarding the Thanksgiving Day festivities, and I assume I’m in the majority on this, may I offer these words from the wonderful novelist and short story writer, W. Somerset Maugham (‘Of Human Bondage’ (1915)), who wisely observed, “Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.” – good stuff, William... Of course I could have given you the classic comment on this topic by William Blake. In fact, as this is the mantra for any self-respecting Turkey Vulture, I think I will anyway. It was Blake, a fine poet, who said, “The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” Who can argue with that?
Moving on... It’s time for the Public Service Announcements… #325 – The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital are in the Valley tomorrow, Dec 2nd at the A.V. Farm Supply north of Philo on Hwy 128. They will be back once more this month, next week on the 9th and if you do take your pet in, while you’re there perhaps show a little support for our local farm supply business that provides this very helpful service... #326 – The Holiday Bazaar sponsored by the Unity Club, is this Saturday, Dec 4th, from 10am-4pm at the Apple Hall in Boonville. It will feature an array of holiday food and gifts, pictures with Santa, a snack bar, and a raffle... #327 – the A.V. Animal Rescue will be setting up their adoption program for dogs and cats very aptly outside Laughing Dog Books in downtown Boonville. It may take a few weeks to get the program set up at its full potential but please don’t let this deter you from stopping by and giving your support. They plan to be there every Sunday from 11am-4pm. If you have any inquiries please call Jim at 684-9659 or check out their website at www.avanimalrescue.org ... And you can always step inside the excellent bookstore and make a Christmas Gift purchase too.
Now to a couple of observations made this past week by regulars at The Three-Dot Lounge, my favorite gathering place in the Valley...
... The Buckhorn Pub and Restaurant – which will be ‘a fine grub pub’ I am reliably informed – will be opening sometime in the next month or so. It really will... Why didn’t KZYX & Z local radio mention the power outage in the Valley north of Philo last Saturday from mid-afternoon on Saturday to the early hours of Sunday morning? They may have got to it at some point later in the evening but not when the news was most needed. Just wondering... And now to a few of my Thanksgiving Awards...Warmest welcome of the Week for a Turkey Vulture? The Boonville Saloon courtesy of Shelley and Marcia behind the bar on Saturday evening... Runner-up? The baptism event on the same evening at the Apple Hall, courtesy of several of my Mexican friends who insisted I ate some dinner and had a ‘little drink of something”... Most perfect place to give thanks over this past weekend? Hendy Woods – a beautiful and humbling experience, and a place for which you cannot be thankful enough... Best non-turkey meal of the Thanksgiving Holiday? – The classic cheeseburger and fries at Lauren’s...
With all this eating and drinking going on, it would be almost rude not to offer you a Wine of the Week... That goes to the truly delicious Esterlina Syrah which, when paired with some chocolate cake for dessert, a few hours after the turkey had been devoured, was heavenly and, dare I say, a quite orgasmic culinary experience. I suggest you get yourself a bottle with your next chocolate dish – trust me on this, you can thank me later...
And unfortunately, as is the tradition, we must also have the Whine of the Week... This is an old one of mine which surfaced again this weekend when the local radio station KZYX & Z’s Trading Times program featured two calls for lost dogs and apparently neither had tags and in one case the collar was also missing. Then later in the day, Hummingbird found a lost Aussie cattle dog on Rancho Navarro without a collar. What is the problem? Why wouldn’t you have a collar and tag for your pet? Our four-legged friends are not a commodity that can be simply replaced. We are their guardians and they will love us unconditionally until their last beat of their heart so surely taking a precaution as basic as a collar and tag is not a lot to expect... The worry over a pet being lost out in the woods somewhere, or anywhere else for that matter, is a very unpleasant feeling indeed. If they are fortunate to be found it would be very helpful for the finder to have a number to call, wouldn’t you say? Come on dog owners, help others to help you, and get your dogs a collar and tag. It’s even easier if you go on-line to www.tagxpress.com and they will have your new tag back to you in less than a week for under $9 and free shipping. I humbly suggest you do yourself and your pet a big, big favor; it may result in a lot of anguish and sadness being avoided...
So, lots of dog/pet references this week – not that there is anything whatsoever wrong with that in my book. They are our best friends after all... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. Keep the Faith and ‘woof, woof!’
p.p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net