# 69 - July 25th, 2007 - I'm back, again...

Greetings one and all!…Yes, loyal and faithful readers of the Anerson Valley Advertiser and AndersonValley.net, I am back after a lengthy absence away from the newspaper and four months "missing" from the internet. How did you cope?...During much of that time I was in the ‘wilderness’ rehabilitating from the mysterious ‘illness’ that struck me down in the Spring of 2006 and agin at the same time in 2007. This recovery, together with the arrival of a new hierarchy at the A.V.A., has resulted in the return of “A Bird’s Eye View” by Turkey Vulture to the pages of Anderson Valley’s finest newspaper and at the same time here on the net…

Let’s begin with a new feature to get your grey matter working – The T.V. (Turkey Vulture) Quiz. There will be three questions each week based on local ‘stuff” and hopefully you will test your Valley knowledge or perhaps even learn something you didn’t know about this special place and its inhabitants…Here we go…(answers at the end of the column)…
1. If somebody spoke to you in Boontling, the local dialect, and said, “your applehead is locked to a high-heeler”, what would do?
2. According to the sign at the north end of town, what is the elevation of Boonville?
3. In the mid-nineties, the restaurant in Boonville now known as Lauren’s was called The Soundbite. What was it called prior to that?

Now to a little recap or, some might say, a disclaimer!…For those of you unaware of what this column of “Vulture-journalism” is all about let me take a brief-ish moment to explain. ‘A Bird’s Eye View” is simply the opinions of a hack writer who gets out and about in The Valley more than most and is therefore able to offer, somewhat irreverently and perhaps amusingly, a different set of viewpoints to those held by others who write herein. The column hopefully entertains readers and sometimes informs them and is presented in an easily read, ‘light’ style, in contrast to much of the A.V.A.’s more well-written and ‘heavier’ articles…
Here’s a cruel but fair summing up by my good friend, The Old Crow, “Turkey Vulture likes to eat and drink. He criticizes, he encourages. He is curmudgeonly one moment and good-natured the next. He moans and groans. He rambles. He claims to be “humble” but frequently isn’t. He likes to push people’s buttons. He calls a spade a spade in a peculiar, passive-aggressive way. Perhaps most important of all, he loves Anderson Valley”…
Well that’s enough of that… Perhaps I should get to actually writing a column of some sort in the space I have left…
First let me remind you that the Barn Sale held on the last weekend of every month at a venue just north of Boonville on Anderson Valley Way is taking place this coming weekend – July 28th and 29th. The event runs from 9am - 3pm on both Saturday and Sunday and, apart from the numerous bargains, you will be greeted by the always cheerful Eva Holcomb with husband Bill on the grill serving up a damn good burger with all the fixin’s plus a small bag of chips for just $3.50. Yes, folks, you read it correctly, $3.50!...It’s all for charity - The Catholic Church - and you’ll have a good time - I’m prepared to guarantee it!...
Next up – I feel I should mention the recent tragic death of Deputy Sheriff Scott Nordin. Not only was he a fine deputy, who performed a difficult job very well, but he also had a deep fondness for The Valley and the vast majority of its inhabitants. Furthermore, he never failed to give me a wave as we passed each other on Hwy 128 - a simple gesture that was most welcome and appreciated. He knew The Valley’s “bad” guys, its “good” guys, and the “bad guys who weren’t that bad”. I believe he treated them all fairly and squarely. However, if you were a tourist committing some sort of illegal act in Downtown Boonville you may have had a different opinion - but who cares?...He also gave me a fine piece of advice regarding my tendency to zoom along The Valley as I searched for my next earth-shattering storyline. “All I ask, Vutlure,” he said with a knowing look, “is that you keep it under 100mph”…He was a very good guy, an important part of the community, and The Valley will miss him…

Well it looks like I’m almost out of space so let me leave you with the mouth-watering thought that the new column will revive the more popular aspects of the previous one – “popular”, that is, according to the thousands (?) of letters I used to receive each week. So look out for The Whine of the Week’ and ‘The Wine of the Week’; ‘Useful Words’; ‘Valley Personals’; Public Service Announcements; ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is approaching’; ‘Enlightening News’ from the desks of roving reporters, Balding Eagle, The Old Crow, and Charlie Cuckoo; etc; etc…As well as some fascinating new features (if I can think of any)…

That’s all for now…It’s great to be back, let’s do it again next week…Meanwhile, I’m sure you remember what to do – that’s right…Let us prey…
Humbly yours…Turkey Vulture…..
turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net
Quiz Answers…
1. You should probably leave town!. They would be informing you that, “your girlfriend is married to a cop”!
2. Boonville’s elevation is 400 feet.
3. It was called The Smiling Deer…and had a sign on the wall showing a deer smiling – Yer gotta like that!