# 499 - 24th February, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    Given all the current new/revived restaurant business in the Valley, and in recent years a number of them coming and going almost as quickly as it takes to make a pizza, it is clearly a wonderful achievement that Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville will be celebrating it’s 20th Anniversary this coming Saturday, February 27. This event begins at 7pm and music will be provided by Dean Titus and the Boot Jack 5 with some special guests (no cover; no dinner service that night)… Lauren shared her thoughts on this milestone, “February 2, 1996 was our first night of dinner service. It was a Friday night and we were just busy enough to think this might really work.  A few bumps along the way, but we’re still here twenty years later.  I’ve often said I would never have wanted to open a restaurant in an anonymous strip mall and cook food for people I didn’t know. Community was vital to what I hoped to do. Cooking good food was important, but creating a place where my friends and neighbors could gather around good food and share art and music was really most important. The community of the Anderson Valley helped that happen. So a big thank you to all of you who accepted us and have continued to support us over the years, friends, neighbors and visitors”… And a very big ‘Thank you’ to you and your staff too, Lauren…

    So with Lauren’s success in mind, let’s stay with that topic for some Quotes of the Week… First it’s this from Irving Berlin, “The toughest thing about success is that you’ve got to keep on being a success” - no retiring yet then Lauren!… Or how about this observation from the sardonic social commentator Fran Lebowitz, “Success didn’t spoil me; I’ve always been insufferable”… The American journalist and essayist Christopher Morley remarked, “There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way”… Here’s a more cynical view of success from Lily Tomlin who commented, “The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat”… Barbara Walters has this to say on the topic, “Success can make you go one of two ways. It can make you a prima donna, or it can smooth the edges, take away the insecurities, and let the nice things out”… Finally let’s turn to author Joseph Heller (MASH) for his wise observation, “Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, and neurosis. With failure comes failure”… Is success really like that Lauren?… Onward…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready…#782 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have one more visit to the Valley this month - tomorrow, February 25, from 2-3.30pm at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. Unfortunately they will only be here just once next month - Thursday, March 24…    #783 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday at its winter venue, outside The Boonville General Store, from 10am-12:30 pm. For more info call Cindy at 895-2949… #784 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by - you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #785 - The A.V. Lending Library, run by The Unity Club, is open at The Fairgrounds on Tuesdays 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm… #786 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!  The number for the Dump is 895-3569 and checking first to see that they are open is probably well worth the small effort. F.Y.I., the Recycling Center in Boonville at The Fairgrounds’ parking lot is open Wednesday -Saturday, 9-4pm (489-2033)…     #787 - And finally, here’s a heads-up for the annual St. Patrick’s Day Fundraiser for the A.V. Senior Center. This will take place on Saturday, March 12th at The Fairgrounds in Boonville with a 5.30pm Happy Hour and a dinner to follow at 6.30pm that will feature Corned Beef and cabbage plus ‘Green’ Beer, Irish Coffee, Margaritas, local wine, and soft drinks. As always, the ever-popular cake/dessert auction will be presented after the dinner. Tickets are available at the Senior Center, A.V. Market, and Lemons’s in Philo: $15 and $10 for Kids 10 and Under…
    As a bonus P.S.A., here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, February 25, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Chicken Pot Pie with Citrus Cranberry Cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, March 1st, as they always do for the first lunch of the month, Marti and the crew will present the always popular Meat Loaf, mashed Potatoes and gravy, and Birthday Cupcakes. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!   Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches, and remember – ALL ages are welcome!… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… So are we all ready for Trump v Clinton?… Sad but true, I feel…
… A couple of Three-Dot regulars were at The Shed behind the Farrer Building in the heart of Boonville last Friday evening for a General Knowledge Quiz hosted by High School Principal/Superintendent Michelle Hutchins and presented by Quiz Master Steve Sparks. The Quiz provided this year’s ‘battleground’ for the annual challenge between teachers from our local High School and those from the Elementary School, who won last year’s Challenge in a very different arena - the Bocce Court… Following pizza and other goodies, accompanied by a little wine and beer, the Quiz proceeded and resulted in a very close match indeed - 1 point being the difference, as the Elementary School held on to their trophy and celebrated vociferously to the sporting applause of the High School teams. It appeared that the teachers had a really good time, and even though The Quiz Master did not have to give out any ‘pink slips’ he was forced to reprimand them on a couple of times for their lack of attention and too much talking!
… I am still surprised at how many pet dogs in this Valley get out of their homes or off their land and are found, only to be without tags and so the whereabouts of their owners is often difficult to know. I have mentioned this before, but for about $8 (including free shipping) you can order a tag from the guys at www.tagxpress.com. By doing so you will have some peace of mind and it will certainly be to the relief of the person who finds your pet...
… Long-time Valley resident, Pat Hulbert writes, “Just think maybe I should let you know....I got two calls from (he said the IRS) that they are taking me to court… I hung up… This is a scam…. A good friend of mine also got one… The people here in the Valley need to be warned… Maybe you can do it in your column… God Bless you Turkey Vulture… Pat H”… Consider it done, Pat…
    I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Happy 80th, Frank!!
p.p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…

# 498 - 17th February, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    What is surely an important yet too often ignored fact about life is death. So many of us put off much needed decision-making on this topic until it becomes a necessity, and at that point the ideal situations and resolutions for each for us may be difficult to come by. Here in the Valley we have a group of folks who are trying to help with this. Lauren Keating of Lauren’s Restaurant shared details of ongoing monthly meetings at her restaurant, at which many of the questions surrounding the complexities of later life are explored.  “We’ve called our gatherings ‘Preparation for the Rest of our Lives - a group discussion of life and end-of-life.’ The next meeting is this coming Sunday, February 21, from 4pm to 5:30pm at which we shall have representatives from local organizations that help the elderly and seniors in our Valley - the A.V. Health Center, the Senior Center, the Elder Home, and the Senior Assistance Network (S.A.N.)”… Lauren can be reached at 895-2606 for further information. Although not an uplifting topic, there are not many that are more important for discussion, and surely this is something all of those in the final third of their lives should probably be thinking about…
    Talking of ‘the end of life,’ as it were, our top investigative reporter and self-proclaimed conscience of the Valley, The Old Buzzard, is saddened by the following news and shares it here as another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “It has come to my attention that the final piece of the Hulbert Ranch on Highway 128 opposite Gowans’ Oak Tree is under threat of sale and therefore ‘the end of life’ for this 150-year old Valley ranch is drawing near. In recent times, two of the three sections have been sold to outside interests already - and it’s probably just a matter of time before the vines go in at those locations. Now the final 40-acre piece of this historical ranch is on the market. The three remaining elderly children of Clarence and Ruby Hulbert have little interest in holding on to the property, but Debbie Young, wife of Vince Young, who is the son of Clarence and Ruby’s deceased daughter Marietta, most certainly is. The Hulbert’s have owned the ranch for five generations and Debbie and her family want to continue that legacy. The ranch is also the location of her business, ‘Horse-n-Around’, a family owned and operated business that provides horse trail rides for guests who stay in rustic cabins on the ranch. The property used to be a working ranch for many years and Debbie hopes to bring some of those features back to the property, as well as making it an attraction for visitors as a day camp at which guests get to experience a range of farming activities. With this in mind, Debbie is hoping to buy the final piece and save the Ranch from distinction. However, she needs investors to help her do so. Family members cannot assist, so she is turning to Valley folks who can invest or may have an interest in being partners in her business opportunity and/or a desire to keep a slice of the Valley’s history alive. If this appeals to you in any way, please call  Debbie at 895-3075… Let’s hope Debbie gets some response(s), otherwise the demise of the Hulbert Ranch will be yet another sign that the Apocalypse is rapidly approaching…”

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #543 - Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville celebrates their 20th Anniversary on Saturday, February 27. The special evening begins at 7pm and cover-free music will be provided by Dean Titus and the Boot Jack 5 (no dinner service that night)… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have one more visits this month They will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply  on Highway 128, north of Philo, from 2-3.30pm next week, Thursday, February 25. They will return just once next month - on Thursday, March 24… #545 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, February 23. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #546 - The Anderson Valley Museum - ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’ - at The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way remains closed on their winter break until March… #547 - Karaoke takes place on the third Wednesday of each month at The Buckhorn in Boonville - that’s tonight Wednesday, February 17, from 9pm on…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, February 18, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Joe's Chili followed by Cherry Dump Cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, February 23rd at 6pm, the dinner will feature Oven BBQ Briquette and Fresh Strawberry Cake for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!   Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… With Erica Lemons’ departure, the School Board is once again a member short… Three new members joined long-time trustee Richard ‘Dick’ Browning just a couple of months ago, and the new appointee will be nominated and selected by these four folks, who will hopefully have more than one applicant to choose from… So far, just Robert Pinoli Jr, who failed to get selected in the recent round of appointments, has applied. Robert is a pleasant, approachable, and intelligent man, who in normal circumstances would probably be an asset. However, he is the son of Robert Sr, the High School Athletic Director and current ‘Dean of Discipline’ - a sort-of Vice Principal if you will. Do I hear ‘That must be a conflict of interests’ from anyone? Given that the Board oversees the school’s administration and its duties, I’m sure I do… Perhaps Pinoli Jr believes he can exclude himself from votes or discussions that feature his father, or his father’s spheres of influence and involvement. Maybe he feels that such an absence on his behalf would have no impact on his effectiveness as a Board member, both in terms of his functioning as such but also in his dealings with fellow Board members. Along with several other folks with whom I have spoken on this matter, such thoughts by Robert Jr would be unrealistic. Due to the positions held by Robert Sr, the Board’s jurisdiction will be frequently required on issues that concern Robert Sr in one way or another, thus leaving Junior unable to contribute to much that is discussed. This would then beg the question, ‘Why is he on the board?’ It just doesn’t seem to be right, in my humble opinion, so let’s all hope that there will be other applicants and that this awkward set of circumstances can be avoided… If not, as my father would often say when predicting inevitable and impending doom, “I’m afraid this will all end up in tears”…
… Staying with the school, but in a lighter vein, a number of regulars will be eagerly awaiting the result of the Teacher’s Quiz taking place this coming Friday, February 19, and featuring teams from the faculties at our local High School and Elementary school competing against each other in a General Knowledge Quiz complied by local Quiz Master, Steve Sparks… Organized by School Superintendent, Michelle Hutchins, as a team-building exercise, it should be quite a battle… Results next week…
… Restaurant Update… Current hours for Valley establishments that serve dinner: Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville is open Tuesday thru’ Saturday, every evening from 5-9pm… The Boonville Hotel’s Table 128 restaurant serves their prix fixe family style dinners Friday thru’ Sunday (call for reservations)… Libby’s in Philo has reopened with dinner served Tuesday to Saturday from 5-8pm (and lunch on Friday and Saturday, 11:30am-2pm)… The Buckhorn, Boonville, continues to be there for Valley people and visitors alike for more hours than any other dining establishment - they are open every day and night except for Tuesdays, and that includes brunch served all day at the weekends…
… As for the ‘new’ restaurants in the Valley… The Bewildered Pig at The Floodgate is open Thursday (their new locals’ night) thru’ Sunday… Stone and Embers at The Madrones re-opens under new (and previous) ownership this Friday, February 19, for lunch & dinner, Friday thru’ Monday, 11:30am-8:30pm each day… The ‘new’ Aquarelle Cafe in Boonville has had a slight delay in their plans but will now re-open on Friday, February 26… At that point, all of our Valley restaurants will be operating and heading into what will hopefully be a busy summer season for one and all…
    That’s all for now, folks; I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; be kind to your pets; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday… Keep on humming, Hummingbird… On the sheep, Grace…

# 497 - 10th February, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… So we are already at Valentine’s Day, February 14 is this coming Sunday, and yet 2016 seems as if it began yesterday - in fact some folks are still wishing me a ‘Happy New Year’! Valentine’s is of course a day to express love and affection, and we all need some of that, particularly curmudgeonly Turkey Vultures like myself, so I am expecting lots of hugs over the next few days - don’t be bashful…
    With ‘love in the air’ I thought some words of wisdom on the topic would be in order for your Quotes of the Week... First, let’s bring in the author Katherine Mansfield (1888-1923) who wittily observed, “If only one could tell true love from false love, as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools”... And this from Diane Arbus (1923-1971), the American photographer and writer, who wrote, “Love involves a peculiar, unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding”... This is a poignant thought from author A.A. Milne (1882-1956), creator of Winnie the Pooh, who remarked “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you”… And let’s finish with Valley resident and author, poet, and activist, Alice Walker (1944-present) whose words we could all live by, “I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all of my heart”…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #543 - The General Knowledge and Trivia Quiz held at Lauren’s Restaurant is now on its winter/spring schedule of 7pm on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays of every month - that means there will be one tomorrow, Thursday, February 11… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have one more visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo - that is on February 25 from 2pm… #545 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday at its winter venue, outside The Boonville General Store, from 10am-12:30 pm. For more info call Cindy at 895-2949… #546 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by - you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #547 - The A.V. Lending Library, run by The Unity Club, is open at The Fairgrounds on Tuesdays 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm… #548 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!  The number for the Dump is 895-3569 and checking first to see that they are open is probably well worth the small effort. F.Y.I., the Recycling Center in Boonville at The Fairgrounds’ parking lot is open Wednesday -Saturday, 9-4pm (489-2033)… #549 - The Anderson Valley Grange is having its regular second Sunday Pancake Breakfast on February 14 from 8:30-11am. Prices range from $5-10 / kids through hungry folks; for a delicious, locally-sourced breakfast. Choices include pancakes (gluten free available; extra gluten is not), eggs, and bacon, with a choice of juice, tea or coffee included… #550 - The Food Bank is open on the 3rd Tuesday of each month - which is next Tuesday, February 16. Gardeners, farmers and produce growers of all kinds, remember to donate your extra produce. It will be greatly appreciated. Please drop off on Monday, the day before, behind the Boonville Methodist Church.  If you need someone to glean your produce to take to the Food Bank, contact Valerie Kim at valerie.h.kim@gmail.com. Denisse Mattei is the Food Bank director. You can reach her at 895-3763… #551 - I am led to believe that the ‘Second Wednesday Drumming Circle’ will be taking place at The Grange tonight, Wednesday, February 10 from 7-9pm. To confirm, perhaps call Andy at 895-3020…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, February 11, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Jared's Clam Chowder with Banana Pudding for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, January 16, the lunch will feature Stuffed Shells with Marinara Sauce and Tiramisu for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!   Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays also at 10am it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… Restaurant news - A little bit of advice that perhaps not all readers are aware of when it comes to the acceptable amount to leave your server as a tip… Your total bill in a restaurant and/or bar will include cost of the food and drinks, followed by the sales tax, and then the total. Your tip (be it 15%, 20%, whatever) should be based only on the cost of the food and drinks, not the added sales tax too… Just trying to be of service, no tip required for this advice…
… Many Three-Dot regulars were raising their glasses to the A.V. High School Boys varsity basketball team, led by Coach Luis Espinoza, who went out to the coast last Tuesday and beat Coach Jim Young and the ‘always-good-to-beat’ Cardinals of Mendocino for the second time this season. The Panthers won 57-55 giving them an 8-0 league record and, barring a couple of improbably defeats in the remaining league games, A.V. should now claim the regular season title…

... The big topic of conversation around The Three-Dot this week has been the wonderful Crab Feed put on by Gloria Ross and her team of volunteers last Saturday evening in Boonville. There was an attendance of over three hundred eager guests, the vast majority of whom live in the Valley, from all walks of Valley life. The crab (from Washington State), salad, and bread were all at a high standard; the wine (generously provided by Balo Winery) flowed and flowed; the service provided by high school students was very efficient; the raffle kept many in the crowd absorbed; the pacing of the evening was perfect; and the socializing with friends was hard to beat – from the social hour and the many post-meal mini-gatherings around the bar and throughout the Apple Hall, all the way through to the end that came at around 9.30pm, when the hard-working volunteers finally sat down to enjoy their own crab feed – they certainly deserved it!… This is surely the Valley’s most community-centric event of the year and if you missed out this year, I encourage you to make sure of your tickets next time…
…The next day it was Super Bowl Sunday – the only event that truly unites the national gaze in this country; it’s become a de facto national holiday in effect. The game was a defense dominated affair with Denver deserving the victory despite getting only 194 yards of offense - the lowest ever by a Super Bowl winner. They did not need any more with their unstoppable defense… Some of the ads were good, some not; the half time show was very entertaining and not very subtle in its political and social references, particular Beyonce’s Black Panther dancing girls who didn’t just look good they were making a statement… There were about 40 or more people in attendance at The Buckhorn, Boonville, and I had a wonderful afternoon, despite the fact that I was completely wrong on all of my wagers - well I would have been were it legal to make them in the first place…
    Well, now I think it’s time to take my leave. Besides I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; be kind and show love to your pets; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Keep taking it easy, Round-eyed Robin…

# 496 - 3rd February, 2016

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… What links these ‘celebrities - pretty much a D-list at this point?’ - Cher, Mike Tyson, Gary Busey, Charlie Sheen, Kenny Rogers, Hulk Hogan, Mark Cuban (outspoken owner of the Dallas Mavericks NBA team), Terrell Owens, Ted Nugent, Dennis Rodman, Lou Ferrigno, Chuck Yeager, Mike Ditka, Tom Brady, Stephen Baldwin, Tila Tequila (reality tv ‘star’), Gene Simmons, Dan Blizerian (self-styled ‘King of Instagram’), Willie Robertson (Duck Dynasty), and Jessie Ventura (wrestler/‘politician’)… … No - they are not the top 20 most embarrassing Americans (although many would make that list), or even personifications of the worst things about America - test pilot Chuck Yeager and one or two others would not be among those. In fact they are 20 folks who have endorsed Donald Trump for President, virtually every one of them offering as a big reason for their support being their belief that Trump ‘speaks his mind and doesn’t care what people think’… Hmmm… Let’s all vote for him then… What could possibly go wrong?!?…  

              

                    Benito Musolini                                                            Donald Trump

Onward… Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the  ready… #546 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, on two Thursdays this month - firstly tomorrow, February 4 and then again on Feb 25. They are here from 2-3.30pm and to avoid the rush I suggest you go later in that time period - as long as you get there before 3.30pm your pet will be seen… #547 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, February 9. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #548 - The Anderson Valley Museum - ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’ - at The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way remains closed on their winter break until March…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, February 4, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Beef and/or Chicken Tostadas and Mixed Berry Nachos with Birthday Cupcakes for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, February 9 at 6pm, the dinner will feature Rosemary Pork Roast and the perfectly named Elvis Presley Cake for dessert. As this is the 2nd Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bingo at 7pm… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!  Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… The resignation of Erica Lemons has resulted in the School Board requiring a new member once again. November’s departure of three members meant that the Board was down on experience already, with long-time stalwart Dick Browning currently joined by the recent additions of three talented but ‘rookie’ newcomers: Natalie Matson, Eric Arbanovella, and Wynn Crisman… A new member will be assigned by the current members, I assume, and the more experience this person has in Valley matters, and with the school itself, and perhaps most important of all, with life in general, the better for all I would suggest…
… The re-re-arrest of cartel leader Juan ‘Shorty’ Guzman, aka El Chapo, in the city of Los Mochis in Mexico’s Sinaloa state piqued my interest and, after brief research, I found that this is the sister city of northern California’s Santa Rosa… Hmm; just sayin’… I was in Sinaloa a few months ago (not with Sean Penn I hasten to add) and enquired about the feelings towards El Chapo among some of the local folks. They were almost entirely supportive, the most common remarks being that he gave the communities in his home state more than they received from the government in terms of money for the schools and sports’ programs. While they certainly did not agree with his methods, they claim that most of the deaths he was responsible for were those of people in other drug gangs, not innocent civilians… Obviously the effects of his drug-smuggling etc are far-ranging and do untold damage to many people’s lives but, to many folks, he had become a sort of Robin Hood-like heroic figure, robbing the rich to give to the poor… It is a very unsatisfactory sign of the times…
… Update from Crab Feed Central… There were originally 325 tickets available for this wonderful annual event taking place this coming Saturday, February 6, when folks from all walks of life in the Valley community will sit down to eat together. Well, these have now all sold out, but by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071 you may be able to get some as a result of any cancellations that inevitably occur…
… Libby’s Restaurant in Philo has re-opened! They did so last Friday -  a fact I unfortunately learned the day after last week’s column went to print… The Bewildered Pig enjoyed a second busy weekend and they had made some minor adjustments following various customer suggestions after their inaugural opening the previous week - well done to them… The ‘new’ Aquarelle has their re-opening on February 12 with the ‘new’ Stone and Embers following with theirs a week later… Good luck to all… Meanwhile, Lauren’s Restaurant has been open for 20 years and will celebrate that achievement at the end of the month with a special event- ya gotta like that - more details later…
… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “The film industry is continuing its rapid decline in terms of making movies that feature complex characters that require top quality acting skills along with stimulating plot lines that in turn demand a modicum of intelligence from the viewing audience. When actors of the quality of Angelina Jolie, Liam Neeson, Robert Downey Jr., Matt Damon, Christian Bale, etc, are involved in seen after scene of special effects, shootouts, and crashes, then you know there are fewer and fewer outlets for them to display their talents. However, over the last decade, as films get less demanding on the acting prowess of the stars and the attentions spans of the audience alike, the scriptwriters have found a home, as so have a number of actors, in the form of HBO, Showtime, AMC, and PBS television channels, not to mention the quality programs that are being streamed on the web by the likes of Amazon and Netflix. Those Valley folks who rarely miss the opportunity to share the fact that they do not have a television are actually missing out on some splendid entertainment as I have little doubt that some of the best writing and acting can now be seen on these channels, providing viewers with the level of mental stimulation they used to expect from the movie-going experience. Arguably, at no time previously, has the following comment by Carl Sagan, creator and presenter of the wonderful series ‘Cosmos’ been more appropriate - “Used properly, television can educate and inspire awe as well as any book, painting, or film?… Meanwhile, the box office movie hits in the last year or two have been dominated by ‘action’ and adventure’ categories that include Iron Man, The Hunger Games series, Despicable Me 2, Man of Steel, Frozen, Monsters University, Gravity, the Fast and Furious series, Marvel's The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Bond movies, The Amazing Spider-Man, Jurassic World, and Star Wars… Many of these films are entertaining, I’m sure, and there are certainly still films that are not like this of course, but it is a worrying trend for the many film fans who prefer movies featuring edgy drama, developing interpersonal relationships, and intricate plot lines and, in my humble opinion, is just another example that the Apocalypse is rapidly approaching……… Before I leave, for those of you who enjoy sports, here for entertainment purposes only is my Super Bowl pick…Take Carolina, giving up 5 points to the spread, to beat Denver by a final score of 27-17…”

    Well I think it’s time to take my leave; besides I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Anyway, that’s enough for now, “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; be kind and show love to your pets; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird… Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday… On the sheep, Grace…