# 172 - August 26th, 2009

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... And as has become the custom around here let’s get straight into a couple of Public Service Announcements... #173: It’s that time again already – the monthly Barn Sale is coming up this weekend (Aug. 29th and 30th) at The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville. It’s from 9am to 3pm each day and for bargains and BBQ it’s hard to beat... #174: Also on Saturday it’s the A.V. High School Boys Soccer season opener at Tom Smith Field in Boonville. Drew H.S. from San Francisco are the visitors and kick-off is at 1pm. Feel free to come out and give the boys some support...
Talking of sports and games here’s some words you may, or may not, completely disagree with from the Irish playwright, George Bernard Shaw, who once said, “Games are for people who can neither read nor think.” Well that’s a load of old bollocks in my humble opinion. Too much reading and thinking apparently made Georgie Boy a miserable bugger (and he was no doubt an poor sportsman too). Surely a far more agreeable and accurate comment comes from Russell Baker, an American Pulitzer Prize-winning writer known for his satirical commentary who said, “In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.” And there’s nothing too wrong with that, I’d say...
Next up it’s the continuing revelations on our own ‘Anderson Valley Who’s Who?’... After exhaustive research and in-depth investigative reporting, my top team of reporters, with very able assistance from Barn Owl, has unearthed the following information about who is serving on the current A.V. School Board – very timely with school starting just two days ago! There are five members with Martha Bradford as President. We also have Michael Addison as Clerk, Richard ‘Dick’ Browning, Grace Espinoza, and Erica Lemons. Four of the five have terms through November 2011, the exception being Michael Addison whose term ends in November of this year and a little bird tells me he does not plan to run again... Anyway, now you know who they are you can proceed as you see fit... Next week I hope to reveal the names of board members for our Chamber of Secrets, err sorry, Commerce...
Moving quickly on to some of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... I whined about the lack of lamb in the Valley a couple of weeks ago in ‘Bird’s Eye View’ but no sooner had the ink hit the page than my friend, Alan the Northern Tit, agreed to trade me some freshly killed lamb from his Bay Creek Farm on Ornbaun Road in Boonville. This was in exchange for ‘services rendered’ when his old sheep died and needed to be disposed of. As a result I now have a freezer full of lamb - legs, shoulder roast, chops, ribs, shanks, and stewing meat. He also has beef, pork, and rabbits in plentiful supply and, if the arrangement is agreeable to both parties, he would be willing to part with some I’m sure...
... I am yet to pay them a visit but I am aware that Dave and Nancy Gowan have returned to their Anderson Valley Farm Supply following a couple of year’s sabbatical during which time Karen Katz ran Dig Supplies there. Whilst I wish Karen and her crew all the very best for the future, I also hope that the Gowans are revitalized on their return – for another twenty-seven years perhaps!? Personally I’ll be grateful for that livestock knowledge that they both bring, Dave’s delicious fresh corn, and of course his uncannily accurate weather forecasts...
... Is it true that they are going to make a movie based on the environmental activist Judi Bari? And if so will Bruce Anderson get a cameo role?... Whilst it is true that the building that formerly housed The Highpockety Ox and The Buckhorn Saloon has been sold to local interests (name still to be officially revealed), surely the rumor that it is to be a bank, a pharmacy, and a pizzeria is just far too good to be true - after all, they would be things we really need...Is it true that A.V.A. Supremo Bruce Anderson has ‘mellowed’? I’d start by asking the perpetually hen-pecked and browbeaten Major Scaramella... Is it true that you should avoid anyone here in the Valley with more dogs than teeth?... Is it true that the A.V. Brewery now does beer in a can and that it is quite good?... All are important issues well worth pondering over a beer or glass of wine wouldn’t you say?...
I’m outta here - I have to see a man about a sheep... Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and, with the continuing hot weather, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle... May your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 171 - August 19th, 2009

Greetings one and all – and my apologies for the absence of a ‘Bird’s Eye View’ column last week. Many of you have written to me wondering why and expressing concern. I was touched. I did send in an apology and explanation to the paper but the Powers-that-Be at the A.V.A. decided not print it - a critical mistake that one hopes will not haunt them. Anyway, I am back, so if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin...
I was saddened to hear of the passing of long-time Valley resident and (amongst many other things) the recent former senior bus driver, Dick Sand last weekend. Always ready with an off-color joke and an insistence on sharing his forthright beliefs, which were not always well received or agreeable; not to mention a gift of the gab that was hard to reign in on occasion, to some people Dick was a difficult man to deal with. That’s fine and understandable. However, in the relatively short time I have known him, I found him to be very pleasant and a decent man in many ways. He was very polite and warm towards me and always remembered and used my name when speaking to me – not a common enough courtesy these days I must say. He was never the same following the passing of his wife in 2006. His depression was obvious to all and I believe that now he’ll be much happier alongside his beloved Lovella... R.I.P. Dick – and I advise you not to tell 'The Big Man up there' the one about the Pastor and the prostitute...
As has been the recent custom let’s begin with some Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s) – we have quite a few this week... #129: The monthly I.C.W. (Independent Career Women) meeting takes place next Wednesday (Aug 26th) and once again I shall be unable to attend. My apologies to one and all... Talking of apologies (and it seems to be a popular subject this week) I must offer one for my error in a recent column wherein I thanked the BBQ guys for their work at the Lions’ Club Tri-Tip event to benefit the A.V. Ambulance. I was mistaken in my belief that Christine Clarke’s son, Justin, one of the BBQ grill masters, had the same name as her because I had heard him called Justin Clarke on many occasions. He is actually Justin Reilly. I apologize for my error and can only hope that my meat portion at the next BBQ will not be affected!... But I digress...
P.S.A. #130: I am indebted to Sue Davies of Philo for informing us that tomorrow (Aug 20th) at 5 p.m. at the Boonville Live Oak building, the Anderson Valley Lyme Support Group will host a talk by a lyme literate doctor. Dr. Neil Nathan will speak on the complexities of lyme diagnosis and it's treatments. Discussion and questions will follow. The public is welcome to this free event... #131: The monthly Dance Groove returns to The Grange on Hwy 128 on Friday (Aug 21st) evening, starting at 7pm. With D.J. Pete on the turntables and a crowd of ‘Groovers’ prepared to let it all hang out, it’s a guaranteed fun night and these days it’s just about the only regular dance night happening in the Valley. (Meanwhile, what about an adults only event sometime?)... #132: The annual A.V.H.S. Soccer Alumni Game will take place on Saturday (Aug 22nd) at Tom Smith Field behind the school at 1pm. The High School has won the past two matches against their bigger and stronger opponents so the Alumni will no doubt be ready for revenge in what is always a very hard fought game... #133: Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville is displaying the unique and terrific art, photographs, and wire sculptures of Rene Auberjonois, the Valley’s well-renowned actor of stage, screen, and television. This will continue to run through Labor Day weekend and is certainly one of those ‘must-see’ events we get around here once in a while...
With the mere mention of 'art' clearly the cultural level of this column been raised significantly. Let's keep it up for a medley of 'Quotes of the Week.' First it’s the rather curmudgeonly view of pop-artist Andy Warhol who said, “An artist is somebody who produces things that people don’t need to have.” Then we have a more profound point of view from playwright Henry Miller, who opined, “Art teaches nothing, except the significance of life”...And to finish let’s have my own personal words of wisdom on this topic – “I know art but I don’t know what I like” - I guess that means we are now back down to the usual standards again, eh?
I was very pleased to be able to attend the 25th Wedding Anniversary of High School Principal J.R. Collins and wife Jeanne at their home on Holmes Ranch last weekend. A good crowd of over a hundred was in attendance and when I left it was clear a good time was being had by all... Hummingbird and I then drove into Boonville where a different gathering had assembled for the ‘Farewell Party’ for Cassidy Hollinger as she departs this week for Vassar College in New York State for her ‘freshwoman’ year. It was a wonderful event and I am very confident that Cass will knock ‘em dead back east and go from being a big fish in our small pond to being a big one in a very large pond.
The A.V.H.S. Booster Club’s Spaghetti Feed was held last Sunday evening at the Apple Hall in Boonville. This was specifically to benefit the Football, Volleyball, and Soccer programs at the school and a great turnout ensured the event was a big success. So much so that they sold out and the final meal served was hardly a ‘Feed’ at all – a light snack more like! That’s o.k. though – it was mine and some might say I had eaten more than my fair share at the previous two events. They might even be right...
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave... Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and, with the hot weather now with us, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle... May your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 170 - August 5th, 2009

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... First up this week let’s have a couple of Public Service Announcements with two of the Valley’s most popular events coming up this weekend. On Saturday, August 8th at noon it’s the Annual Airport Party (on Airport Drive believe it or not) with free ‘rides’ up in the skies above the Valley offered by our local expert pilots. Drinks are provided and you are encouraged to bring goodies for a potluck that starts at 5pm... Then the following day, at 4.30pm in the Fairgrounds, it’s the Lions’ Club tri-tip bbq to benefit The A.V. Volunteer Ambulance Service. Two excellent occasions not to be missed - you can definitely trust me on this and thank me later...
Talking of trust, the very wise English philosopher and social commentator Dr. Samuel Johnson provides The Quote of the Week when he had this to say on the topic, “We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us.” Well, that may be true but even though you all know me well I still haven’t ‘deceived’ you yet have I?...
On to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite bar/restaurant/gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’... (Three dots - ... – 3 dots - ... - Geddit?...)...
... This past week has seen an in-depth discussion at The 3-Dot on the Valley’s ‘Who’s Who?’ Everyone knows that Colin Wilson is the Fire Chief and I can confirm that David Norfleet is the Grange Master, Christine Clark is head Lioness of the Lions’ Club, Sandra Nimmons is the current ‘Queen’ of The Independent Career Women (I.C.W.), and I am the long-serving Head of Valley V.I.C.E. (Vultures’ Involved in Cultural Education)... However, 3-Dot regulars are still asking - Who is on The Chamber of Commerce? And who is on the School Board? I think we should be told... Meanwhile, I have my top team of investigative reporters on the case and their full ‘expose’ is expected on my desk any day now...
... I shared more disappointing news on the ‘Valley Traditions’ front with 3-Dot regulars this week. Not as serious as the final sawmill in the Valley closing a couple of months ago (first time since 1860 that there are no mills in A.V.), nor as disappointing as the cancellation of The Woolgrowers BBQ, but I was certainly frustrated when I was unable to buy any lamb (apart from frozen ground lamb) anywhere in the Valley last Sunday. My guest, the Windsor Woodpecker, a curry expert from the U.K., was looking forward to preparing his signature Lamb Curry dish but had to go with chicken instead. It’s a sad day in the Valley when you can risk your life crossing the road in downtown Boonville because of all the wine-guzzling crazy drivers and yet cannot get a good piece of lamb...
... The buzz is getting louder amongst the hip crowd in the Valley with regards to the superb d.j.’s that KZYX & Z has on offer every Saturday night. From 10pm it’s the Blue Note Lounge followed at midnight by D.J. Pete. Both guys do an excellent job and if you’re sitting around with friends, sipping a libation or two, then I strongly urge you to tune in – some might say it could be the best thing on our local public radio station...
Tuning in to these guys is the perfect ‘night-cap’ following an evening of fun in The Deep End... After a week off, live music returned to The Navarro Store on Saturday night with the wonderful harmonica playing and singing of the talented Mark Hummal and the tight sounds of his impressive band. Impresario and Store Owner Dave Evans and his crew did a great job once again and the crowd of about eighty people had an excellent time, either listening to the sounds from under the redwoods as they sipped beer and/or munched on Pablo’s delights off the grill or dancing along in front of the stage alongside Tommy ‘The Dance Man’ Hopper and the usual assortment of Valley folk joining him on the dance floor. They were all there - from the expressive Detroit soul moves of Hummingbird dancing to ‘Georgia Slide’, to the gyrations of Sharon of Roederer Estate winery dancing with Chris of Navarro Winery doing a very rhythmic ‘Austin Powers’-type dance; from the slick moves of David Jones and son Stringbean to the unadulterated fun of Ernie Pardini dancing with daughter Sarah Jane; and from the very sensuous moves of two blonde women from Boonville to the truly unique display by Kathy Hulbert, who kindly gave me a bowl of delicious green salad to nibble on as I sat and observed all before me. Yes, Valley Dwellers who were not there, I can assure you it was yet another very good time in The Deep End. Next week it’s ‘The House of Floyd’ – a Pink Floyd Tribute. That’s not my ‘cup of tea’ but I’m sure it is for many of you and I just thought you should know...
The Value of a Drink...Before I go, I’d like to pass on to you, under the heading ‘Life Lessons’, a little advice that you may find useful, even important, at some point as you meander across life’s rich tapestry - ‘The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.’ Obviously I have never done this myself but I can assure you that it is quite common...
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave... Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and, with the continuing warm weather, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle... May your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net