# 177 - September 30th, 2009

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Firstly, I just thought you should know that during last week’s heat wave the odors emanating from the County Dump were particularly pungent and when you have the largest and most effective olfactory (smelling) system of all birds (and therefore an extraordinary sense of smell as we Turkey Vultures most certainly do) yer gotta like that! Enjoy it why you can, I say...
Next up is this week’s edition of the popular ‘A.V. Who’s Who’ and it gives me great pleasure to inform you that the following six Valley folks are the Board Members for The Elderhome Project - President Steve Krieg, Vice-President Karen Ottoboni, Secretary Nancy Wood, Treasurer Maureen Bowman, Aaron Weintraub, and Dave Papke. Keep up the good work guys because as we all know “Age will not be defied” (Francis Bacon)... And while we are quoting wise men why not offer a few words from a wise (and so much more) woman – French actress, animal rights activist, and ‘sex kitten’ from way back, Bridget Bardot who said, “It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.” Wow - the mind boggles but whatever she says is fine with me. And those are your Quotes of the Week...
Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... One of our customers informed us that he’d read that General Motors had started to sell cars on e-Bay. I can only comment that with this kind of innovative thinking, GM will perhaps someday be as successful as my mother's homemade candle business! (?)...
... Talking of small, family-owned businesses, I stopped by A.V. Farm Supply just north of Philo last week and found that Dave and Nancy Gowan, together with son Mark, are steadily building up inventory following their return to the business they ran for twenty-seven years until ‘retiring’ a couple of years ago. It will take time but they are enjoying being ‘back in the saddle’ and Dave tells me his hay is some of the best they have ever had – competitively priced with many others too! We at The Three-Dot wish the enterprise all the best...
... Here are the final results in the ‘Tourists in the Poison Oak picking Berries’ Sweepstakes. Three-Dot regulars who have made ‘wagers’ on this will be interested to know that in the month of September, as I flew up and down the Valley between Boonville and Navarro, I spotted 21 berry-picking tourists, 9 of whom were in the Poison Oak. When will they learn?...
... Although many deserved plaudits were offered for the efforts put in by the organizers of the County Fair, a couple of negative comments were heard and, as the Valley Curmudgeon Designate, it’s probably my ‘job’ to report them... Both were time issues, the first being the extraordinary long time it took to complete the goat judging which delayed the Sam Prather Dinner on Saturday evening for over two hours and secondly on Sunday there was a inexplicable delay in the Parade. I’m sure good reasons are available for each, and I tried explaining that ‘Boonville Time’ was in effect all weekend. Nevertheless, I guess times were printed in the program and turned out to be way off so I’m just passing on the feelings of some disgruntled Three-Dot regulars and, I imagine, several others too...
Oh, dear, have I upset somebody with constructive criticism or comment? Why does that happen around here? I guess I should get my coat and leave... Meanwhile, be careful out there, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and, with the continuing hot weather, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle... May your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 176 - September 23rd, 2009

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... A short column this week so let’s get going in with another in the popular series ‘Anderson Valley’s Who’s Who’. It would seem to be the perfect time for me to inform you of those who played such a big part in putting together last weekend’s County Fair. Here they are - The Fair’s Board of Directors - President Wayne Hiatt, V.P. Craig Titus, Treasurer Eva Johnson, Members Bill Holcomb, Frank Wyant, Lindsay Clow, and Morgan Baynham, and Staff - Jim Brown, Cecilia Pardini, Larry Tenney, and Dale Thiess. Great job, one and all!
With the Fair, and the amount of effort on behalf of so many community-minded individuals in mind, an appropriate Quote of the Week on community service comes from Spanish novelist (‘Don Quixote’) and poet, Miguel de Cervantes who wisely commented, more than four hundred years ago, “When the head aches, all the members partake of the pain.” Let’s hope all the headaches were worth it for everyone concerned and that we can enjoy the fruits of their labors once again next year...
Now on to a couple of Public Service Announcements... #83 – It’s the last weekend of the Month so must mean - The Barn Sale! All the action takes place at The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville where you’ll get great bargains and delicious BBQ on Sept 26th and 27th from 9am to 3pm each day (food served from 11am to 2pm)... #84 – The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital are back in the Valley tomorrow (9/24) at the A.V. Farm Supply just north of Philo on Hwy 128. Sign up is after 1pm and they will be there from 2pm to 3.30pm. Please take advantage of this great service for your pet’s needs...
Finally, I have the answer to last week’s important question, ‘Will the corn dogs at The Fair be as good and as unhealthy as ever?’ It’s unreservedly a big ‘Yes’. Many people raved enthusiastically about them but I must complain that with the ‘Jumbo’ the size of a small child I could only eat one!...
I’m outta here...Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and, with the hot weather back again, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle... May your god go with you and, of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

# 175 - September 16th, 2009

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... And let’s move right into some topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... Let’s start with some intriguing questions that were raised about this weekend’s County Fair... Will the attendance be an increase on last year’s disappointing numbers?... Will the infamous “Large-breasted Boonville Flasher’ once again expose herself to Sheriff Tom Allman as he rides in the Parade?... Will the A.V. Brewery’s Supreme Leader, Ken Allen, jump to the front of the line upon his arrival at the Sam Prather Dinner on Saturday night?... Will the Varsity Football team put a ‘big hurt’ on Laytonville in The Apple Bowl?... Will there be any sheep wounded at the Sheep Dog Trial?... Will Pickles the Clown scare any small children?... Will any teenage girls run off with a Carny?... Will the corn dogs be as good and as unhealthy as ever?... Will I win the Carrion-Eating Contest for the fifth year in succession?... All this, and possibly more, will be revealed at The Mendocino County Fair and Apple Show this coming weekend, September 18th – 20th...
...A betting pool has started amongst regulars at The Three-Dot to see who can correctly guess the number of tourists in the month of September whom I spot pulled off on to the shoulder of Hwy 128 between Boonville and Navarro feverishly picking raspberries as I fly up and down the Valley. Bonus points are available to those who also guess the number who are in a thicket of poison oak as they unsuspectingly gather their ‘amazing’ find...
And that leads very nicely into the Quote of the Week, this time from the brilliant mind of Irish playwright and socialist, George Bernard Shaw. Incidentally he is the only person to win both a Nobel Prize (for Literature in 1925) and an Oscar (Best Screenplay in 1938 for ‘Pygmalion,’ later ‘My Fair Lady’) – now you know and can impress friends! But I digress - G.B.S. wisely noted, “Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich – something for nothing.” Meanwhile, with two weeks to go, it’s 11 raspberry pickers, of which 4 were in poison oak...
Public Service Announcements…#73 – I’ve already mentioned the County Fair taking place this coming weekend, however, I would like to remind some of you, particularly the younger generation, that it is not all about the carnival rides and looking cool with your date – important though such pastimes certainly are. Try to also check out the various display halls of arts, crafts, agriculture, etc, along with the impressive livestock corrals, the traditional rodeo, and the always-exciting sheep dog trials. This Fair is a really unique event and one of a dying breed, so why not broaden your horizons and enjoy everything ‘The Best Little Fair in the West’ has to offer? In my humble opinion, that would be cool too... #74 – Despite the Fair, I have been assured by the lovely Dance Groovette, Jennifer, that this Friday (9/18) will also see the monthly Dance Groove at The Grange on Hwy 128. It starts at 7.30pm and for those wishing to ‘get their Grange Groove on’ with D.J. Pete and get away from the heaving mass of fair go’ers, it’s the perfect scene... #75 – The final event in the Summer Live Music series at The Navarro Store takes place on Saturday night (9/19) with an appearance by the Hansen and Raitt Band. If you are looking for an evening among the redwoods, away from the big crowds, with some excellent music, food, and drink, I can’t think of a better place to be this weekend...
Well, now I think it’s time to take my leave and work on my carrion guzzling technique for the Fair... Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and, with the hot weather still with us, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle... May your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 174 - September 9th, 2009

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... What a busy Labor Day weekend! I attended the wonderful wedding of Denise Mattei and Alan Kendall in Philo on Saturday – an event which provided the opportunity/reason/excuse for the reunion of many old friends most of whom originally arrived in the Valley during the ‘tidal wave of immigration’ in the seventies. It was quite a ‘group hug’ and those of us not in that particular ‘wave’ were made to feel very welcome too, certainly helped by the delicious food provided by Burt and the Gang from Boont Berry... Hummingbird and I were then able to spend a delightful Sunday afternoon celebrating Robert Mailer Anderson’s Birthday with the Anderson Clan and friends up at The Ranch on Hwy 253. With savory tacos provided by Alicia (of Alicia’s) and Hemmingway’s favorite El Floridita daiquiri’s flowing freely, courtesy of bartender Robert himself, a lovely time was had by all. Despite the Scottish heritage it was not quite a case of the ‘Show me what’s under your kilt and I’ll show you what’s under mine?’ but a wild time was certainly in the offing as I left in the late afternoon and headed back down the hill to the Valley... I rounded off the holiday by attending the Blues Festival at The Navarro Store & Grill featuring Rick Derringer, Edgar Winter, and Johnnie Winter. It was a really tremendous show, once again presented by impresario Dave Evans ably assisted by his excellent staff, crew, and Pablo on the Grill. I believe there is one more show this year – this Saturday evening (Sept 19th) and that’s it. Hopefully Dave will be able to do it again in 2010 – the Summer Nights Live Music Series is a very special regular event he has brought to the Valley and long may it continue...
All that ‘partying’ and ‘mirth’ leads me very nicely to the Quote of the Week which comes from seventeenth century English writer, Izaak Walton, who said, “I love such mirth as does not make friends ashamed to not look upon each other next morning.” Well, I’d face anyone I spent time with this past weekend, something I cannot say every Monday morning!...
Now it’s time to talk about the main topic of conversation this week at The Three-Dot Lounge, my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... The A.V. Museum on Hwy 128 in the Little Red Schoolhouse by the Elementary School is certainly one of the Valley’s hidden treasures. I say ‘hidden’ because it would appear to be that way based on the small number of visitors passing through there these days. Several Three-Dot regulars have expressed their disappointment at this and are trying to think of a way to boost those numbers. Any ideas? The Museum is a marvelous place and the A.V. Historical Society has done a truly wonderful job as they continue to improve and add to the exhibits and keep the venture going. I have been to many, many museums in my time and this little gem is right up there amongst the best - you will not be disappointed if/when you go. The Museum is open every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday from 1pm to 4pm, and the docent on duty will be delighted to share their knowledge with you I’m sure...
Appropriately, this week’s edition in the series ‘Anderson Valley’s Who’s Who’ is non-other than The Anderson Valley Historical Society board which consists of President Jim Hill. V.P. Hayes Brennan, Secretary/Treasurer Sheri Hansen, and board members Vicky Center, Joann Borges, Bob and Sandra Nimmons, Joanie Clark, Christine Clark, Marvin Schenk, Joyce Christen, with back-up docents, Diane Herron, Donna Reilly, and Lucille Estes. Many thanks to one and all – keep up the goods work!
I’m outta here... Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and, with the hot weather still with us, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle... May your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
p.p.s. Thanks to reader Carol Pankovits for politely pointing out my slip of the pen when describing Henry Miller as a playwright instead of novelist in a recent Quote of the Week. As my Latin teacher would have said, “Never mind, Vulture, even Homer nods.”

# 173 - September 2nd, 2009

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Although I was unable to attend the I.C.W. meeting last Wednesday evening (not being invited didn’t help matters), I have been reliably informed that Sheriff Deputy Craig Walker gave an interesting and informative talk to the Valley’s Independent Career Women in attendance. I’m not sure if Christine Clark was there but it should be known (and probably is) that she is Christine Clark and not Clarke as I mistakenly wrote recently. My sincere apologies to her and her forebears – it won’t happen again...
I have met and spoken with Deputy Walker on several occasions and have been impressed with his outlook on the do’s and don’ts of rural policing here in the Valley. He has attended many community events in his short time here and his presence has always been subtle and unobtrusive, with many locals offering high praise for the job he has done so far. Walker is from Berkeley and, whilst I would not wish our local law enforcement to be in the hands of a typical warm and fuzzy Bezerkeley-ite liberal, over zealous in his political correctness, he would appear to be different, in a good way. Let’s hope we get to keep him around – he may turn out to be the perfect choice if we require someone with an open mind and a clear sense of justice for all when it comes to the ‘protect and serve’ that the police are apparently here to do...
That leads me very nicely to the Quote of the Week – an observation that I have always enjoyed and would like to think cannot be applied to our new man on the job. It comes from the Irish poet, writer, and republican, Brendan Behan, who once said ”I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn’t make it worse.” Yer gotta like a bit of Irish humor, eh, Deputy!
Before I get arrested, let’s move quickly on to the next installment in the series, ‘Anderson Valley’s Who’s Who’...This week, for your reading pleasure and wider Valley insight, I can hereby reveal the board members of The Chamber of Commerce: Secretary Glad Donohue, Leslie Hummel (All that Good Stuff), Burt Cohen (Boont Berry), Lydia Mosk, (The A.V. Inn), Arline Bloom, Terry McMillan, Cindy Wilder (Boonville Farmers’ Market, etc), and Mary Pat Palmer (Philo School of Herbal Energetics). Quite a crew, eh? And whilst I’m not exactly sure what they do, I’m sure they do it well...
Next up it’s this week’s Public Service Announcements, although this time they are just reminders of regular ‘services’ in the Valley... A quick heads up that the County Dump, a couple of miles up Mountain View Road, is open every Tuesday/Wednesday/Saturday/Sunday from 9am – 4pm each day.... And don’t forget that there is a fine feast for a very reasonable price at 12.30pm every Tuesday and Thursday at the Senior Center in Boonville. Have a chat with a Senior whilst enjoying a lovely meal – surely not a bad couple of hours in anyone’s day...
Now it’s time to talk about the main topic of conversation this week at The Three-Dot Lounge, my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’... The regulars have been discussing the introduction of the signs that have been installed in the middle of the road on Boonville’s pedestrian crossings. From my own observations their future might not be too bright...
As I flew above Hwy 128 in the heart of Boonville the other evening I noticed someone walk across the pedestrian crossing by the Post Office, hesitate in the middle of the road next to the new sign, and then vigorously push it down to the ground. As Bruce Anderson mentioned last week in the paper, the sign is on a spring and thus it immediately bounced back into its upright position and the miscreant ran off giggling before jumping into their car and drove away...Other regulars at The Three-Dot had read Bruce’s prediction that it is only a matter of time before the signs are permanently damaged, but he envisaged it being done by a moving vehicle, not a pedestrian... This leads to the Whine of the Week. The sign is actually a very useful addition, as anyone who has tried to cross there anytime during and after dusk would know. Now oncoming traffic is left in little doubt that there is a crossing in place and pedestrians can cross safe in the knowledge that traffic is aware of them... The person I saw vandalizing the sign is a somewhat respected member of the community (who shall remain nameless) and I get the sense that he/she sees him/herself as wacky and funny. I always thought of them as quite enlightened and smart too. In this instance I would say they showed none of these qualities. It’s not funny and not clever and I would suggest they think of others and wise up – those signs are already facing extinction from the threat of vehicles without the help of ‘wacky’ pedestrians...
Following this Whine, let’s leave The Three-Dot and have a ‘quickie’ (as the Bishop said to the Actress) in the form of the Wine of the Week. It really cannot get much better after a tough day of carrion-guzzling than to sit on one’s deck overlooking the Valley vistas and slurp on some vanilla chocolate chip ice cream whilst sipping superb Port from Meyer Family Cellars of Yorkville. Describing it as ‘orgasmic’ barely does this experience justice and I just thought you should know...
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave... Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and, with the hot weather still with us, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle... May your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net