# 197 - February 24th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin...First an update from the world of higher education – A.V.H.S. alum, Cassidy Hollinger, currently a freshwoman at the illustrious Vassar College in upstate New York, is to play a vital role in her college’s production of ‘Bulrusher’, a play written by Eisa Davis, the niece of sixties political activist Angela Davis and a part-time A.V. resident. The Pulitzer Prize-nominated drama, believe it or not, is centered upon an illegitimate African American girl in the Anderson Valley of 1955 – ‘bulrusher’, for those who are not aware, being the Boontling word for bastard. A total coincidence, of course, but undoubtedly one to which the talented Ms. Hollinger will bring not only her wide array of talents but also plenty of first hand knowledge (of Boonville that is, not of bastards)...
Next up, here’s a couple of Public Service Announcements... #67 – The Vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital are back in the Valley tomorrow, Feb 25th, from 2pm to 3.30pm at the A.V. Farm Supply – save yourself a trip over the hill while supporting a very useful service...#68 – The HazMat (Hazardous Materials) vehicle is at The Fairgrounds parking lot in Boonville on both Saturday and Sunday (Feb 27th and 28th) and you are encouraged to drop off those ‘things’ that are not accepted at The County Dump. Note that dead animals, as with the Dump, are not accepted here either, so just drag them off to a corner of your property and leave them to be dealt with swiftly by us Turkey Vultures - nature’s finest garbage collectors bar none...
Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... The end of the reign of ‘King’ Ken Allen is drawing near. The A.V. Brewery Owner and Supreme Leader is currently in escrow with potential new owners who are very keen to take over his operation. Rumor has it that Ken may be out of the Valley by summertime at the latest. Meanwhile, if anyone has similar feelings at his departure to those they had when Richard Nixon left the White House, it is completely understandable. These are two Machiavellian characters, yet each left their stage with nearly as many supporters as detractors - it’s a funny old world, isn’t it?...
... On a somewhat related note, and to clear up some recent rumors, the co-owner of both “The Boonville Lodge” name and its liquor license holder, Tom Towey, assures me that, if and when he does sell the license and name, he will be doing his very best to keep them in the Valley. Knowing Tom to be a man of his word, I therefore do see perhaps a glimmer of hope for the social scene on the distant horizon...
...Until then, the rampant rumors about the replacement for The Lodge at the now vacant spot in downtown Boonville continue with the latest suggesting a Mexican cantina with a beer and wine license. Now that’s something I’m really not sure about; after all it’s not likely to serve chicken fried steak and real mashed potatoes with a pint of ale is it? Don’t get me wrong; as the Valley’s demographics continue to rapidly change, I’m sure the return of a Mexican bar is imminent (there was one, ‘Mary Jane’s’, many years ago at what is now Lauren’s Restaurant). Furthermore, readers of this column will be aware that as a big fan of the super chicken burrito and a Corona or a carnitas plate with a bottle of Pacifico, I would no doubt be a regular customer at such a bar. But in the meantime, many Valley folks agree that surely there is still a strong need for a traditional American bar and grill of some sort around here... Claws crossed...
... An error was made here last week when it was stated that the high school football team continues to play in black and gold/yellow. They did so for about a decade but thanks to generous contributions by the alumni, this past fall season they were able to revert to brown and gold/yellow, thus joining the baseball team in wearing the traditional school colors... Next up? Hopefully the soccer boys and volleyball girls...
Having earlier mentioned former President Richard Nixon perhaps we should turn to him for the Quote of the Week. It was Tricky Dicky who said, “When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal”... Or this classic, after he had lost the election for Governor of California in 1962, a full twelve years before he was to resign as President, "You won't have Nixon to kick around any more because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference"...If only...
Well now I think it’s time to take my... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
p.p.s. Dave Johnson, owner of the location formerly known as The Boonville Lodge, does not live in the Valley. Some might say that at this point in time he is wise not to do so.
p.p.p.s Two mentions of Richard Nixon in one column. That alone is worth your dollar, I’d say...

# 196 - February 17th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Let’s go straight to The Whine of the Week – I was disappointed to miss the Sweethearts Dance on Saturday at The Grange to raise money for the A.V. Health Center – I hear it went very well... This ‘whine’ is offset by the fact that the reason I was unable to attend was that with my birthday on the 14th (the next day), Hummingbird had prepared a special evening at home featuring Chicken Cacciatore in roasted garlic tomato sauce over pasta, along with a delicious bottle of the 2007 Pinot Noir from Toulouse Winery just north of Philo, followed by our own private ‘sweetheart dance’. This versatile Pinot paired with virtually any Italian dish is a must-try and that’s why it’s the Wine of the Week!
Talking of fine dining experiences, as I often do, I attended the Senior Center lunch last week and now understand what all the fuss is about. Despite a relatively low turnout I was nevertheless honored to find a seat at the ‘top table’ alongside Donna Reilly, Kyllikki ‘Kay’ Clark, Wilma Brink, Joy Frazer, June Lemons, Cleo Hixon, Frank Wyant, and the very friendly senior bus driver, Natalie Matson. Along with the good food, the conversation was lively and lots of fun for all, covering topics such as Valley life in the fifties, the wonderful fresh fish available at Lemons’ Market in Philo, and the fact that long-time center member Bobbie Peterson had moved to Ukiah. At $5 for non-seniors, it was no surprise that local bargain hunter Burton Segal was also in attendance as Pastor Bill and Gloria Abbott served up a delicious meal featuring Brunswick Stew and Gloria’s ‘world famous’ salad bar. The lunch takes place every Tuesday and Thursday at 12.15pm, with a special dinner served on the last Tuesday of each month at 6pm – it’s chicken fried steak etc on Feb 23rd ($7 for non-seniors). I urge you to attend – trust me on this and thank me later!
And for a Quote of the Week what better comment on old age than that of J.F.K.’s Mother, Rose Kennedy, who said, “I am like aged wine. They don’t bring me out very often but when they do I am found to be well-preserved and fine company”... Well that’s certainly the case of those sitting at the ‘top table’ for our Senior Center lunches, I can assure you!
Moving on to a couple of frequently discussed topics at The Three-Dot Lounge these days – the lack of a bar in the Valley and the A.V. High School colors – both subjects that stir the passion in many, particularly the passionate...
... Many Valley folks have come to me over the past couple of months and commented that the owners of the Buckhorn Building (former home of The Buckhorn Saloon and The Highpockety Ox) could feasibly come to the Community’s ‘rescue’ as they have the perfect spot for a bar/restaurant. However, I am reliably informed that they are not ready to take the plunge in that direction at this point in time. That is their prerogative of course. One rumor has it that they are concerned about serving liquor in a place with a few steps outside for customers to negotiate. Hopefully this is not a deciding issue as I imagine hundreds, perhaps thousands, of bars deal with such a situation and operate without a problem; besides, the actual bar/restaurant owners are responsible for getting insurance on this, not the landlord. In time, the owners will perhaps come to see that such an establishment, if run by people who know what they are doing and allowed to operate under a fair and reasonable lease agreement, would be good for them and certainly beneficial to the Valley, providing the much-needed gathering place that so many crave. But I do wonder – “has someone talked them out of it?”...
... Just down the street, rumors abound with regards to what David ‘I’m not the devil’ Johnson plans to do at his ill-gotten (in the opinion of many) location formerly known as The Boonville Lodge. A couple of small tasting rooms for local wineries does not now seem likely – a very sensible decision, I must say. However, the latest I hear is for a beer and wine establishment to be installed in the main room with The Lumberjack Pizza guys returning to the restaurant section - the same location that they infrequently frequented when pretending to be in business there a couple of years ago. I couldn’t possibly comment further...
... As for the school colors, for almost its entire history these have been brown and gold/yellow. I am informed that in 1999 there was a vote taken among the senior class (student athletes who would wear the colors for one more year) and they decided to change to black and gold/yellow, greatly disappointing the vast majority of the alumni from the previous sixty years or so. The disappointment simmered over the years and has turned to a level of annoyance that sees rumblings taking place to resurrect the ‘real’ school colors. Coach Ben Anderson’s school baseball team now plays in the traditional brown and gold/yellow, as do the football Cubs - not actually a school team but one made-up of younger kids attending the school and run by A.V.H.S. alumni. However, the school football team still wears black and gold/yellow, whilst the soccer boys inexplicably wear black and white. The argument that the brown and gold/yellow are either difficult to get or are more expensive is spurious; in fact Lemons’ Philo Market currently has a line of wonderful Panther gear available in the traditional colors. Meanwhile, many of the regulars at The 3-Dot are A.V.H.S. alumni and don’t be surprised that, if and when they manage to re-form the Alumni Association, one of their first acts will be to take steps to ensure that the Panthers once again do ‘battle’ in the true A.V. colors - I’d drink to that (if there was anywhere to go and do so)...
Well, now I think it’s time to take my leave... Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and, with the hot weather now with us, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle... May your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 195 - February 10th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Well, they did it again! Yes folks, Gloria Ross, ‘The Bishop of Boonville’, and her team of volunteers put on a superb evening last Saturday for ‘The Original Crab Feed’ that benefits the St. Elizabeth Seton Church It will surely be hard to beat for the 2010 Best Valley Event Award. From the always delightful social hour, where everyone seems to know almost everyone else amongst a wide assortment of over three hundred Valley folks, to the excellent ‘Feed’ itself, ably complemented by some perfectly paired Valley wines from Esterlina Winery, thru’ the raffle expertly hosted by John Schultz, to the late bar (specifically arranged as there is nowhere else to go for a cocktail in the Valley these days) hosted by the smiling and efficient Danny Kuny and his Crew, the whole night was a rip-roaring success. I was driven home at 11pm with my five-year record of being the last guest to leave this event finally at an end, but it didn’t matter. The company, food, and drink, had all been first class and at the end of the day nothing else really matters at a social gathering, does it?
My personal highlights, apart from the delicious crab, steaming hot garlic bread, and zesty salad, would include the wonderful mix of Valley people (unlike at any other pure Valley event); the raucous chant of ‘We want Crab!’ by about a dozen guests that a certain person amongst them had started when he saw everyone else in the room eating and not a crab in sight for him and his friends; the stimulating and frequently light-hearted conversation (considering the subject matter) I enjoyed with Jesse Slotte and Ruben ‘Hopper’ Martinez (wounded veterans of Iraq and Vietnam respectively); the attentive wait-staff (apart from those first few anxious pre-crab minutes); Hummingbird winning the much sought-after prize of cuddly monkey and vase stuffed with biscotti; a never-before-seen voluptuous woman whispering breathlessly and suggestively to me as I stood around holding that same toy, ‘I love your monkey’; volunteer Bill Holcomb, having finally sat down and enjoyed his own crab feed, getting up once again to continue clearing stuff away; and Bill Teague announcing with pride, “This is fantastic - I grew up with most of these people, it’s just great!”. Yes, it certainly was a very special night and many thanks are extended to all who made it happen.
The next day it was Super Bowl Sunday – the only event that truly unites the national gaze in this country; it’s become a de facto national holiday in effect. Despite the usual excessive amount of ads for the U.S. Armed Forces and a highly inflammable anti-abortion one paid for by Focus on Family (despite C.B.S.’s claim that it has Super Bowl rules against ‘advocacy ads’), some of the ads were quite good and the game itself entertaining. With the New Orleans Saints claiming to be ‘America’s Team’ I was rooting for the Colts of Indianapolis and, for entertainment purposes only, had made a ‘gentleman’s agreement’ with several other ‘gentlemen’ that the Colts would win by at least six points. If you’ve just come out of your bunker, it finished 31-17 to the no-longer ‘Aints, who won their first title and cost me more than a little, if the truth be told.
Fresh from my ‘defeat’ at the Super Bowl, for a relevant Quote of the Week I offer these somewhat curmudgeonly words from a certain George Washington – “Gambling is the child of avarice, the brother of iniquity, and the father of mischief.” I can only assume from this that Mr. Washington must have had his money on the Colts!
Now to a Public Service Announcement near and dear to my heart... Cheryl Schrader and her small crew of volunteers continue to do a marvelous job with the Anderson Valley Animal Rescue and her exceptional offer to spay and neuter all cats and kittens will remain open until April 1st. They are doing about 250 a month and by calling her at 895-3785 she will provide this important service FREE of charge. Please take her up on this and let’s take control of what is an increasingly serious issue. (I also have it on the best authority that Cheryl might also be able to help if it’s a dog you want to have spayed or neutered instead – call her). On a related topic, I am still surprised at how many dogs get out of their homes and are rescued/found only to be without tags and thus the whereabouts of their owners is difficult to find. I have mentioned this before but for about $8 (including free shipping) you can order a tag from the guys at www.tagxpress.com . By doing so you will have some peace of mind and it will certainly be to the relief of the person who finds your pet. Please trust me on this...
Moving quickly, and finally, on to the main topic under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge... We had a special guest at The 3-Dot this week when Barn Owl showed up and reminded us all to bring our sweethearts to The Sweetheart Dance at The Grange on Saturday, February 13th. Catfish Jack and Friends will open the evening and Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys will follow with toe-tapping dance tunes. Tickets are $10 per person and the proceeds will go to support health care services at the Anderson Valley Health Center, where Barn Owl informs me that old folks, school kids, and even the occasional Turkey Vulture who has eaten too much crab, can get the health care they need...
I’m outta here - I have to see a man about a sheep... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 194 - February 3rd, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... A brief column this week as I have had little time to get out and about having spent all weekend at the A.V. Film Festival being informed, enlightened, disturbed, annoyed, beguiled, absorbed, amused, and entertained – and all for the good cause of benefiting the old folks, the school kids, and the animals. Yer gotta like that!
Let’s get going with a couple of important of Public Service Announcements... # 127: As mentioned last week the Vets from Ukiah’s Mendocino Animal Hospital will be here tomorrow, Feb 4th, at the Farm Supply from 2pm to 3.30pm (and again on Feb 25th)... #128: The Original Crab Feed, quite possibly the best Valley event of the year in my humble opinion, is at The Apple Hall in Boonville this Saturday, Feb 6th – 6pm Social Hour, 7pm Dinner. Call Gloria (895-3071) for ticket details – they will sell out... #129: As of February 1st, 2010, The Boonville Lodge was officially no more. The Valley does not have a bar...
With this last ‘Announcement’ in mind I have nothing more obvious to say for the Quite of the Week than to offer you the Italian proverb, “Big mouthfuls often choke.” David Johnson, electrician of Sonoma and landlord of the business formerly known as ‘The Boonville Lodge’, certainly seems to have taken a very big mouthful in this latest case of unbridled landlord greed...
Moving quickly on to a few questions that were posed this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, at a location known only to ‘those in the know’... Who is the guy who walks the dogs from the Animal Rescue along Hwy 128 and beyond? He does this in all weathers and I have never seen him without a smile on his face. He’s my hero... Who was the guy with a ‘stall’ at the Grange Craft Fair on Sunday who, with the use of blatant lies, tried to get free food and drink from the young schoolgirl volunteers working at the Film Festival concession stand inside? This jerk is not my hero... Has ‘King’ Ken Allen really sold the A.V. Brewery? Regulars at the 3-Dot tell me negotiations were stalled until he took himself out of the picture and, lo and behold, rational thinking was allowed to prosper and a deal has apparently been made. I think we should be told...
Moving on from The Three-Dot and the important questions being asked there, here are two more proposals that will certainly be on my manifesto when I run for the position of Mayor of Anderson Valley in 2020... 1. When people are asked a question about something of which they know nothing or very little, they should be encouraged to simply say, “I don’t know”. That is a fine, succinct answer and is a very acceptable response is such instances. It will also save everyone lots of time. Failure to do so and to drone on endlessly in an uninformed way will be met with the severest of penalties... 2. Chocolate Chip Vanilla Ice Cream will be in plentiful supply at every grocery store in The Valley or fines will be enforced, the proceeds of which will go to the Valley’s Christmas Tree Fund…
I’m outta here - I have to see a man about a sheep... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!
p.p.s. Where the hell can a few buddies and myself get together for a drink around here?