#39 - September 28th, 2005

In The Valley Living section of this paper last week I read with great interest about the actions of a Mendocino County Animal Care and Control Officer by the name of George Hodgson. I recognized the name immediately as it is one which sparks fear and loathing into the heart and mind of this particular dog owner, and may be quite a few others too. On this occasion he followed the law to the letter, apparently, and euthanized a dog, Buddy, within an hour of the dog's arrival, even though Cheryl Schrader of The Anderson Valley Animal Rescue was in attendance and pleading with him to contact the original owners to ask permission to buy the dog from them. She believed strongly that a caring owner would be found. He refused, saying there was a law which stated that if his department is paid to put down a dog they are obliged to do so. There is no such actual law but the Animal Care and Control Department clearly have their own policy. Result - the dog's life was ended anyway.
Cheryl contacted his superiors and asked that he be reprimanded. Perhaps not surprisingly they defended his actions but they did agree that it was not a good policy when a new home could be found and all it would have taken in this case was a phone call to the owners. That would be too much to expect with Hodgson in charge. When asked, he refused to show Cheryl evidence of this law because, as it turned out, he couldn't. He is what may be referred to as a "jobsworth" - i.e. when required to show some initiative or to make a reasoned decision which may not be the "normal" way of doing things, he acts as if this straying from the norm would be more than his " job's worth". Aren't "jobsworths" annoying ? In this case, disturbingly so…..
Now you may be thinking that these comments based somewhat on hearsay are not appropriate in this esteemed organ. On that you may possibly be correct. You may also believe that this is personal. On this you'd be exactly right ! This is a man who caused me and my loved ones great personal grief and I wish him much ill-fortune - like elephants, we Turkey Vultures do not forget….. However, not only have I personally been on the receiving end of one of Hodgson's illogical, cruel, and quite unnecessary rulings when dealing with my own dog, but I should emphasize that I am also aware of other instances where the actions and unreasonable decisions made by both Hodgson and the Mendocino Animal Care and Control regarding the care of cats and dogs have shown a complete lack of compassion and led to undue grief and stress for both the animals and their owners.....
When Hodgson's name is mentioned at a certain veterinary hospital in Ukiah I have witnessed raised eyebrows and heard disturbing stories about his actions in the past. I believe the episode involving Buddy was just another unfortunate incident featuring this "wannabe cop" who apparently failed in his attempts to achieve that particular position. In my dealings with him, his demeanor, actions, and skills with both dogs and people, were deplorable for a public official in his line of work. I honestly do believe he dislikes dogs.
What is being done by the County with regard to any form of investigation into the needless death of Buddy ? …What about the the incident regarding the euthanizing of most of the animals transferred from Fort Bragg shelter to the Ukiah center which was reported in an article in the Ukiah Journal in early September? Hodgson was involved in this transfer and was responsible for the animals' "well-being" in Ukiah. What is being done regarding any investigations into that awful sequence of events?
Now, in the past few hours, the latest rumor/news I have received is that Hodgson may be in line for the Manager's job for the Animal Care and Control Center at the Ukiah Shelter. Is this the kind of man we want in this line of work, never mind this important position ? You can register your comments about this situation or any other regarding the actions of George Hodgson by contacting the County's Chief Executive Officer, John Ball, either by e-mail at < coadminIn@co.mendocino.ca.us > or by phone at 707- 463-4441 or your own County supervisor, whoever that may be. Please do not hesitate if you have a comment about the episodes above or something to add which may help prevent Mr. Hodgson from continuing, and possibly expanding, his "reign"…..
In my experience Hodgson has the moral conscience of a coyote when it comes to dealing with domestic animals and perhaps others have similar tales to tell. I suspect there may be quite a few of you out there and if anyone wishes to do so they can also contact me at < turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net > and I will forward all your comments through the necessary channels and hopefully get something done about this unsatisfactory state of affairs…Meanwhile, who is Hodgson accountable to ? Have they received complaints about him before ? Do they think he does a good job ? I think we should be told…Until that happens, George, if I was you I'd look out and listen up, people are watching and talking…..
If Hodgson, or anyone else for that matter, wishes to know who my full name as a result of reading the above comments feel free to get in touch via the e-mail address and I will gladly put your mind at rest if it makes you feel any better …..
And with that I bid you a fond farewell for another week…My ramblings have clearly been a little different this time but I believe the topic deserves such attention, even from a carrion-muncher like myself…Please do take a few moments to contact one of the above with your concerns -it's a phone call or brief message and it might mean so much to so many animals…Now I must depart, but before I go you know what we have to do, don't you ?…That's right, "Let us prey"…
....Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture.....
....Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture.....

#38 - September 21st, 2005

The first Monday night of the football season saw a decent game between Atlanta and Philadelphia but, perhaps more importantly, it was also the first opportunity for me to try the pizza now on offer (along with wine) at The T.R. - The Brewery Tasting Room, also referred to as 'Gotham' in some quarters…Well the verdict is in and I have to say it's a good pie, particularly the pepperoni with some extra garlic salami topping, courtesy of Cappy the Pizza Guy, provided for certain selected customers. The wines currently on offer are from The Valley's Esterlina Winery on Holmes Ranch Road and feature a delicious, crisp, Chablis-like Chardonnay and a full-bodied, velvety Merlot. With The Buckhorn Saloon, or whatever it is to be called, still closed and progress towards a new ownership stalled at this point, the T.R. is the place to go for your fine beverages and a good slice of pie…..
As uplifting as that news is for some of us in the community, I have to report the recent disappointment felt by another group in our midst - the Junior Varsity boys soccer players. I'm referring to the situation which arose last week when their game in St. Helena had to be cancelled due to lack of transport to and from the game. After three months of hard work at practice and a commitment to the team, it just doesn't seem right that the school offers the sport but then is unable to provide transport. It would be great if the parents could help out and the coaches told me that this had been tried but for various reasons none of them were able to and so the game was called off. I imagine that budget constraints are the main reason for this unsatisfactory state of affairs but surely something will be done to ensure it doesn't happen again ?…..
Crime of the Week - From near to the corner of Hwy 128 on Hwy 253 the new sign announcing that The A.V. Brewery was just ahead has been stolen ! This sign had been painstakingly installed by Todd Capuzelo, Tasting Room Manager at The Brewery. He is at a loss to explain why this innocuous sign was taken or who might be responsible for its disappearance although, like myself, he is well aware that some people around these parts are not exactly enamoured with The Brewery's presence. Over the coming days, the obvious suspects will be thoroughly investigated by my team of probing reporters but, whilst I have my suspicions, I couldn't possibly comment further at this time…..
Speaking of my team of reporters, I received the following on my desk from one of these brave people embedded in the Nation's capital - 'In light of recruiting shortfalls, a near standstill in re-enlistment, and rock-bottom troop morale, U.S. Marine Corps Commandant Gen. Michael Hagee announced Monday that the Marines will alter their unofficial slogan to just "The Few". Furthermore, Hagee said, "We are still the Marines, the premier combat arm of the U.S. military", and added that The Marines will change their motto to Semper Fidelis, Sic Non Sapienti, or "Always Faithful, But This Is Just Ridiculous." '…..
Well the Mendocino County Fair is over for another year and once again, by all accounts, it was a success and it continues to be one of the best county fairs in the country I am reliably informed. I'm sure others will give full reports on the event elsewhere in this newspaper and my experience this year was somewhat limited. However, as a bonus, it began quite unexpectedly on Thursday evening as I found myself flying over downtown Boonville when I noticed a hive of activity at the Fairgrounds. I had to investigate and sure enough I found the place alive with folks busy setting up their booths, stalls, displays, animal bedding, etc, etc for the Fair starting officially on Friday lunchtime…Surprisingly I soon found myself gravitating towards The A.V. Brewery stand and was greeted by the smiling face of Head Brewer, Dave Gatlin, who promptly served me a delicious cold one - for quality control purposes only, of course. Numerous other obvious suspects assembled at this spot over the next couple of hours and I enjoyed a very pleasant evening in their company, somewhat enhanced I must say by my consumption of two very large (jumbo) corn dogs - awful things but very tasty with mustard and beer I have to say…..
I was back the next evening and delayed the inevitable feasting until I had watched some of the Apple Bowl football game between A.V. High and Mendocino High. It was a tight game and all the action was knowledgeably commentated on by Dan "Big Voice" Houk performing an admirable job as p.a. announcer… The 'good guys' were leading 6-0 at the end of the first quarter when I departed for the Lions' Club bar where I encountered the smiling face of bartender Olie Erikson and Justin Clark. At $4 a beer (10 oz ?) it was a little steep but I'm sure it's for a good cause. I continued my explorations and bumped into numerous friends and acquaintances as I strolled around the grounds and halls admiring the efforts of the many exhibitors - what a treat this is and certainly a 'must see' for all…
Friday at The Fair is always my favorite night. It's when the festivities seem to host more of a local, Anderson Valley crowd compared to the Saturday night scene when people from all over the region turn up…I finally made my 'big' decision of the evening and ate a tri-tip sandwich (good) and fries (poor) before returning to the football for the final quarter and witnessing the end of the local heroes' defeat by the score of 6-14…It was time for more beer and conversation before, at around 10pm, Hummingbird insisted on taking me back to The Nest for some late night 'nibbling and carousing'…I was unavoidably out of town for the rest of the weekend but I'd had a wonderful evening. "Well done" to the people who contribute so much of their time and effort to the organizing of this excellent event and also to those who partake in the wide range of events and competitions…..I'm looking forward to next year already…..
For some reason my brain hurts so I'm outta here earlier than usual…But first let me say, "Let us prey"….Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…..

#37 - September 14th, 2005

In my continuing attempts to help with the 'dating game' in and around these parts, I now offer the latest "desirable bachelor" for your perusal…"Heavy drinker,35, Yorkville area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man who loves his beer, cigarettes, and starting fights in bars at two o'clock in the morning."…Don't get caught in the rush !…..
Two items of 'Enlightening News' from my intrepid reporters 'embedded' in the Nation's Capital…
Firstly, 'The Senate Armed Services Committee issued a rebuke of the International Red Cross Monday, accusing the organization of wartime non-profiteering. "The Red Cross is exploiting the current conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan to extend its money-losing influence over international medical aid and emergency relief," said Chairman John Warner (R-VA). "Whatever their stated mission, the Red Cross exists only to fatten its blood banks and care packages." The accusations come only weeks after Iraqi officials accused the International Red Crescent, the IRC's Muslim branch, of masterminding multiple acts of humaniterrorism….'
And even more enlightening perhaps…'During a Monday press conference, President George "It has been brought to my attention that there was recently a bad storm" Bush repeatedly interrupted the question-and-answer period to seek out praise from the press corps. Still seemingly ignorant of the enormity of the disaster to have hit the Gulf coast, he ranted, "Man, that Social Security speech I gave last night, people are saying that might be one of my best ones yet", before pausing and raising his eyebrows expectantly at the correspondents in the front row. "Yep, sure felt like I nailed it... So..." …Getting no bites, Bush changed the subject, mentioning that he picked out his own suit for the conference, but wasn't really sure if it looked good on him…..'
Moving on...Reading the 'Valley People' section of this newspaper over the past couple of weeks it has come to my attention that I am accused of being "green" (naïve) when it comes to a number of issues in The Valley. I can't argue with that…Just as a "withered brown" mindset exists amongst some in this area, the contrasting presence of the "refreshing greenery" of myself and many others is certainly in no doubt - all part of the rich tapestry of Anderson Valley, wouldn't you say ? For that I am glad, but rather a "Refreshing Greenie" than a "Withered Brownie" in my book, and, whilst I am a huge fan of tradition, I do like the idea of some subtle changes (and some not so subtle) if they in any way improve the everyday socialization in, and enjoyment of, The Valley…..
Besides all this, the particular 'attacks' on my "greenness" were a little off target. Firstly, knowing that there are a number of people in The Valley who are adept at "making a short story long" is actually something I have long been aware of and it is not, as my detractors suggest, a state of affairs that I have just discovered…Secondly, regarding my recent "green" (naïve) defense of the wineries, I simply questioned the remarks, again in the Valley People' section, which directly compared the wineries' 'evil-doings' in our community to the damage done to individuals by methamphetamines… Along with many other avid A.V.A. readers with whom I have spoken on this matter, I found this comparison ridiculous……
However, and not for the first time, for some reason "ms", the newspaper's 'major contributor' and thus leading "Enforcer" on the esteemed organ of A.V.A. supremo, Mr.Severn, concerned himself with a completely different issue in his reply. He failed to address my comments, preferring instead to rant about the actions of The Duckhorn Winery (a.k.a. Golden Eye here in The Valley). This rant is perfectly acceptable of course but it was not relevant to the question I had raised. Is this some sort of "attention deficit post traumatic syndrome tendency" on the part of "ms" ? (Hopefully not as he generally seems to be a pleasant fellow.) May be he just decided to avoid explaining the bizarre comparison made by "somebody" in the A.V.A. hierarchy ?…Either way, I think we should be told…..
Enough of this bickering…It's time to reflect on a pleasant couple of hours I spent last Thursday evening. Firstly, I thoroughly enjoyed the scene at the High School with both the boys and girls soccer and the J.V. Football teams all practicing hard. The football program will only be competing at the J.V. level this year. This is disappointing of course but on hearing the sound reasoning by Coach Schrider it certainly seems to be the only way to go, given the players available. They open their schedule at The Fairgrounds in Boonville this Friday, September 17th in The Apple Bowl, a traditional opener to The Mendocino County Fair… I was very aware that the N.F.L. season was starting that evening and so I left the practice fields to catch the the kick-off at The T.R. (A.V. Brewery Tasting Room) or, as some now refer to it, Gotham - "a village known for the oddness of its inhabitants" (Webster's Encyclopedic Dictionary)…..
T.R. Manager, Todd "The Joker" Capuzzelo, was on top of things as usual behind the bar with pizza (yes, pizza !) being served - I wasn't hungry (!?!?) so my evaluation will have to wait… Wine was also available for the first time in Gotham !... A few regulars were in attendance plus an interesting group of attractive twenty-somethings from the Solar"Institute in Hopland, not to mention Peter Suddeth, long-time brewery employee and "Robin" to owner Ken Allen's "Batman". Peter was less concerned with the Oakland/New England match-up and more interested in having someone explain to him an aspect of the Theory of Relativity which he couldn't quite grasp. Kim "Catwoman" Allen seemed amused at his consternation whilst I ( "The Penguin") offered some words of "wisdom". Peter wasn't satisfied and shortly thereafter left the proceedings with a puzzled look on his face, muttering, "Holy underwear, where's Einstein when you need him ?"…..
I departed shortly after and as dusk approached I drove through downtown Boonville and enjoyed the friendly greetings of numerous locals out and about on a beautiful evening. These smiling, waving citizens included KZYX's Burton Segal at Moya's Taco stand - a wise man indeed; downtown residents Robert and Dee Dee as they walked to their hangout behind The Redwood Drive-In; Anna Kamitses (new science teacher at the High School) and Bridget Reilly (marketing guru at The Brewery, not to mention a wearer of many other hats) who were walking along together, deep in conversation with Jake the Dog at their side; and a number of people outside The Boonville Lodge who shall remain nameless…What a lovely place in which to live, I thought…and this was emphasized moments later when I glanced at the brown bag in the passenger seat beside me and remembered that inside were a few ears of sweet fresh corn. These are the best I have ever eaten and they were from The A.V. Farm Supply where Dave Gowan picks them every morning. Go on, treat yourself to some - you deserve it and can thank me later…..
No Whine nor Wine of the Week; no Useful Word either - hey I'm sure you've noticed the sharp increase in the fresh carrion on Hwy 128 in the past few days so I've been very busy cleaning up…But I still have time to propose an exciting idea - "let us prey !"…May your god go with you and stay out of the ditches…..Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…..

#36 - September 7th, 2005

Greetings to one and all. Let's start this week on the topic of 'the pursuit of love'…I'm assuming that a number of you out there missed the following piece in a recent 'Personals column' so please read on… "Single white male from the Boonville area in a dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation. I'm 40, but look 50 and feel 60. I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.
"My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sleazy bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. No friendships. I don't need any goddamn friends….Serious replies only, please."…..
Wow ! Quite a catch, eh ?… But surely he would have been snapped up quicker than someone like Gloria Steinem could say, "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle"…..
Moving on…Recently I attended a most enjoyable evening at The Golden Eye Winery just south of Philo. The winery had kindly invited numerous Tasting Room Staff from other wineries to taste their wines and 'devour' (in my case) the fine food. Naturally, anytime there is an event of this nature I have "a quiet word" with some of the 'movers and shakers' around here and secure my own invitation. It was a perfect summer evening, the wines delicious, the crowd vibrant, and the only negative aspect of the event was unfortunately a discussion concerning a recent comment in the A.V.A. This had appeared in the 'Valley People" section a few weeks ago and it tried to make a direct comparison between the obvious damage done to individuals by methamphetamines and the apparent harm caused to whole communities by the Winery business. I'm not sure who wrote this stuff, one of the usual suspects from the Anti-Fun Brigade I assume, but seriously, aren't a large majority of the people living here in some way positively effected by the winery/brewery business or have loved ones or family members who are ? Sometimes I am at a loss as to why these particular commercial ventures are continually targeted…Is there an objective reason for this ?… I think we should be told…..
On my visit to The County Dump outside Boonville one afternoon last week, my good buddy, Ron the Dump Guy, was in a bit of a quandary. People had been paying the minimum $2.75 charge with $20 bills all day long and he was now out of $5 and $10 bills. As a result, anyone with a $20 was getting singles for their change and obviously these were also running out quickly…Poor Ron needs $20 bills like he needs a dead animal to deal with, so in future please try to turn up with smaller bills if you could. Ron's a good man and he'd appreciate your efforts…And while I'm thinking about The Dump, which I like to do, let me just remind you that the new hours are now in effect. From September 1st they are open from 9am to 4pm, four days a week - Tuesday, Wednesday, and at weekends…Knock yourselves out !…..
Well the good news is that the introduction of the controversial "Three Sentence Rule" to The Valley social scene is clearly going very well. For those who may not be aware, this "rule" is to be applied in a social situation when a speaker is "making a short story long" for their listeners. At the point when insufferable boredom has been reached, one of the long-suffering audience holds up three fingers and the speaker gracefully ends the 'soliloquy' and everyone, including the offender, has a good laugh. (Please note that the "three sentence" length is an arbitrary amount and is not meant as a firm rule, merely a rough guideline - trust me, you'll know when to raise your fingers)…And incidentally, I have kindly offered to buy a beer for my listeners if I personally ever receive the "Three Fingers"…
With that in mind, as I was driving out of the Philo Post Office parking lot last Thursday, I passed Scott "I'm a Scotsman" Fraser, who is not only still recuperating from his recent collision with the "rotten entrails of a possum" but is also the son-in-law of A.V.A. Supremo, David Severn. On seeing me and hearing my brief greeting, "Hi, Scott, how are you doing?", he unhesitatingly gave me the "Three Fingers" and announced, "You owe me a beer, Vulture". Wow, what a "rule-abiding" citizen Fraser must be - I had no idea…Had I been too verbose with my six-word salutation ? Perhaps a simple nod of the head may be all that the busy Mr. Fraser prefers ? Either way, I feel his inference that my greeting was "making a short story long" was a little harsh. Despite this, as I've said many times before, I may be cruel but I'm always fair and so I look forward to buying a beer for Scott the next time I see him in, around, or leaning against a bar…..
Talking of drinking establishments, as I do, I would imagine that there were quite a few of the "usual suspects" with heavy heads last Saturday morning after what can only be described as "a very good drink" on Friday night at The T.R. ( A.V. Brewery Tasting Room). It was a sign of the time of year and the long holiday weekend that there were as many Brightlighters as local folks in attendance and the beers were flowing both extremely well and very rapidly with the T.R. Manager and top bartender, Todd "I could do with a drink" Capuzelo, at the top of his game. It was 10pm when I finally made my exit (to be driven home by a concerned citizen, I should add) and, with Moya's Taco Stand once again the only place in town open for food at that hour, we stopped and enjoyed the friendly atmosphere amongst the crowd of hungry but soon-to-be-satisfied customers lined up alongside the van in downtown Boonville. On that note I have it on good authority that sometime this week, just in time for the start of the N.F.L. season, we will see the introduction of pizza at The T.R. This will not only add a vital ingredient to an evening spent there but in addition, with hot food being made available, by the terms of the license, wine can now also be served …and I know "yer gotta like that !"…..
On a further food note the dinner special at The Boonville Hotel, which offers a three course dinner at a $28 fixed price with, most importantly, no corkage fee, will resume on both Wednesdays and Thursdays next week (14th and 15th). With so many wonderful wines around here this "no corkage fee" is a deal to be taken advantage of by those of you in the mood for a 'fine-dining' experience…And that leads me very neatly into the Wine of the Week…..
Up here at The Nest last Sunday afternoon a small group of local citizens, both upstanding and outstanding, who on occasion have had trouble standing, assembled for drinks and in-depth discussion, in that order. After all it was Labor Day weekend and at some point these people had all worked hard so it was deemed appropriate that to celebrate the holiday weekend a magnum of 1994 L'Ermitage Brut sparkling wine from Roederer Estate here in The Valley (and France) was put on ice before its unveiling for the group's enjoyment.…"Wow !!"…Yes, I said "Wow !"…This stuff was special…"God bless the French", I also said - something you don't hear that often anywhere. Served with Aidell's chicken sausage with artichoke and garlic it was delicious…and when paired with popcorn (and that's not just me, many 'experts' have agreed - I'm serious) it was "world class"…I really thought you should know and you can thank me later if you wish…..
Now it's time for the Whine of the Week…well…I don't have one. All is going according to plan here in Vulture Land, so I will simply say, "Let us prey"…kind regards, Turkey Vulture…..